Reviews from

Act of Endurance

Viewing comments for Chapter 51 "A Tear"
Dawn of Chaos

27 total reviews 
Comment from jmdg1954
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I've tried a few times to read this, even taking shorter chunks at a time. Still cannot make heads or tails from it.

Ie: A toll reality rigid price in down fact alarm,
I in trip coming to wall,
an absolute truth placing my state in pause.
Collision knocks me to my senses,
a corpse decomposing its inners,

Sorry, just don't get it. John

 Comment Written 28-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
    I feel you, although in my perception all makes sense, appreciate your feelings and very generous rate
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

HI TPAC..Incredible message from deep within the infinity of the soul. Your description of tears and the grief on how you ended it with a tear escaped, solves rage is profound. I wish I could know what motivated you to write this piece. I wish I can explore with you as for the definition of existence through Science. I personally stopped the same way as not watching the news because I just didn't like what I was finding along my way. Take care and cheers.

 Comment Written 27-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 28-Jul-2015
    Glad you found interest in this work, I feel the rate way over generous but comment welcomed and apprecitate. As for inspiration my fear of crying
reply by Benjamin Valencia on 28-Jul-2015
    You're being modest...It was a deep poem. Cheers!
Comment from Jean Lutz
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Maybe our tears mingle with raindrops from heaven to fill the sea of life. My hope also is they are part of an eternal rainbow. Well done. Keep on pouring it out in words.

 Comment Written 15-May-2015


reply by the author on 15-May-2015
    Thank you for your encouraging comments and generous rate
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The last two lines were perfect. Very true. And I like how you brought this all together with those two lines. A creative and well written poem. Terrific word choices. I enjoyed it.

 Comment Written 15-May-2015


reply by the author on 15-May-2015

    I need to thank you guys here at Fan Story for the polish considerate thoughts as your own do assist and make things a slight bit better to swollow. Thanks for this great comment about the work and a generous rate
Comment from dmt1967
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I hope you feel better soon my friend. I get like that myself at times. When the curtains open and a water fall flows and will not stop. This is a very well written poem and thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-May-2015


reply by the author on 15-May-2015

    I appreciate the warm comforting sentiments and can see the work touch the heart good old tears fountain of refreshment or gripping anguish. Thanks for generous rate and feelings towards this effort.
Comment from Glasstruth
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Emotions are something that can't be denied. Strange, after crying, sometimes you feel better, and then when you hold it in, it's tearing you apart. I know you write that it feels like "weakness and shame" which seems to be more of a guy thing. The title to this fits perfectly. Well crafted. Les

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 Comment Written 06-May-2015


reply by the author on 08-May-2015

    Thank you for your generous rate and conveyance of feeling. Sometimes emotions is all, in certain circumstance, we have to share
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Good
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Do not like the use of present and past tense throughout this poem. The poem itself has a smooth flow of action and an easy to follow story line. The two tenses used together just seems to throw it off. Write on.

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 Comment Written 06-May-2015


reply by the author on 08-May-2015

    Wonderful input, writing these notes sometime make one blind. Good to have someone outside task insights. Still over generous rate to blah, blah theme, most my works compose lacking its full potential release. Thank you for the must needed salt to give that ting.