Littoral
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Driftwood Sculptress"Poems about the coastline
58 total reviews
Comment from GregoryCody
You have a great cadence here. Your word choices are perfect. So beautiful my friend
Sea born rubbage. Wow. Great choices there
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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You have a great cadence here. Your word choices are perfect. So beautiful my friend
Sea born rubbage. Wow. Great choices there
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Many thanks for reading and for your review.
Comment from rjuselius
This is an intriguing piece of poetic art dear pantygynt! I love the concept of making nothing into something that is totally opposite of the true meaning. Nice one!
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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This is an intriguing piece of poetic art dear pantygynt! I love the concept of making nothing into something that is totally opposite of the true meaning. Nice one!
Thank you for sharing!
Blessings!
Rebekka x
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you for stopping by to read and review. I am most grateful
Comment from Brabazon
Your poem appears deep. I reckon it is a reference to the search for inspiration, born out of nature, the greatest artist.
Sure, beauty resides in the things that nature provides: the seas, the snow capped mountains, valleys, the jungles ...
People like us who live far away from the beach make do with the hills that embrace our towns, but, also, old abandoned mines ...
Your careful choice of words gave the poem an extraordinary flow. I felt the rhythm of the poem like a kick drum component of a music band.
Thank you, for sharing your poem.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Your poem appears deep. I reckon it is a reference to the search for inspiration, born out of nature, the greatest artist.
Sure, beauty resides in the things that nature provides: the seas, the snow capped mountains, valleys, the jungles ...
People like us who live far away from the beach make do with the hills that embrace our towns, but, also, old abandoned mines ...
Your careful choice of words gave the poem an extraordinary flow. I felt the rhythm of the poem like a kick drum component of a music band.
Thank you, for sharing your poem.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you so much for your insightful review I am most grateful.
Comment from ravenblack
I have to commend you for tackling such a difficult form. I had to write a sestina in college and, well, your daughter is lucky she did not find me tangled up with the detritus after my attempt. Great use of enjambment and I really like what you say about art. To the visionary, there is no such thing as just junk, her truth a permanence fashioned from drifts or is cast away. Excellent Sestina.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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I have to commend you for tackling such a difficult form. I had to write a sestina in college and, well, your daughter is lucky she did not find me tangled up with the detritus after my attempt. Great use of enjambment and I really like what you say about art. To the visionary, there is no such thing as just junk, her truth a permanence fashioned from drifts or is cast away. Excellent Sestina.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Many thanks for this far-sighted review for which I am most grateful.
Comment from skye
I really appreciate how intricate your sestina is and how much effort it requires to craft to a really great one, such as this.
What a lovely image of the beach, of its cast-out treasures, and the new things crafted later.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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I really appreciate how intricate your sestina is and how much effort it requires to craft to a really great one, such as this.
What a lovely image of the beach, of its cast-out treasures, and the new things crafted later.
Excellent.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you so mush for reading and your sensitive review. I am most grateful.
Comment from Ekim777
French of course might just be the language for romantic poetry. With regard to verse form, I am impressed by your ambitious drive but your irregular lines threw me. Surely cadence is everything besides the inherent l'esprit. Perversely, I like your final verse -Ekim777
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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French of course might just be the language for romantic poetry. With regard to verse form, I am impressed by your ambitious drive but your irregular lines threw me. Surely cadence is everything besides the inherent l'esprit. Perversely, I like your final verse -Ekim777
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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The strange thing about this poem is that it has attracted totally opposite statement about the same aspect the regularity/irregularity of the lines. The majority are iambic pentameters, with the penultimate line in each verse, while still iambic, is an Alexandrine. There is nothing else. Thank you for taking the trouble to read and review. It is much appreciated.
Comment from Donovan
This is very good. It reads well and flows. The story is easy to follow and the meaning is clear. I particularly like the last three lines. What I don't like is the statement to read author notes first. I am not a fan of author notes. Do not think they should be needed and in this work absolutely do not think they are.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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This is very good. It reads well and flows. The story is easy to follow and the meaning is clear. I particularly like the last three lines. What I don't like is the statement to read author notes first. I am not a fan of author notes. Do not think they should be needed and in this work absolutely do not think they are.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Many thanks for this clear review and for your opinion on notes. I have also received comments of gratitude regarding my notes. Not everyon on FS possesses your experience with poetry in all its forms and many have welcomed the notes as completing their education and contributing to their enjoyment. After all, you didn't have read them. All that aside I am glad you stopped by to read and review it and also that the experience, apart from the notes was enjoyable.
Comment from robina1978
A great painting that complements your poem perfectly. Thanks for your foot note. Your daughter seeks the sea line to find things for her craft, like this driftwood.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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A great painting that complements your poem perfectly. Thanks for your foot note. Your daughter seeks the sea line to find things for her craft, like this driftwood.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you for reading and reviewing this piece so generously.
Comment from nomi338
You know when I was younger and mostly unlearned, I thought all poetry must rhyme implicitly. I was happy to learn that poetry is a great deal more than rhyming couplets. I was overjoyed to learn that there is poetry in everything, movement light, darkness, the eyes, the hands, feet, just literally everything. This wonderful poem is so poetic that it does not need to rhyme at any point, as for me it is the very representation of poetry. Both in its meaning and its interpertation. Wonderful.
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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You know when I was younger and mostly unlearned, I thought all poetry must rhyme implicitly. I was happy to learn that poetry is a great deal more than rhyming couplets. I was overjoyed to learn that there is poetry in everything, movement light, darkness, the eyes, the hands, feet, just literally everything. This wonderful poem is so poetic that it does not need to rhyme at any point, as for me it is the very representation of poetry. Both in its meaning and its interpertation. Wonderful.
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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Thank you so much for reading and writing such a generous review.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day mate. For want of anything more intelligent to say I'll simply say CRIKEY! That is an amazing poem and your daughter has an amazing talent given to her by you my friend. I have to keep some sixes for the needy LOL.
I'm not sure if this is an oversight or not...
"She knows that what she needs, will (be)on that beach" or "is on that beach"
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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G'day mate. For want of anything more intelligent to say I'll simply say CRIKEY! That is an amazing poem and your daughter has an amazing talent given to her by you my friend. I have to keep some sixes for the needy LOL.
I'm not sure if this is an oversight or not...
"She knows that what she needs, will (be)on that beach" or "is on that beach"
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 04-May-2015
reply by the author on 04-May-2015
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This is somewthing called enjambement, where the sense carries over from one line to the next. The passage you quote should be continued so, omitting the line break for ease of understanding the sense goes:
"She knows that what she needs, will on that beach be recognized when seen ..."
Grammar went walkabout!
Thanks for the stars - yup save 'em for the needy. Cheers
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AHHHH! I learn something everyday
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When we stop learning it's time to pull your foreskin over your head and vanish up your prick. You've been teaching me plenty lately -- about bush survival.