In the Grand Scheme...
Welcome30 total reviews
Comment from MusingsOfMWH
Firstly, let me say I'm relieved Ryder's hand will be okay. I can only imagine the level of apprehension you must have felt when you learned of your grandson's injury.
Second, congratulations to your son and daughter-in-law as all of you welcome another member to your family; from what my older sister tells me, I was one of those babies who come when we're ready, too--I should've been born in February, but I made my appearance March 1.
Third, I think you will be fantastic writing children's stories, because you write with engaging detail and with a jolly humor that creates smiles for readers.
All the best to you and yours.
PS: I can identify with your son and Ryder both; when I was four, I learned the hard way before I come to the end of a paved driveway, I'd better be the one to stop my tricycle, because having loose gravel abruptly stop my ride will gash my chin. After I went over the handlebars, I had a laceration that required eight stitches. Frankly, given circumstances for children can turn out far worse than they do, my opinion is that their unseen Guardian Angels deserve a special day on the calendar.
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Firstly, let me say I'm relieved Ryder's hand will be okay. I can only imagine the level of apprehension you must have felt when you learned of your grandson's injury.
Second, congratulations to your son and daughter-in-law as all of you welcome another member to your family; from what my older sister tells me, I was one of those babies who come when we're ready, too--I should've been born in February, but I made my appearance March 1.
Third, I think you will be fantastic writing children's stories, because you write with engaging detail and with a jolly humor that creates smiles for readers.
All the best to you and yours.
PS: I can identify with your son and Ryder both; when I was four, I learned the hard way before I come to the end of a paved driveway, I'd better be the one to stop my tricycle, because having loose gravel abruptly stop my ride will gash my chin. After I went over the handlebars, I had a laceration that required eight stitches. Frankly, given circumstances for children can turn out far worse than they do, my opinion is that their unseen Guardian Angels deserve a special day on the calendar.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from gypsycaravan
Thank you so very much for posting this photo of your grandchildren and the grand-dogs. I love to see and read about happy families. We read so much doom and gloom here on FS. I realize that writing is great therapy for those with horrible traumas as their backstory, but this is so refreshing. Thanks for sharing. Anxious to see the new little girl when she makes her debut.
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Thank you so very much for posting this photo of your grandchildren and the grand-dogs. I love to see and read about happy families. We read so much doom and gloom here on FS. I realize that writing is great therapy for those with horrible traumas as their backstory, but this is so refreshing. Thanks for sharing. Anxious to see the new little girl when she makes her debut.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
How nice to meet your family, John, they sound such a lovely bunch, and what a doting granddaddy. I am a doting grandma too! Your Ryder was a brave boy, just carrying on one handed. I hope you post a photo of your new little angel when she arrives, I think she is going to be very happy with her family of a brother and a sister and not forgetting the puppies. Lovely reading this warm and loving story of your family. I always called my grandfather, Poppa, I've not heard that name for years, it seems to have lost and replaced with granddad. I like, Poppa. :) xsx sandra
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How nice to meet your family, John, they sound such a lovely bunch, and what a doting granddaddy. I am a doting grandma too! Your Ryder was a brave boy, just carrying on one handed. I hope you post a photo of your new little angel when she arrives, I think she is going to be very happy with her family of a brother and a sister and not forgetting the puppies. Lovely reading this warm and loving story of your family. I always called my grandfather, Poppa, I've not heard that name for years, it seems to have lost and replaced with granddad. I like, Poppa. :) xsx sandra
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from jpduck
I enjoyed this letter from a proud 'Poppa'.
A few bits and pieces:
'he los*t* his balance and stumbled towards the fireplace'
'because he hel*d* his precious Anna doll in his right'
'They can put him on the*ir* front porch'
'*This is just as well b*ecause at his short stature, they *would* never find him in the woods that surround[s] the*ir* home.' (Suggestion for clarification).
Also, in paras 5 and 11 and again at the very end, there are some stray bits of computer code that got in somehow. They look like the letter A with a circumflex over it. There are a number of them. But if you go into Edit mode, they are easily deleted. It seems to be a FS problem which shows every now and then.
Adrian
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I enjoyed this letter from a proud 'Poppa'.
A few bits and pieces:
'he los*t* his balance and stumbled towards the fireplace'
'because he hel*d* his precious Anna doll in his right'
'They can put him on the*ir* front porch'
'*This is just as well b*ecause at his short stature, they *would* never find him in the woods that surround[s] the*ir* home.' (Suggestion for clarification).
Also, in paras 5 and 11 and again at the very end, there are some stray bits of computer code that got in somehow. They look like the letter A with a circumflex over it. There are a number of them. But if you go into Edit mode, they are easily deleted. It seems to be a FS problem which shows every now and then.
Adrian
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from chasennov
"In the Grand Scheme..." This is a very good and solid private piece you have elaborated on. I enjoyed meeting this young family and I hope everything goes well for them. All the best.
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"In the Grand Scheme..." This is a very good and solid private piece you have elaborated on. I enjoyed meeting this young family and I hope everything goes well for them. All the best.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from giraffmang
This is a nice snapshot of family life. you introduce everyone well and the descriptiveness is appealing but it doesn't really go anywhere. Most reader's will want something more. It is nicely written and accessible. A little more proof reading too before posting.
Good luck.
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This is a nice snapshot of family life. you introduce everyone well and the descriptiveness is appealing but it doesn't really go anywhere. Most reader's will want something more. It is nicely written and accessible. A little more proof reading too before posting.
Good luck.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from Sasha
he losy his balance...I think you mean 'lost'...
because he help his precious Anna doll in his right...I think you mean 'held'...
Ã?? Ã?? Ã?? ...not sure what these are but the appear sporadically in this piece.
I think you could have ended this after your conversation with your granddaughter. The section on the grand puppies is cute, but wold make for a better story if done separately. Still, very sweet story filled with lots of love and compassion from their Poppa. Great photo too.
Sorry, I forgot to add, I gave you 4 stars because this doesn't shine like you previous posts. If you go back over it and do a bit of a rework, I will be happy to change my 4 into a 5.
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he losy his balance...I think you mean 'lost'...
because he help his precious Anna doll in his right...I think you mean 'held'...
Ã?? Ã?? Ã?? ...not sure what these are but the appear sporadically in this piece.
I think you could have ended this after your conversation with your granddaughter. The section on the grand puppies is cute, but wold make for a better story if done separately. Still, very sweet story filled with lots of love and compassion from their Poppa. Great photo too.
Sorry, I forgot to add, I gave you 4 stars because this doesn't shine like you previous posts. If you go back over it and do a bit of a rework, I will be happy to change my 4 into a 5.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from Dr. Nad
"In the Grand Scheme..." is a very nice microcosm of your wonderful family. Children and their antics are of great interest to grandparents, (my 3 call me "Gramps"). Nice job but try to get the picture you describe to appear. The following are several of the possible changes you might want to consider:
{ (I did not get any picture)-- he los(t) his balance and stumbled toward(s) the fireplace. -- balance(,) (because he hel(d) his precious Anna doll in his right)(,) and -- The doctor indicated(, ")although it looks horrendous, it will heal just fine.(") -- They can put him on (their) front porch -- is named(,) Snow. --}
May God Bless You.
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"In the Grand Scheme..." is a very nice microcosm of your wonderful family. Children and their antics are of great interest to grandparents, (my 3 call me "Gramps"). Nice job but try to get the picture you describe to appear. The following are several of the possible changes you might want to consider:
{ (I did not get any picture)-- he los(t) his balance and stumbled toward(s) the fireplace. -- balance(,) (because he hel(d) his precious Anna doll in his right)(,) and -- The doctor indicated(, ")although it looks horrendous, it will heal just fine.(") -- They can put him on (their) front porch -- is named(,) Snow. --}
May God Bless You.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from S.M.E.Schultz
That's a lovely montage. [Check for spell-check mistakes.. there are a couple.]
Good description of characters, and something to keep their current personalities fresh.Trust me, as they grow up you will not remember exactly how you saw them at this age, so keep writing about them now!
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That's a lovely montage. [Check for spell-check mistakes.. there are a couple.]
Good description of characters, and something to keep their current personalities fresh.Trust me, as they grow up you will not remember exactly how you saw them at this age, so keep writing about them now!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
Comment from Spiritual Echo
John, it would probably be better if you changed the category to letters and diary as it just doesn't fit as general fiction. You are missing a key element, and with all due respect, as you know I think you are a very good writer, what happened to the plot, crisis and resolution? I don't have it in my heart to give you a four, but seriously?
Smurphgirl--Sasha--posts regularly stories what she calls rambles, telling stories about day-to-day events in her life in Mexico. These are fun reads with no purpose other than to share her day-to-day life, but even with her, something happens. Your post is an introduction to a family, like a grandparent pulling out pictures and bragging about his family, and putting his cronies to sleep.
If this were an introduction to a longer story and the next paragraph went into how all hell hroke loose with the dog, the kids etc., well then maybe, but...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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John, it would probably be better if you changed the category to letters and diary as it just doesn't fit as general fiction. You are missing a key element, and with all due respect, as you know I think you are a very good writer, what happened to the plot, crisis and resolution? I don't have it in my heart to give you a four, but seriously?
Smurphgirl--Sasha--posts regularly stories what she calls rambles, telling stories about day-to-day events in her life in Mexico. These are fun reads with no purpose other than to share her day-to-day life, but even with her, something happens. Your post is an introduction to a family, like a grandparent pulling out pictures and bragging about his family, and putting his cronies to sleep.
If this were an introduction to a longer story and the next paragraph went into how all hell hroke loose with the dog, the kids etc., well then maybe, but...
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015