Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "I Love A Gal With Brains"A collection of sonnets
32 total reviews
Comment from Linda Engel
Really Mike, I am so proud of you. I knew there was a purpose for us women with brains, that we would fit into your delightful little world. Tasty and finger licking good she stayed with him forever. good sonnet.
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Really Mike, I am so proud of you. I knew there was a purpose for us women with brains, that we would fit into your delightful little world. Tasty and finger licking good she stayed with him forever. good sonnet.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from Eternal Muse
That was gruesome and hilarious at the same time, Mike. A fantastic artistic presentation and colors. Great word choices for a horror write. I especially liked the couplet. Your iambic meter is in place, and you've created a very effective horror sonnet.
There is one spot that needs revision:
Line 8 - you have:
"There's passion in my grim macabre ballet".
I checked a few sources and "macabre" is 3 syllables and pronounced "ma-KA-bra". You can check dictionary.com, it even gives you pronounciatioin. So "ma-KA-bra ba-LEY" (macabre ballet) don't make it into the meter, and that line is 11 syllables. This is monitored by the committee, not by me this time, and they are harsh on those things.
That is my only feedback, the rest is great.
Thank you for joining us, love, Y.
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That was gruesome and hilarious at the same time, Mike. A fantastic artistic presentation and colors. Great word choices for a horror write. I especially liked the couplet. Your iambic meter is in place, and you've created a very effective horror sonnet.
There is one spot that needs revision:
Line 8 - you have:
"There's passion in my grim macabre ballet".
I checked a few sources and "macabre" is 3 syllables and pronounced "ma-KA-bra". You can check dictionary.com, it even gives you pronounciatioin. So "ma-KA-bra ba-LEY" (macabre ballet) don't make it into the meter, and that line is 11 syllables. This is monitored by the committee, not by me this time, and they are harsh on those things.
That is my only feedback, the rest is great.
Thank you for joining us, love, Y.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from nancy_e_davis
LOL This is surprisingly horrible and should be a good entry for the contest. I had to check to make sure it was you Mikey.
You bring your sweet a[and/?] lov'ly bright bouquet;??? I felt like the 11th line meter was off. Check that out. Good job. Good luck. Nancy
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LOL This is surprisingly horrible and should be a good entry for the contest. I had to check to make sure it was you Mikey.
You bring your sweet a[and/?] lov'ly bright bouquet;??? I felt like the 11th line meter was off. Check that out. Good job. Good luck. Nancy
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from Dean Kuch
Hah! Most inhumane indeed, Mikey, LOL. By the looks of the guy in the picture, he'd just finished eatin' a little...brain food himself, and it was most likely her mind he was really into...literally!
Well, how could I not give this anything but one of my coveted sixes? I mean, sure, it's horror, and it's a sonnet, but that's what the contest called for after all, right? You certainly did it proud! Heh-heh-heh...
Good luck in the voting. :}
~Dean
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Hah! Most inhumane indeed, Mikey, LOL. By the looks of the guy in the picture, he'd just finished eatin' a little...brain food himself, and it was most likely her mind he was really into...literally!
Well, how could I not give this anything but one of my coveted sixes? I mean, sure, it's horror, and it's a sonnet, but that's what the contest called for after all, right? You certainly did it proud! Heh-heh-heh...
Good luck in the voting. :}
~Dean
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from emrpoems
Hats off to you on this presentation but I did feel a bit upset . Well executed and you certainly accomplished all you planned.
Filled with horror and humor
good pairing of picture and a strong entry in the contest
I wish you all the best
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Hats off to you on this presentation but I did feel a bit upset . Well executed and you certainly accomplished all you planned.
Filled with horror and humor
good pairing of picture and a strong entry in the contest
I wish you all the best
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from Sasha
Yuck, and double yuck. This is a terrific entry for this Horror Sonnet contest. Seeing the words Horror and Sonnet side-by-side does cause one to shake their head. You have done a marvelously yucky job with this one and even added a teaspoon of humor to the recipe. I wish you all the best in the contest too.
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Yuck, and double yuck. This is a terrific entry for this Horror Sonnet contest. Seeing the words Horror and Sonnet side-by-side does cause one to shake their head. You have done a marvelously yucky job with this one and even added a teaspoon of humor to the recipe. I wish you all the best in the contest too.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
aaahhh the master has struck yet again.
A beautiful love piece done in the way he saw it not the way she intended.
I don't do sonnets very well but this one is exceptional.
very good yet gory read. ugh
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aaahhh the master has struck yet again.
A beautiful love piece done in the way he saw it not the way she intended.
I don't do sonnets very well but this one is exceptional.
very good yet gory read. ugh
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from gypsycaravan
Sure glad I don't have any of those brain things, mikey. The writing is excellent, of course. Your presentation, artwork, colors, etc. is always riveting, also. Didn't like that guy staring at me while I was reading. Please inform him my brains have all grown old and shriveled up. Good job. Should take the Horror sonnet contest win with ease.
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Sure glad I don't have any of those brain things, mikey. The writing is excellent, of course. Your presentation, artwork, colors, etc. is always riveting, also. Didn't like that guy staring at me while I was reading. Please inform him my brains have all grown old and shriveled up. Good job. Should take the Horror sonnet contest win with ease.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from giraffmang
This is a very good entry into the Horror Sonnet competition. It ticks all the right boxes.
Well written and good word choices and is it wrong for me to say that it was fun?
Good luck with it.
GMG
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This is a very good entry into the Horror Sonnet competition. It ticks all the right boxes.
Well written and good word choices and is it wrong for me to say that it was fun?
Good luck with it.
GMG
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
Comment from Kingsland
This poem is rather sick to say the least. But I did find it to be rather humorous. It was a kind of sick satire about the reality of horror in this sick society of ours. This was a well written poetic voice that I enjoyed reading and writing this response for... John
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This poem is rather sick to say the least. But I did find it to be rather humorous. It was a kind of sick satire about the reality of horror in this sick society of ours. This was a well written poetic voice that I enjoyed reading and writing this response for... John
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2015
