An American Christmas
Short Story30 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
That is exactly what my son said, giving away foreign aid for it to be corrupted by some president somewhere, and veterans who served their country are left outside in the cold to be disrespected and die. A story with an excellent message: have compassion at Christmas and help a homeless person. Well narrated and good factual information about this horrible situation. Good luck in the contest. Faye
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That is exactly what my son said, giving away foreign aid for it to be corrupted by some president somewhere, and veterans who served their country are left outside in the cold to be disrespected and die. A story with an excellent message: have compassion at Christmas and help a homeless person. Well narrated and good factual information about this horrible situation. Good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Michael: So many people on the streets with stories to tell... We take in homeless in our basement apartment. They pay the rent and we give them a turn-key apartment with bedding, tv, comforts with a kitchen, all. We know. We have seen them on the streets in Dallas and Minneapolis, walking and no place to go, a sign and a backpack. Jesus was homeless.
The church people help but they like the comforts of the church...more are going outside of the steeple. I am a street walker...prayer warrior...lifting people up. (You probably have read my stories). God uses us all, broken and healed.
Who are helping the ex-vets? Well written story Mikey, as always! flylikeaneagle
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Michael: So many people on the streets with stories to tell... We take in homeless in our basement apartment. They pay the rent and we give them a turn-key apartment with bedding, tv, comforts with a kitchen, all. We know. We have seen them on the streets in Dallas and Minneapolis, walking and no place to go, a sign and a backpack. Jesus was homeless.
The church people help but they like the comforts of the church...more are going outside of the steeple. I am a street walker...prayer warrior...lifting people up. (You probably have read my stories). God uses us all, broken and healed.
Who are helping the ex-vets? Well written story Mikey, as always! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, this is the side of Christmas "spirit" that so many choose to ignore. Yes, it is shameful of how vets are treated, especially if they have PTSD and labeled crazy. Some do salve their conscious by being generous to the homeless once a year. They are truly spiritually homeless, too. This is a powerful commentary. All the best in the contest. :0 GracieAnn
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Mikey, this is the side of Christmas "spirit" that so many choose to ignore. Yes, it is shameful of how vets are treated, especially if they have PTSD and labeled crazy. Some do salve their conscious by being generous to the homeless once a year. They are truly spiritually homeless, too. This is a powerful commentary. All the best in the contest. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
This is a great contest entry. A wonderful story from the master and it ended the way you expect it to end. I remember giving a homeless man ten dollars and my friend said it was stupid. We were in McDonald's when he came in and bought food. Wow
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This is a great contest entry. A wonderful story from the master and it ended the way you expect it to end. I remember giving a homeless man ten dollars and my friend said it was stupid. We were in McDonald's when he came in and bought food. Wow
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This is so well voiced. There is no preachiness with this piece. I think it is effective to use a less than stellar character as narrator. It gives a gritty realistic feel to the piece. He isn't sympathetic, however the cause in general is. Perhaps a strong contender here.
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This is so well voiced. There is no preachiness with this piece. I think it is effective to use a less than stellar character as narrator. It gives a gritty realistic feel to the piece. He isn't sympathetic, however the cause in general is. Perhaps a strong contender here.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
Comment from Sankey
Well done mate and I believe ya for sure. I wish you well hope you win something. Error free and a great read all through.
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Well done mate and I believe ya for sure. I wish you well hope you win something. Error free and a great read all through.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
Comment from gypsycaravan
Shameful is right. Thanks so much for writing this great reminder. I really like the "voice" used to tell the story. People shouldn't point there fingers at them for drinking. What else do some of them have to look forward to?
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Shameful is right. Thanks so much for writing this great reminder. I really like the "voice" used to tell the story. People shouldn't point there fingers at them for drinking. What else do some of them have to look forward to?
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Well written. However, I think the shame here is in the homeless man who let himself become dependent on booze. If he had an ounce of sense or self-esteem, he would go to social services in his city and ask to be put into a hospital to dry out. Then he would not drink anymore. Period. Then he could stay in shelters until he landed a job. J-O-B... yes, they still exist for minimum wage, which is helluva lot better than hoping for far less each day just to blow it on booze that keeps him out on the street. He served in the military therefore he must have some sort of skill. And a lot of places will hire vets down on their luck... IF they are trying... and sober every day.
I'm sure there are homeless folks who got a bad break and are trying to do better. THIS GUY is not one of them, so don't ask me to feel sorry for him.
Want to read something inspiring? Look at Travis Pratt's facebook page and see the pics and signs and personal words of wisdom he has penned on it. What did his hard work and personal responsibilty get him? An education, and not just any education. This one took years of hard work and determination. What did he study? Here's your answer:
Then there's Dr. Ben Carson, who grew up in a poor neighborhood in Detroit and lost friends and relatives to murder by gun-toting gang members (none of them legal guns, of course). His future as a child was grim and he felt it. He got failing grades in school and felt sure he was stupid. With no father in the house, his mother worked two jobs to support him and his younger brother. The family NEVER accepted welfare, altho she qualified. She wanted to work her way thru life. It was HER idea to make the boys read books, and tho they fought her on it, she knew that education was all that would save her boys. SHe couldn't read herself, btw. Well, long story short, it changed their lives. So they had the right sort of mom.... without her, Ben Carson would not be the nation's number one brain surgeon for children, head of neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins. He didn't get over his despair at all the death around him and the gangs on his streets by drinking. He got himself educated, learned to love reading, and dreamt of becoming a doctor. And what a magnificent one he was. Now retired, he's being pressured/begged to run for president. If he is nominated, he's got my vote. He's a verrry smart man with the right ideas for our sick, sick country.
This is the full movie made of his incredible life story:
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reply by the author on 20-Dec-2014
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Well written. However, I think the shame here is in the homeless man who let himself become dependent on booze. If he had an ounce of sense or self-esteem, he would go to social services in his city and ask to be put into a hospital to dry out. Then he would not drink anymore. Period. Then he could stay in shelters until he landed a job. J-O-B... yes, they still exist for minimum wage, which is helluva lot better than hoping for far less each day just to blow it on booze that keeps him out on the street. He served in the military therefore he must have some sort of skill. And a lot of places will hire vets down on their luck... IF they are trying... and sober every day.
I'm sure there are homeless folks who got a bad break and are trying to do better. THIS GUY is not one of them, so don't ask me to feel sorry for him.
Want to read something inspiring? Look at Travis Pratt's facebook page and see the pics and signs and personal words of wisdom he has penned on it. What did his hard work and personal responsibilty get him? An education, and not just any education. This one took years of hard work and determination. What did he study? Here's your answer:
Then there's Dr. Ben Carson, who grew up in a poor neighborhood in Detroit and lost friends and relatives to murder by gun-toting gang members (none of them legal guns, of course). His future as a child was grim and he felt it. He got failing grades in school and felt sure he was stupid. With no father in the house, his mother worked two jobs to support him and his younger brother. The family NEVER accepted welfare, altho she qualified. She wanted to work her way thru life. It was HER idea to make the boys read books, and tho they fought her on it, she knew that education was all that would save her boys. SHe couldn't read herself, btw. Well, long story short, it changed their lives. So they had the right sort of mom.... without her, Ben Carson would not be the nation's number one brain surgeon for children, head of neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins. He didn't get over his despair at all the death around him and the gangs on his streets by drinking. He got himself educated, learned to love reading, and dreamt of becoming a doctor. And what a magnificent one he was. Now retired, he's being pressured/begged to run for president. If he is nominated, he's got my vote. He's a verrry smart man with the right ideas for our sick, sick country.
This is the full movie made of his incredible life story:
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2014
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True. The guy in the story is no example of someone to feel sorry for. I am familiar with both of these Men and there are many, many others just like them. A great many of the homeless here including some veterans are fully capable of working and getting out of their situation and chose to be homeless. That is a fact unfortunately. There's a couple of the people we take care of who actually caused their own mental illness with drug abuse. But, here they are and here we are taking care of them. I don't know the answer. There are a lot of disabled people on the streets here. This is also a dumping ground for L.A.s mentally ill criminal population who are discharged from prison due to overcrowding and are no longer provided housing. It's a dangerous town. At one point we were working with parole taking in these people on parole and getting them on proper meds, counseling and all of that. Then, the funding was cut off without notice. We were left with four people who had no means to pay rent and nowhere to go. We didn't dump them on the street, but most facilities did. Of course, the majority ended up back in jail after committing various violent crimes. The rest are just time bombs waiting to go off. I don't let anyone here go out after dark. Anyway, a great response. Two amazing guys. I personally don't understand people who want things done for them. I wasn't born with that gene. mikey
Comment from S.M.E.Schultz
I find this to be a very provocative piece... matter- of- fact and not emotional, like a transcribed interview. I'm trying to read the character's attitude and it makes me want to ask questions.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2014
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I find this to be a very provocative piece... matter- of- fact and not emotional, like a transcribed interview. I'm trying to read the character's attitude and it makes me want to ask questions.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2014
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Hi, and welcome to FanStory. What a nice concise review. Very appreciated. Usually a four star rating means you found errors or something lacking in the writing. It normally comes with suggestions for improvement etc. I just point that out as some people will have a fit if you give them a four!! We all did the same thing when we started out. "Good" seems like a "good" rating. :) You'll find that it isn't. Logical, isn't it? No big deal. If you have questions feel free to ask any of us, MOST of us are very nice and helpful. There's some major idiots mixed in, just ignore them. Hahaha. mikey
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Mike, sorry for the delay...I sent a reply but it didn't make it to you. Of course, I did it at 3am while trying not to wake up spouse... not surprising it got lost!
Anyway, thanks for the advice. I tend to jump in before completely absorbing directions/instructions. I like to think of it as a privilege of age, but... my bad.
Your character confused me. Sometimes he sounded very "professorial" and then at times he let his grammar slip in street level. So I wasn't sure if he was lecturing or just stating his situation. I couldn't find his emotional attachment to his opinion. I don't know if that makes sense to you. I didn't fell any underlying resentment or anger or despair. Which is why it made me want to ask more question of him. And why it was very provocative. Dos that make sense to you?
Anyway, thanks for the advice. I will go back and review the instructions on the website for rookies!
Comment from giraffmang
This is a fantastic piece of writing.
It really does push home this issues without being preachy or over the top.
It is very written and managing to make the reader feel and challenges them in subtle ways.
I agree that this is a very shameful situation and more should be done. I am not American but agree whole-heartedly with he sentiments expressed. I grew up with army on the streets where I lived to help protect us from daily threat of terrorist attacks. Nothing but respect. Anyone who serves deserves more for what they do for us.
The sixth star is for making me feel and a tribute to the subject raised at a time when most are concerned with themselves.
Gareth
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This is a fantastic piece of writing.
It really does push home this issues without being preachy or over the top.
It is very written and managing to make the reader feel and challenges them in subtle ways.
I agree that this is a very shameful situation and more should be done. I am not American but agree whole-heartedly with he sentiments expressed. I grew up with army on the streets where I lived to help protect us from daily threat of terrorist attacks. Nothing but respect. Anyone who serves deserves more for what they do for us.
The sixth star is for making me feel and a tribute to the subject raised at a time when most are concerned with themselves.
Gareth
Comment Written 20-Dec-2014
