Killings in Chicago
I'm heart broken31 total reviews
Comment from AAud
I don't give out my 6's easily - but you DEFINITELY earned the rating.
You did an awesome job of using dialog to tell a story. And the dialog was believable and interesting. Plus, in the process, you made some excellent points about gun violence. Kudos!
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I don't give out my 6's easily - but you DEFINITELY earned the rating.
You did an awesome job of using dialog to tell a story. And the dialog was believable and interesting. Plus, in the process, you made some excellent points about gun violence. Kudos!
Comment Written 11-Jul-2014
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hey, I've just given away my last three sixes of the week to three entries in this contest and it'll be a toss-up which of them I vote for...
Maybe you'll have the edge with this - not just entertaining but also with a powerful message about the reasons for gun violence.
I'm sure it won't make you feel any better if I tell you that most people in countries like ours think Americans are crazy for allowing (encouraging?) such easy access to guns.
Best of luck!
Steve
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Hey, I've just given away my last three sixes of the week to three entries in this contest and it'll be a toss-up which of them I vote for...
Maybe you'll have the edge with this - not just entertaining but also with a powerful message about the reasons for gun violence.
I'm sure it won't make you feel any better if I tell you that most people in countries like ours think Americans are crazy for allowing (encouraging?) such easy access to guns.
Best of luck!
Steve
Comment Written 11-Jul-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
I'm glad I have a six left for this masterpiece. I cannot wait to see who the author is. If I'm not a fan, I will soon be. Great to see the issue explored realistically, and wouldn't it be wonderful if more talk shows and opinion shows DID EXACTLY THIS? Yes, it would be. But lies rule the day, even tho all the statistics on gun laws CLEARLY show that the more LEGAL and LICENSED guns are owned and carried by law-abiding people in any city, the LOWER crime falls, especially the violent kind where innocents are killed.
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I'm glad I have a six left for this masterpiece. I cannot wait to see who the author is. If I'm not a fan, I will soon be. Great to see the issue explored realistically, and wouldn't it be wonderful if more talk shows and opinion shows DID EXACTLY THIS? Yes, it would be. But lies rule the day, even tho all the statistics on gun laws CLEARLY show that the more LEGAL and LICENSED guns are owned and carried by law-abiding people in any city, the LOWER crime falls, especially the violent kind where innocents are killed.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2014
Comment from Dawn Munro
Well, I wanted to rate this a six, but I don't have any. Then I thought I'd just wait until I do, but I see this is a blind entry to a prompt.
The plot is exceptional (behind the dialogue) - absolutely outstanding - a radio talk-show host speaking to callers is a brilliant idea for a dialogue-only story, but then, his chat is so real, it's like it's happening as we read.
Topping it off is the amazing message - hard reality - tragic, but real. Even the excuses were authentic.
OUTSTANDING - I ONY WISH I COULD RATE IT SO - NO SIXES.
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Well, I wanted to rate this a six, but I don't have any. Then I thought I'd just wait until I do, but I see this is a blind entry to a prompt.
The plot is exceptional (behind the dialogue) - absolutely outstanding - a radio talk-show host speaking to callers is a brilliant idea for a dialogue-only story, but then, his chat is so real, it's like it's happening as we read.
Topping it off is the amazing message - hard reality - tragic, but real. Even the excuses were authentic.
OUTSTANDING - I ONY WISH I COULD RATE IT SO - NO SIXES.
************************!!!!!
Comment Written 11-Jul-2014
Comment from Dean Kuch
Nice dialogue only story, Author 'X', and using a radio call in show and talk show host was a fantastic idea. Perfect for this type of story.
The show's host, Alex, makes several great points, and if we don't stand up and take responsibility for our actions, instead of doing whatever we can to fix the problem, well, it will never go away. I liked how he turned the tables on his last caller, Debbie, too.
Great work! I wish you all the best in the writing prompt.
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Nice dialogue only story, Author 'X', and using a radio call in show and talk show host was a fantastic idea. Perfect for this type of story.
The show's host, Alex, makes several great points, and if we don't stand up and take responsibility for our actions, instead of doing whatever we can to fix the problem, well, it will never go away. I liked how he turned the tables on his last caller, Debbie, too.
Great work! I wish you all the best in the writing prompt.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2014
Comment from janalma
Wow. What you said in this is unbelievable. I just wish that it wasn't so politically incorrect to tell the truth. Very well written dialogue and believable.
Noticed a little spag...
Alex, I heard the Mayor this morning. He said them guns are coming from Indiana, and if we don't get some kind of federal law, how are (we) supposed to keep guns out of Chicago?"
weren't eight-five shootings in gun happy (gun-happy?) Dallas Texas, where even cows carry guns,
"Yes, thank the Lord, but, Alex, I agree with {the-delete} Tyrone.
I think there were more places where you need dashes to connect words, but I'm not sure about it, so didn't mention it. Anyway, this is spot-on and needs to be said. I know many won't agree, but they are hiding their heads in the sand. Following 'important' people's lead and being PC. Trouble is, we know the truth but everyone's scared. So, it will go on.
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Wow. What you said in this is unbelievable. I just wish that it wasn't so politically incorrect to tell the truth. Very well written dialogue and believable.
Noticed a little spag...
Alex, I heard the Mayor this morning. He said them guns are coming from Indiana, and if we don't get some kind of federal law, how are (we) supposed to keep guns out of Chicago?"
weren't eight-five shootings in gun happy (gun-happy?) Dallas Texas, where even cows carry guns,
"Yes, thank the Lord, but, Alex, I agree with {the-delete} Tyrone.
I think there were more places where you need dashes to connect words, but I'm not sure about it, so didn't mention it. Anyway, this is spot-on and needs to be said. I know many won't agree, but they are hiding their heads in the sand. Following 'important' people's lead and being PC. Trouble is, we know the truth but everyone's scared. So, it will go on.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2014
Comment from Cajungirl
Oh, my gosh, this is an excellent contest entry, but more than that..it is a great read that expresses so much. Sounds so authentic. I do realize it is based on truth. i heard about the deadly weekend in Chicago. I think it isn't gun violence, it's violence in people. The guns are the weapons of choice. My sons, husband and two young grandsons are all hunters. The use of a gun is part of Louisiana.
Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
Note: eight(y) five shootings
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Oh, my gosh, this is an excellent contest entry, but more than that..it is a great read that expresses so much. Sounds so authentic. I do realize it is based on truth. i heard about the deadly weekend in Chicago. I think it isn't gun violence, it's violence in people. The guns are the weapons of choice. My sons, husband and two young grandsons are all hunters. The use of a gun is part of Louisiana.
Thank you for sharing and best of luck in the contest.
Note: eight(y) five shootings
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
Comment from emrpoems
I love the idea of a radio program for your dialogue and it sounded real and live. you also ended on a rather natural not -taking a commercial break. Your chances of winning this contest are very good
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I love the idea of a radio program for your dialogue and it sounded real and live. you also ended on a rather natural not -taking a commercial break. Your chances of winning this contest are very good
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
Comment from Michaelk
Do me a huge favor...Send this story to every congressman, senator, political activist, anyone who says that guns are the problem rather than the people who wield them.
This is the best argument I have ever seen in this whole debate over guns. I'm not going to say which side I'm on, but I will say that people involved in this need to step back and get a little perspective. I believe this story portrays that perfectly.
Well done. Truly excellent.
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Do me a huge favor...Send this story to every congressman, senator, political activist, anyone who says that guns are the problem rather than the people who wield them.
This is the best argument I have ever seen in this whole debate over guns. I'm not going to say which side I'm on, but I will say that people involved in this need to step back and get a little perspective. I believe this story portrays that perfectly.
Well done. Truly excellent.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
Comment from OLA THOMAS
Really deep a dialogue for this contest. All strict rules well observed and your run your comments real and sound. Good theme that intelligently hit on a serious public issue.
ola thomas
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Really deep a dialogue for this contest. All strict rules well observed and your run your comments real and sound. Good theme that intelligently hit on a serious public issue.
ola thomas
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2014
