Where Lands The Albatross
Who are those that may be geniuses, yet damnedmed .32 total reviews
Comment from Bryana
Very well written, it caught my interest from the
very beginning. It's very sad, specially since it
is biographical, it was your father. It's certainly
a shame that the medical profession didn't help him.
There are many people with the same problem even though
they might be geniuses, as your father was.
Excellent writing.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Very well written, it caught my interest from the
very beginning. It's very sad, specially since it
is biographical, it was your father. It's certainly
a shame that the medical profession didn't help him.
There are many people with the same problem even though
they might be geniuses, as your father was.
Excellent writing.
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from OLA THOMAS
This is really a sad and dark story. Well articulated to move even a stone-hearted person. Many invaluable geniuses had been lost to oblivion as a result of unfair discrimination. So sad he was one of them.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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This is really a sad and dark story. Well articulated to move even a stone-hearted person. Many invaluable geniuses had been lost to oblivion as a result of unfair discrimination. So sad he was one of them.
ola thomas
Comment Written 03-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Selina Stambi
Dear ElP,
As the tragic drama unfolded, I found myself quite riveted, wondering where the story was going.
Such a sad piece - the sorrow is compounded by the fact that it is biographical.
Some dramatic changes are required in our attitudes and mindsets.
A touching piece. Your father seems to have been a brilliant man.
Hope you had a wonderful weekend.
Sonali
every day(.) (H)is ability in math, engineering, art, music(no comma needed) and flying, made everyone(no comma needed) (believe) he was
saxophones(.) (H)is practicing was my private
He traveled(no comma needed) on weekends
today(.) (N)o, just wood, crate(-)like with wings.
His curse(no comma needed) was working in a sea of college educated engineers and doctors(space-space)brightly colored fish, with fan(-)like fins, while he like a metaphorical
appearance(.) (H)e was handsome with dark black, naturally curly hair, pearl(-)white teeth
as zombie(-)pale as one of Scrooge's ghosts.
He was fifty, I was twenty-five(.), I knew my Father, but I did not know him(.)(B)ut I loved him.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Dear ElP,
As the tragic drama unfolded, I found myself quite riveted, wondering where the story was going.
Such a sad piece - the sorrow is compounded by the fact that it is biographical.
Some dramatic changes are required in our attitudes and mindsets.
A touching piece. Your father seems to have been a brilliant man.
Hope you had a wonderful weekend.
Sonali
every day(.) (H)is ability in math, engineering, art, music(no comma needed) and flying, made everyone(no comma needed) (believe) he was
saxophones(.) (H)is practicing was my private
He traveled(no comma needed) on weekends
today(.) (N)o, just wood, crate(-)like with wings.
His curse(no comma needed) was working in a sea of college educated engineers and doctors(space-space)brightly colored fish, with fan(-)like fins, while he like a metaphorical
appearance(.) (H)e was handsome with dark black, naturally curly hair, pearl(-)white teeth
as zombie(-)pale as one of Scrooge's ghosts.
He was fifty, I was twenty-five(.), I knew my Father, but I did not know him(.)(B)ut I loved him.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Victoria K
This is a breathtakingly beautiful piece of writing.
Your chosen words are emotionally evocative, taking the reader on a journey of discovery.
The images and metaphors you have chosen are very strong, and enable the reader to grasp the importance of what is being said. The albatross is a good example of this, but even more so is leprosy. This is a very clever analogy to mental illness, and it forces the reader to consider the truth behind this.
I see this work as a vehicle for social change. You are absolutely correct about changing society's views and treatment for mental illness.
Thanks so much for sharing your story.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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This is a breathtakingly beautiful piece of writing.
Your chosen words are emotionally evocative, taking the reader on a journey of discovery.
The images and metaphors you have chosen are very strong, and enable the reader to grasp the importance of what is being said. The albatross is a good example of this, but even more so is leprosy. This is a very clever analogy to mental illness, and it forces the reader to consider the truth behind this.
I see this work as a vehicle for social change. You are absolutely correct about changing society's views and treatment for mental illness.
Thanks so much for sharing your story.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2014
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Thank you for such a descriptive evaluation. I hope you enjoyed the ride.
Sometimes reality is hard to deal with, but we all must be caring and sharing, and it works.
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You're very welcome; I'm glad you appreciated my review. Would you consider using one of your reviewer votes to nominate me?
Many thanks,
Victoria
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Yes. However, I do not know the procedure. Please explain.
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If you go back to my review, beside my name there should be a thumbs up icon. You click on that to nominate. You can nominate up to 6 people a month.
Thanks so much :)
Victoria
Comment from c_lucas
Fanstory has set rules for posting:
Formatting for easier reading
Block every paragraph. No indentation.
Line breaks to separate paragraphs
Line breaks to separate dialogue and to show who is talking
Line breaks to introduce beginning and ending dialogue
Extra line breaks to show changer of POV, time, and setting
********
Other than your lack of formatting, this is well written.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2014
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Fanstory has set rules for posting:
Formatting for easier reading
Block every paragraph. No indentation.
Line breaks to separate paragraphs
Line breaks to separate dialogue and to show who is talking
Line breaks to introduce beginning and ending dialogue
Extra line breaks to show changer of POV, time, and setting
********
Other than your lack of formatting, this is well written.
Comment Written 15-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2014
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Thank you. I know substance is important, but form cannot be neglected. I have copied your suggestions, I need to make things fit.
Thanks
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You're welcome, EP. Charlie
Comment from Leineco
Although you chose to label this non-fiction as opposed to biographical, it seems clear you are writing from personal experience - your details and arguments seem to come from a place of knowledge and conviction - both of which scent your writing with sincerity. I found this to be a compelling read for those reasons.
One quick typo note:
re: learned to fly airplanes, and soled as a teenager, soled should be soloed :-)
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Although you chose to label this non-fiction as opposed to biographical, it seems clear you are writing from personal experience - your details and arguments seem to come from a place of knowledge and conviction - both of which scent your writing with sincerity. I found this to be a compelling read for those reasons.
One quick typo note:
re: learned to fly airplanes, and soled as a teenager, soled should be soloed :-)
Comment Written 10-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2014
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Thank you. Yes, it is biographical. Revisions are always my follow up. Thanks for the catch.
Comment from risktaker
Mental illness is rampant in our society and a priority to address the needs of depressed people is great. Love, patience, compassion, and appropriate counseling and medication would cause tremendous healing and raise the self-esteem of the afflicted." Love your neighbor as yourself. But for the grace of God, their go I." Thanks
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Mental illness is rampant in our society and a priority to address the needs of depressed people is great. Love, patience, compassion, and appropriate counseling and medication would cause tremendous healing and raise the self-esteem of the afflicted." Love your neighbor as yourself. But for the grace of God, their go I." Thanks
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Thank you
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ok
Comment from Karen B.
Such a sad story, and especially as I reached the end and realized it was your father. You've written a powerful account of his life and of those who are afflicted with mental illness. I agree with you, we need to do much more to help the homeless and our veterans as well as others who are mentally ill. I've dealt with it with members of my family, to a lesser extent, and my heart goes out to you. Very well written.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Such a sad story, and especially as I reached the end and realized it was your father. You've written a powerful account of his life and of those who are afflicted with mental illness. I agree with you, we need to do much more to help the homeless and our veterans as well as others who are mentally ill. I've dealt with it with members of my family, to a lesser extent, and my heart goes out to you. Very well written.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2014
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2014
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Thank you
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This is beautifully written and a most powerful and compelling reading experience. I was not at all prepared for the ending and was quite stunned that this wonderful person who withered away before your eyes was your father. Your call to action is eloquently stated and your passion for the stigma to change for others in future shines through brilliantly. Well done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
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This is beautifully written and a most powerful and compelling reading experience. I was not at all prepared for the ending and was quite stunned that this wonderful person who withered away before your eyes was your father. Your call to action is eloquently stated and your passion for the stigma to change for others in future shines through brilliantly. Well done and I thank you so much for sharing this with me.
Comment Written 26-May-2014
reply by the author on 26-May-2014
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Thank you
Comment from words
powerfully evocative write.
Tight and taunt prose.
Love your descriptions .... you bring you character into full relief.
Your last sentence reveal is a stunner.
Well done.
Hugs,d
reply by the author on 25-May-2014
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powerfully evocative write.
Tight and taunt prose.
Love your descriptions .... you bring you character into full relief.
Your last sentence reveal is a stunner.
Well done.
Hugs,d
Comment Written 25-May-2014
reply by the author on 25-May-2014
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Thank you