Sonnets
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "To Fill 'Til Full"A collection of sonnets
24 total reviews
Comment from NicciFaye
I enjoyed your author notes..very funny and humbling.
The poem is expectionally written and told. You've created a masterful work of art in words with this crown of heroic sonnets that I dearly enjoyed reading and glad I had the pleasure to stumble upon. Truly a mighty fine write of poetry!
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I enjoyed your author notes..very funny and humbling.
The poem is expectionally written and told. You've created a masterful work of art in words with this crown of heroic sonnets that I dearly enjoyed reading and glad I had the pleasure to stumble upon. Truly a mighty fine write of poetry!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
I LOVE THE SONNET. I love the story of Gods glorious creations. I also like the part where man did not do so good. You treat mankind kindly. Great work.
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I LOVE THE SONNET. I love the story of Gods glorious creations. I also like the part where man did not do so good. You treat mankind kindly. Great work.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This is a surprise. Wow. It is so coherent and perfectly written. I must say that there is so much about the nature of ma that I agree with here. As complex as the language is, the understanding is not difficult. Thr flow is excellent and there were no awkward lined. Justcwonderful. Your best. NG
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This is a surprise. Wow. It is so coherent and perfectly written. I must say that there is so much about the nature of ma that I agree with here. As complex as the language is, the understanding is not difficult. Thr flow is excellent and there were no awkward lined. Justcwonderful. Your best. NG
Comment Written 08-Apr-2014
Comment from SLHarper
This is heroic, indeed! I know you don't need false praise or patronizing -- you're way too secure for that! I won't lie -- you could do with a little once over from the SPAG Police -- but whether or not you have a few grammatical edits that need tending to is not the point of a review. This is an epic faith poem! Truthfully, I will never understand the appeal of the whole Noah story. God sets a double standard for humanity, who supposedly has been created in God's image. God can wipe out a world and it is justified, but we are slaves of the 10 Commandments, or bust... I get your point, though. We still worship ourselves and put ourselves at the center of the universe as if we were God, as if we actually could press the reset button on our existence. No. Only God can do that, for when we finally succeed at the ultimate "sin" of wiping out the world, and we will, only God will be able to fill that hole we leave behind til full, and with what...? God only knows. I appreciate your 90% iamb success! Truly, NO ONE, including Shakespeare, does it flawlessly, or if they do, they necessarily sacrifice content and depth for rhythm, and that is called a nursery rhyme. This is bold, picturesque, powerful, skilled writing! I refuse to nit pick, but would be happy to offer help with editing typos, if you're interested... Fabulous job, Mikey! Steph
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2014
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This is heroic, indeed! I know you don't need false praise or patronizing -- you're way too secure for that! I won't lie -- you could do with a little once over from the SPAG Police -- but whether or not you have a few grammatical edits that need tending to is not the point of a review. This is an epic faith poem! Truthfully, I will never understand the appeal of the whole Noah story. God sets a double standard for humanity, who supposedly has been created in God's image. God can wipe out a world and it is justified, but we are slaves of the 10 Commandments, or bust... I get your point, though. We still worship ourselves and put ourselves at the center of the universe as if we were God, as if we actually could press the reset button on our existence. No. Only God can do that, for when we finally succeed at the ultimate "sin" of wiping out the world, and we will, only God will be able to fill that hole we leave behind til full, and with what...? God only knows. I appreciate your 90% iamb success! Truly, NO ONE, including Shakespeare, does it flawlessly, or if they do, they necessarily sacrifice content and depth for rhythm, and that is called a nursery rhyme. This is bold, picturesque, powerful, skilled writing! I refuse to nit pick, but would be happy to offer help with editing typos, if you're interested... Fabulous job, Mikey! Steph
Comment Written 08-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2014
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Hi! Thank you so much. This is something I actually did work on. I worked and worked until I couldn't take it any more. Hahaha. There are several other metric patterns that are natural to me, trochaic for one. Iambic is the opposite of how I speak! So, God what a pain it is. They have so many rules to justify Shakespeare that it is bordering on comedy. Hell, "To be or not to be" is an exception. Help? Yes, please, help. Yes, I would like help. I need help. I can't reword another line. I don't know what possessed me to do this in the first place!!! I suppose my massive ego knowing that the sonneteers think that a free verser can't do it! That whole old testament is a bit chilling if you ask me. It wasn't a good time to be anything ending in "ite". Damn! Even the goats and sheep too! Anyway, thanks again. I skipped hundreds of responses to say hello. mikey
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You are so sweet. I actually wouldn't change any words in your poem... You just had a bunch of little nigglers, such as missing capitals after punctuation, apostrophe issues, once you wrote "your" instead of "you're." I figured, your eyes were probably crossed after you had worked so hard on this masterpiece. It makes perfect sense that you would miss the tiny typos, which I why I didn't hold it against you in the review. That's what editors are for! Anyway, thanks for making a point of responding. I imagine that after all that crazy hard work you did, the cookie-cutter, two-line responses probably felt like insults. You deserve better for your efforts! If you want to comb through and try to fix the little errors and then let me know to take a look again, I would be happy to do so!
By the way, I'm a natural free-verser, too. I can write a sonnet, but ultimately, I always end up undermining my own rhythm in order to say what I really want to say, whereas the "purists" (in my opinion, because nobody on this site is Shakespeare or Milton, for crying out loud!) tend to write drivel that happens to go, "da DUM, da DUM." Yeah, and your point is...? You rock, Mikey C!
Stephie
