Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Sophie and Andy"A collection of my poems
36 total reviews
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Steve,
Black humour though it is, it still raised a deep chuckle from me. Brilliant lead to the punch line, in your inimitable rhyme and metre.
Regards
Reg
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Dear Steve,
Black humour though it is, it still raised a deep chuckle from me. Brilliant lead to the punch line, in your inimitable rhyme and metre.
Regards
Reg
Comment Written 17-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Reg
I got the idea for the story when thinking of entering the 100 word dash, but then the contest filled up before I could save a place, so I versified it instead. Would have made a good ultra-short, though.
Steve
Comment from mfowler
Talk about "all black" humour. Your poem is delightfully quirky, very well written and highly entertaining. I see where you got the inspiration from; Specsavers; we've got them here. Goes to show, there's inspiration for writing a poem, right before our eyes.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Talk about "all black" humour. Your poem is delightfully quirky, very well written and highly entertaining. I see where you got the inspiration from; Specsavers; we've got them here. Goes to show, there's inspiration for writing a poem, right before our eyes.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you - yes I've discovered there are SpecSavers with humorous ads around the world - well, the proper English-speaking world anyway.
Steve
Comment from Debra White
Hi Steve, this is tragic and funny all rolled into one - nicely penned with superb rhyme and meter.
We have Specsavers here too... funny adverts, great deals (I use them myself!) Have you seen the one with the vet and the fur hat when he mistakes it for a flat-lining cat?!.... Uh! I'm easily amused!)
Loved the poem, kindest regards as always, Debs x
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Hi Steve, this is tragic and funny all rolled into one - nicely penned with superb rhyme and meter.
We have Specsavers here too... funny adverts, great deals (I use them myself!) Have you seen the one with the vet and the fur hat when he mistakes it for a flat-lining cat?!.... Uh! I'm easily amused!)
Loved the poem, kindest regards as always, Debs x
Comment Written 17-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Deb
Nope, I'm discovering that different countries get different SoecSavers ads...
... or maybe we'll get to see that one later.
Steve
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Ouch! That's my emotional reaction to this tragic ending. I only like happy endings, so you bummed me out. But you did it with a very well-written poem, so you get the full five stars. :)
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Ouch! That's my emotional reaction to this tragic ending. I only like happy endings, so you bummed me out. But you did it with a very well-written poem, so you get the full five stars. :)
Comment Written 17-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Sorry!
She didn't really die, he saved her life and they lived happily ever after.
How's that?
Steve
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Now THAT would be a great ending!
Comment from krys123
A well written poem with your rhymes so well done that neither of your rhymes were forced, labored or strained. A sad poem where she indeed had understood she wouldn't have fallen to her death. An interesting concept and topic which is very enjoyable to read. Your rhythm and tempo was done so well that it made it so easy for me to read and understand your poem so easily . Thank you so much for sharing this with others including myself. May you have a good one and God bless.
Alex/AK
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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A well written poem with your rhymes so well done that neither of your rhymes were forced, labored or strained. A sad poem where she indeed had understood she wouldn't have fallen to her death. An interesting concept and topic which is very enjoyable to read. Your rhythm and tempo was done so well that it made it so easy for me to read and understand your poem so easily . Thank you so much for sharing this with others including myself. May you have a good one and God bless.
Alex/AK
Comment Written 17-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Krys.
Steve
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You are so welcome
Comment from 24chas
I really enjoyed this piece. I love black comedy and this was a perfect example. Also, the rhyme scheme was perfect as was the flow. Nice job.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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I really enjoyed this piece. I love black comedy and this was a perfect example. Also, the rhyme scheme was perfect as was the flow. Nice job.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from SLHarper
Oh, how horribly and wonderfully gruesome! Vanity will certainly be the downfall of us all -- for some, it's sooner than later... The trick is surviving teenage-hood long enough to develop some executive functioning and higher reasoning skills to override the hormones. You could have this poem printed up for Specsavers in the style of an eye-chart. I think it's a cool idea! Good luck with your venture! Steph
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Oh, how horribly and wonderfully gruesome! Vanity will certainly be the downfall of us all -- for some, it's sooner than later... The trick is surviving teenage-hood long enough to develop some executive functioning and higher reasoning skills to override the hormones. You could have this poem printed up for Specsavers in the style of an eye-chart. I think it's a cool idea! Good luck with your venture! Steph
Comment Written 16-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Steph
Like the eye-chart idea
Steve
Comment from Gloria ....
Oh my land, what a poem, Steve. Eeep, I'd say it's a tad risky jumping into a river that's all dried up. I kept thinking it was a HUGE canyon type river too, so my imagination was running away with me. Course the poem is in perfect form and meter.
Exceptional.
Gloria
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Oh my land, what a poem, Steve. Eeep, I'd say it's a tad risky jumping into a river that's all dried up. I kept thinking it was a HUGE canyon type river too, so my imagination was running away with me. Course the poem is in perfect form and meter.
Exceptional.
Gloria
Comment Written 16-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Gloria.
Now that would have been silly jumping into a deep canyon!
Steve
Comment from Loren (7)
This was a fun read, a little sad, of course. It's interesting where we get our inspirations at times, but if they work, then claim them to expand and share them with others who would not have heard it otherwise.
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
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This was a fun read, a little sad, of course. It's interesting where we get our inspirations at times, but if they work, then claim them to expand and share them with others who would not have heard it otherwise.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Loren
Just a little black humour....
Steve
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Made me laugh out loud, Steve. You really should send this to Specsavers. Wonderfully written with just enough suspense and teenage angst. Outstanding. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
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Made me laugh out loud, Steve. You really should send this to Specsavers. Wonderfully written with just enough suspense and teenage angst. Outstanding. :) Nancy
Comment Written 16-Jan-2014
reply by the author on 19-Jan-2014
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Thanks, Nancy.
My wife points out that it is probably a bit dark for Specsavers and they probably have to beware of references to suicide etc...
I enjoyed writing it though. The 'story' came to mind for one of those 100 word dash things, but the contest filled up before I booked a place, so I versified it instead.
Steve
