Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

Doors are locked
Windows air-tight
Fears from within
Demons are freed
****
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thank you, Charlie, I appreciate it. I'm gonna' need it, LOL!

reply by c_lucas on 21-Nov-2013

You're welcome.

Comment from Petriesan

Excellent

the prompt was for "her" door, not "the" SO, I will have to consider how to vote more. I think I will just assume it was "she"

but this is a very good poem. It never loses its way to the very end.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thank you, Pertisan, and you're absolutely right, it is a "she" The explanation of the poem , right under the name, says it all. "She just let him right in..."

Thanks, my friend, much appreciated!

Comment from allborn66

Excellent

This is a very interesting poem. I love the flow that it has. The rhyming scheme is good. I don't think locking the door will keep him out though.
Barbara

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Nope, you are right about that, Barbara!

Thanks very much for reading and reviewing this for me...

Comment from danddanthnyt

Excellent

This poem is excellently depicting an eerie sense of another presence behind the other side of the door; "There's something out there wanting in, the forlorn soul it wants is mine." A haunting mood fills this composition, "It's talons rake along the floor, just beneath the dusty jamb." You've used a good selection od deep words conveying a mystery lurking behind that 'unlocked door.' I would remember to lock the door after reading this piece.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thanks you very much, danddanthnyt, I really appreciate you taking a look at this for me, and for your kind words and opinions of it. Much obliged!

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

Nice story/poem, mystery writer. The usual scene, the woman/girl/babysitter alone in the house. Something stalking. Thank you for sending her neither to the basement, nor the attic. Jaime Lee Curtis always looked good in this role.
Well done.

Chalk to this up to an old school kind of guy; I don't know how I feel about the multi-media presentation. Something for me to think about.

Peace, Lee

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thanks, Lee, I'm very grateful for your opinions, and the fine review.

The multi-media presentation, I've found, is a love it, or hate it type of thing. Poetic purists don't care too much for it, and the younger, more technologically advanced readers of today absolutely adore it. Just thinking outside that proverbial "box" a bit, my friend...

reply by humpwhistle on 21-Nov-2013

Yeah, I really do get it, and I'm not averse.
But I am old school. How I railed against MTV and VH1 when music became all about the video.

I never thought of creative writing as the 'proverbial box' before.
Aren't 'writing' and 'producing' two distinct avenues of endeavor? Certainly many, as you, are accomplished at both, but can a reviewer on a writing site separate one from the other?

I'm not being argumentitive, Dean, and I don't dislike your productions (though I do turn off my speakers--I'm one of those who can't read with distractions). I'm merely wondering aloud if there will be a place here for a simple writer going forward.

Look what happened to music when people started watching instead of listening.

Lee

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

I agree, Lee, and now look what MTV has become. Nothing more that a vulgar rant on a number of topics, and very little in the way of music at all.

I do write from time to time without the visuals and all of the others bells and whistles. "Bug Problem" had no sounds, nor fancy moving pictures. I focus on the writing first and foremost. That is the "meat" of what I want to put out there. The other stuff, that's just the gravy. When you submit manuscripts for publication as often as I do, you realize it can't be accompanied by any sorts of multi-media presentations. It must be able to stand on it's own two feet, if you will. The only thing that impresses an editor is the writing, nothing more. Courier New, or Times New Roman font, double-spaced, no larger than twelve, perhaps fourteen point.

But, here, on FS...eh, not so much.

reply by humpwhistle on 21-Nov-2013

Aye, Dean. but MTV forever changed the way music is written, produced, packaged and sold. And I don't believe for the better.

I appreciate you hearing me out. I know you know about writing, and what's important to editors and publishers. But a lot of younger site members don't. I'm not trying to dump 'role model' on you, but the truth is, your are one.

You're a good writer who I admire.

Peace, Lee

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

And I admire your skill and talent very much too, Lee. You have a wonderful imagination, and are very a gifted writer. I liken you to a modern-day Samuel Clemons, a true teller of stories.

reply by humpwhistle on 21-Nov-2013

Thanks. And I promise I'll leave the 'production' thing where it sits. I just wanted to speak it out on time. L

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

No problem, Lee, I appreciate you taking the time to let me know how you felt about it. Everyone has their own opinions where it's concerned, and I certainly respect their opinions.

Comment from Okiedokie

Excellent

Excellent! You followed the prompt instructions, built upon it, and the result was a very good poem. The words make one think, trying to anticipate the end. Your rhyme pattern and meter are good throughout. Keep up the good work.--Okiedokie

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thanks a bunch, Okiedokie! I am very pleased to know that you enjoyed it!
Have yourself a great evening...

Comment from goompa

Excellent

A great job! I know because the words, picture and sound managed to scare the hell out of me. That's quite a talent. Thanks for the great work!

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thanks for reading & reviewing it for me, goompa. Much appreciated!

Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens

Excellent

The sound effects were so scary on this one that I could hardly finish reading it. !!!!!!!!!!!! You did a great job with the prompt. Then you made it clear that just not locking the door would not keep the Reaper out. Good luck, Carolyn

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thanks a bunch, notesandmore, I really appreciate that!

Comment from nelliesellie

Excellent

I love the graphics. I love the poem. He came for you. You would have had only one more day, if she locked the door. Guess you couldn't Blame her too much. Like your notes said, You will get you. Good luck with the contest. Great work.

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thanks, nelliesellie, I really appreciate that! I'm gonna need all the luck I can get, LOL!

Thanks, again.

Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

excellent use of abab rhyming including proximate rhyme in times/mine
I love the sound effects in this one LOL
great atmosphere of impending doom
great alliteration in wretched wraith
and in come to claim
Brooke :-)

 Comment Written 21-Nov-2013

---

reply by the author on 21-Nov-2013

Thanks for checking it out for me, Brooke! I really appreciate that.