Free Verse Collection 2
Viewing comments for Prologue "Tide"selections for seal submission
27 total reviews
Comment from ronnie k
A wonderful poem, this poem read itself from the first line I was amazingly caught up with reading into the poem as if it was a narrative, thank you.
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2013
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A wonderful poem, this poem read itself from the first line I was amazingly caught up with reading into the poem as if it was a narrative, thank you.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2013
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what wonderful praise. thank you very much. big smile!
Comment from NightWriter
Tide is a captivating, fast read poem. Lots of short phrases that keep the reader's mind going. Well stated and true. Interesting ending.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Tide is a captivating, fast read poem. Lots of short phrases that keep the reader's mind going. Well stated and true. Interesting ending.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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thank you. this is one that is really my style and written for me and not trying to impress or please anyone. so I was a little reluctant to expose it (and myself) here. you put my mind at ease and encourage me greatly. :) I even made a computer smile!
Comment from Lylise
Michael, I read this through many times and finally your words clicked into place. I appreciate writers who make me think. This free verse is very unique and covers a lot of ground but it does so eloquently and with a smooth cadence. ...mistaking support for an embrace... is brilliant and ...I think it has something to do with the tide... knocked me out. This is very well written and you definitely have your own style which is essential here. Well done. Lynda
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Michael, I read this through many times and finally your words clicked into place. I appreciate writers who make me think. This free verse is very unique and covers a lot of ground but it does so eloquently and with a smooth cadence. ...mistaking support for an embrace... is brilliant and ...I think it has something to do with the tide... knocked me out. This is very well written and you definitely have your own style which is essential here. Well done. Lynda
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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thank you so much. I get a little anxious when I submit something that is really "me". I am pretty good at nature and standard fare. but, this is really me just throwing it out there. I am most compelled to write like this and I appreciate you taking the time to consider it. very encouraging and validating. big sheepish smiles!
Comment from Zue65
Well love is not always a bed of roses it has to pass through the test and the trials will make the lovers strong if they passed the test. The last lines are best, "really we just got caught up in the bottleneck,and why we traveled there we will never know, I think it has something to do with the tide." Thanks for sharing, God bless.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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Well love is not always a bed of roses it has to pass through the test and the trials will make the lovers strong if they passed the test. The last lines are best, "really we just got caught up in the bottleneck,and why we traveled there we will never know, I think it has something to do with the tide." Thanks for sharing, God bless.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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thank you for this great review. I personally liked this one myself so, I was hoping it would be well received. big smile!
Comment from Domino 2
I think this poem would benefit enormously if split up into random separate verses at dramatic points. This would allow the reader to pause and contemplate.
I'd also suggest deleting the last 2 lines which would leave a more dramatic and thought-provoking ending.
You produce some excellent visuals here, which proves your prowess at poetic feelings, observation and expression.
Cheers, Ted
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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I think this poem would benefit enormously if split up into random separate verses at dramatic points. This would allow the reader to pause and contemplate.
I'd also suggest deleting the last 2 lines which would leave a more dramatic and thought-provoking ending.
You produce some excellent visuals here, which proves your prowess at poetic feelings, observation and expression.
Cheers, Ted
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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this is a very thoughtful review. thank you. in the real world I do have this formatted completely differently. but, either I am unable to or the mechanism here won't let me submit it any other way except to add some more spacing. most of my poems are like outlines with the lines separated by indenting them. Good idea about the last two lines. I will think about it. it wouldn't be the first time that I have spoken the obvious and not trusted the reader. haha
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I'm a computer tech dunce, but to create line gaps is easy - unless I misunderstand your problem.
Just click mouse at end of the line and then press 'enter' on keyboard. This will drop the next line one space.
Thanks for your gracious reply.
Ted
Comment from Ekim777
This poem is a strange mix of elements, sensual, visual images under cover of the dark universe, and made animate by the wonder of an innocent bystander; our poet. And what is the message, reflected everywhere. Maybe we need relate to each other with some kind of meaning because that is all we can do. I must ask, what has anything to do with the tide? -Ekim7777
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
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This poem is a strange mix of elements, sensual, visual images under cover of the dark universe, and made animate by the wonder of an innocent bystander; our poet. And what is the message, reflected everywhere. Maybe we need relate to each other with some kind of meaning because that is all we can do. I must ask, what has anything to do with the tide? -Ekim7777
Comment Written 20-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
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Thank you for taking the time to consider this in depth. Your review is greatly appreciated and helpful.
Comment from CR Delport
Yeah, funny enough, without the moon, life on earth would not be the same. There would be no seasons, no tide and no romantic walks in the moonlight. Thanks for sharing this well written poem.
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reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
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Yeah, funny enough, without the moon, life on earth would not be the same. There would be no seasons, no tide and no romantic walks in the moonlight. Thanks for sharing this well written poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2013
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Yep. I'm a big moon fan especially as I get older and look so much better in its more favorable lighting hahaha. Thank you for the kind words and thoughts.