The Boat
A 5-7-5 poetry contest entry.214 total reviews
Comment from DRG24
Interesting 5-7-5 that shows a lot about the boat and questions in life! I feel like this poem is a timeless classic!!!!!!!!!!!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Interesting 5-7-5 that shows a lot about the boat and questions in life! I feel like this poem is a timeless classic!!!!!!!!!!!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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A timeless classic? Perhaps one day! :P I guess we both can hope.
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good morning, Poet
I enjoyed your 5-7-5 this morning. It is a good, contemplative poem of how one's journey in life is, at times, perplexing. The end rhyming adds to the quality of the read. I admire how you wrote to poem so it didn't read like a telegraph message--something which most 5-7-5's wind up being. Well done, and best luck to you in the contest.
Ray
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Good morning, Poet
I enjoyed your 5-7-5 this morning. It is a good, contemplative poem of how one's journey in life is, at times, perplexing. The end rhyming adds to the quality of the read. I admire how you wrote to poem so it didn't read like a telegraph message--something which most 5-7-5's wind up being. Well done, and best luck to you in the contest.
Ray
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much and that was my exact mission, to not be BLAND! :P I hate bland and this is the only poem they allowed me to write so far, (not a member yet)
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Thank you very much and that was my exact mission, to not be BLAND! :P I hate bland and this is the only poem they allowed me to write so far, (not a member yet)
Comment from KG Writes
Gabrieltheswifter Very clever verse. A lot said in a few short words. The title alone is thought provoking. Well done. Best of luck in the contest. KG Writes
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Gabrieltheswifter Very clever verse. A lot said in a few short words. The title alone is thought provoking. Well done. Best of luck in the contest. KG Writes
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for you comment and help.
Comment from pattipac
Excellent word choice and artwork sends a message of a reality check for those who make wrong choices,and then must deal with the consequences. Makes me mindful of our political leaders, and the debacle they have created with our government shutdown.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Excellent word choice and artwork sends a message of a reality check for those who make wrong choices,and then must deal with the consequences. Makes me mindful of our political leaders, and the debacle they have created with our government shutdown.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Lol! Yes! I love how many views people have seen in my work! :P thank you for this unique take on "The Boat"
Comment from Treischel
An excellent 5-7-5 formatted poem that is true to the protocol yet intriguing in its conceptual premise. A profound query the we can all identify with. I like the poetic imagery of the boat as well as it ironic juxtaposition of the words "stone still", not to mention its alliteration. Nicely done!
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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An excellent 5-7-5 formatted poem that is true to the protocol yet intriguing in its conceptual premise. A profound query the we can all identify with. I like the poetic imagery of the boat as well as it ironic juxtaposition of the words "stone still", not to mention its alliteration. Nicely done!
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for you review and complements! They are appreciated.
Comment from Meta4ors
Gab,
Wow, I guess that I waded into the deep...I liked this very much and I also appreciate the background that you provided. So true, we go after things at times with so much energy and then like a sailBOAT we lose the wind and find ourselves standing still in search of a new direction. Excellent work! Please see my "Maestro" and "Soulmates or Cellmates" poems as I would greatly like to hear your reviews.
Best,
-meta
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Gab,
Wow, I guess that I waded into the deep...I liked this very much and I also appreciate the background that you provided. So true, we go after things at times with so much energy and then like a sailBOAT we lose the wind and find ourselves standing still in search of a new direction. Excellent work! Please see my "Maestro" and "Soulmates or Cellmates" poems as I would greatly like to hear your reviews.
Best,
-meta
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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I already saw soulmates or cellmates, but it isn't approved for reviewers that are not members I don't think.
Comment from zanya
Beautiful pic and a question fraught with indecision and doubt and one we all arrive at many times on our eartly journey.Pithy and thought-provoking.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Beautiful pic and a question fraught with indecision and doubt and one we all arrive at many times on our eartly journey.Pithy and thought-provoking.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much for your review and complements.
Comment from blaise007
Humans like to believe that they are in control till things go really wrong. The poem is deep and meaningful. Since life is an ocean one wouldn't like to steer wrongly, that moment of confusion one has to '' Stone-still on the pier''.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Humans like to believe that they are in control till things go really wrong. The poem is deep and meaningful. Since life is an ocean one wouldn't like to steer wrongly, that moment of confusion one has to '' Stone-still on the pier''.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Is there anything that needs work? (that's what four stars means) did you like? Thank you for your review, and I appreciate your comment. (the only reason why I mentioned it was because in your comment it looks like you would give a 5 star for no work needed.
Comment from Silent1rose
Very well written. Great imagery. It does leave the mind wandering of all the ways this poem could be interpreted. I had a good image in my head as well. Good luck with the contest. ~ Rose
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Very well written. Great imagery. It does leave the mind wandering of all the ways this poem could be interpreted. I had a good image in my head as well. Good luck with the contest. ~ Rose
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you very much Rose, I appreciate the review and the comments. And the well wishes!
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You're welcome :)
Comment from jaliscomel
I like the thought provoked by the poem, although the image of stone-still because stones sink. Perhaps becalmed might have been a better choice because it better reflects the boat/ocean idea. Not knowing how to steer suggests a randomness of life, even a failure to move in a desired direction.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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I like the thought provoked by the poem, although the image of stone-still because stones sink. Perhaps becalmed might have been a better choice because it better reflects the boat/ocean idea. Not knowing how to steer suggests a randomness of life, even a failure to move in a desired direction.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2013
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Thank you so much for the review and the big 6! :P I wanted to keep it stone-still because of the teeny bit of alliteration it offered.
