The Night
This poem describes the mysterious beauty and magical music of the night.139 total reviews
Comment from screamingcandle
I'm always up a stump when reviewing a piece this short. I like it, it's beautiful, but what more is there to say? Nice work and keep your eye to the moon.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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I'm always up a stump when reviewing a piece this short. I like it, it's beautiful, but what more is there to say? Nice work and keep your eye to the moon.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for your kind words.Appreciate it.
Comment from judiverse
This is a lovely presentation with the white on black. Your syllable count works out perfectly--5-7-5. "Melting" is interesting word choice, but it is apt. The last line, "Night sings lullaby" is a nice personification. The effect is soothing and gentle. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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This is a lovely presentation with the white on black. Your syllable count works out perfectly--5-7-5. "Melting" is interesting word choice, but it is apt. The last line, "Night sings lullaby" is a nice personification. The effect is soothing and gentle. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 02-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much Judi for your kind words.It means a lot.I appreciate it.
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You're so welcome. judi
Comment from wierdgrace
this is so beautiful, the image in my mind, is like the words in this poem, and the picture, well done, I loved it, I wish I could say so much in so little words as you have done here.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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this is so beautiful, the image in my mind, is like the words in this poem, and the picture, well done, I loved it, I wish I could say so much in so little words as you have done here.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review.I appreciate it a lot.
Comment from Joan E.
I relished your abundant use of personification and your dramatic presentation. You even included alliteration. You said a lot about the nightscape in your short poem. Best wishes in the contest. -Joan
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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I relished your abundant use of personification and your dramatic presentation. You even included alliteration. You said a lot about the nightscape in your short poem. Best wishes in the contest. -Joan
Comment Written 02-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for your lovely review.It means a lot.I appreciate it a lot.Thanks again.
Comment from heatherchill
Great 5-7-5 poem it flows nicely. I particularly enjoy the senile moon and night singing a lullaby. Very insightful an a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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Great 5-7-5 poem it flows nicely. I particularly enjoy the senile moon and night singing a lullaby. Very insightful an a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for your kind review..I am glad that you liked it.
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
A great picture to go with your words. Your 5-7-5 is succinct and conveys a very creative message. But I would suggest that you could fix the flow by changing lullaby to lullabies. It seems less stilted and less like Tonto's speaking. And current style does not have each line starting with a capital letter, regardless of the message. You have one sentence here and so "goes" can be lower case. It then would appear:
When the senile moon
goes on melting in the sky,
Night sings lullabies.
That said I do really like the image you have penned and the personification of the moon melting to the smooth serenade crooned by Night. - Wendy
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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A great picture to go with your words. Your 5-7-5 is succinct and conveys a very creative message. But I would suggest that you could fix the flow by changing lullaby to lullabies. It seems less stilted and less like Tonto's speaking. And current style does not have each line starting with a capital letter, regardless of the message. You have one sentence here and so "goes" can be lower case. It then would appear:
When the senile moon
goes on melting in the sky,
Night sings lullabies.
That said I do really like the image you have penned and the personification of the moon melting to the smooth serenade crooned by Night. - Wendy
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for your kind suggestion.I appreciate it a lot..Your suggestion and review means a lot..Thanks again.
Comment from Hitcher
I think you chose the perfect piece of artwork to compliment your cool little 5-7-5 poem friend, I wish you well in the voting booth, a contender me thinks :)
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
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I think you chose the perfect piece of artwork to compliment your cool little 5-7-5 poem friend, I wish you well in the voting booth, a contender me thinks :)
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for this lovely review..I appreciate it a lot.
Comment from Angel Blessings
Very simple , but meaningful verse. Liked the presentation, the colors, the meaning of your words.the picture was amazing as well. Thank you For sharing. Angel blessings
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
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Very simple , but meaningful verse. Liked the presentation, the colors, the meaning of your words.the picture was amazing as well. Thank you For sharing. Angel blessings
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
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Thank you for reading and reviewing the poem..
Comment from Christof McTarnahan
Nice poem. I truly enjoyed the flow and quick rhyme scheme. I liked how you called the moon senile.Thank you so much for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
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Nice poem. I truly enjoyed the flow and quick rhyme scheme. I liked how you called the moon senile.Thank you so much for sharing.
Comment Written 01-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for reviewing..I am glad that you enjoyed the poem.
Comment from EMB
Hmm. Now that's definitely a poetic notion--lunar senility. Haha! I still don't know what it could possibly mean, but I loved the sensation of trying to wrap my brain around it. :)
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
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Hmm. Now that's definitely a poetic notion--lunar senility. Haha! I still don't know what it could possibly mean, but I loved the sensation of trying to wrap my brain around it. :)
Comment Written 31-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing the poem.
