All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Not, Not, NOT!"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
51 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
love the family photo
good opening alliteration
I love the visual of the bubbled curls
you do a great job from writing this from a child's perspective as she talks herself out of being scared, sorta :-)
excellent use of onomatopoeia
and vivid descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
nostalgic and poignant, bound to resonate with many readers who cherish such memories and feelings about their strong, protective dads :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
  |
love the family photo
good opening alliteration
I love the visual of the bubbled curls
you do a great job from writing this from a child's perspective as she talks herself out of being scared, sorta :-)
excellent use of onomatopoeia
and vivid descriptive detail with strong sensory appeal
nostalgic and poignant, bound to resonate with many readers who cherish such memories and feelings about their strong, protective dads :-) Brooke
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
thx so much Brooke for your wonderful review - ONE of these days I really hope to do one of your classes. I just got my B&B renewal finalized today, so I actually now have my life back - and, hopefully, some sanity!
:)Sharyn
-
thx so much for a fabulously written review Brooke - I look forward to joining you for a class one of these days. I just got my B&B renewal out of the way today - final - they're out of my life FOREVER - so hello to sanity! (and hopefully, some time)! :)))S
-
I know what a headache that has been for you! Congratulations :-) And I do look forward to having you in class
-
And I look forward to the end of fifteen years of crappola Brooke, believe me! :)))S
Comment from Brumar97
Great build up in action. Great word choices. I loved the images you created with your words. Thank you for sharing:) WELL DONE!
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
 |
Great build up in action. Great word choices. I loved the images you created with your words. Thank you for sharing:) WELL DONE!
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
I'm so honored you enjoyed this one my dear - thank you very much for that wonderful SIX!
Blessings,
Sharyn
-
oh bless you for a marvelous six on this one my dear - I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)Sharyn
Comment from Patti R.
So often the Dads are our first heroes - everybody else in our lives after that needs to be that tall, that strong, that handsome, that smart...
Loved the photo! The way you've laid out this poem is delightful, tumbles and ebbs like the ocean's waves! I could hear the surf.
Fear and determination filter through. Courage is found in the grip of Dad!
Patti
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
|
So often the Dads are our first heroes - everybody else in our lives after that needs to be that tall, that strong, that handsome, that smart...
Loved the photo! The way you've laid out this poem is delightful, tumbles and ebbs like the ocean's waves! I could hear the surf.
Fear and determination filter through. Courage is found in the grip of Dad!
Patti
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
hey Patti - thank you very much my dear ... been so crazy busy these last couple of weeks - only just tonight putting my head up for air!
:)S
-
yes they are, Patti. I'll always remember him.
:)S
Comment from Gungalo
but I'm not scared
I'm not
I'm not
I'm NOT!
'cos
my dad
is holding
my
hand
And that's all you need to be safe. Wonderful words for a beautiful write. Sort of nostalgic, eh?
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
|
but I'm not scared
I'm not
I'm not
I'm NOT!
'cos
my dad
is holding
my
hand
And that's all you need to be safe. Wonderful words for a beautiful write. Sort of nostalgic, eh?
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
oh ya think? :)))
-
Oh yeah.
-
oh ya think?? :)
-
Twice girl? OOh I think so.
-
twice? Good Lord! This site has a mind of its own!!!!
-
Yeah it sure does girl.
-
either that or I shouldn't have had that glass of red ...
-
Nah one glass isn't gonna do that. LOL
-
OKAY - hic! on my way downstairs ...
-
For another? Heehe.
Comment from lorijean
All that bravado from the child, plus the safety of holding dad's hand so sweet, well written is just jumps off the page, a pleasure to read.....
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
|
All that bravado from the child, plus the safety of holding dad's hand so sweet, well written is just jumps off the page, a pleasure to read.....
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
thx so much lj! :)S
-
thx so much lj! :)S
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
Good Morning, Sharyn
It is obvious that your acting and creative talents were already seed in your cute baby body. I bet that back there somewhere in that awesome mind of yours there are some memories of that very day this picture was made. I think this is a great write and that you have met the requirements of he prompt. Anyway, you get my vote. I enjoyed the read. Your fan, Bob
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
|
Good Morning, Sharyn
It is obvious that your acting and creative talents were already seed in your cute baby body. I bet that back there somewhere in that awesome mind of yours there are some memories of that very day this picture was made. I think this is a great write and that you have met the requirements of he prompt. Anyway, you get my vote. I enjoyed the read. Your fan, Bob
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
Bless you sweet Bob. And yes, I adored my dad - he was always a 'god' to me and I can still see him in the water ... how did you know that?
:)Sharyn
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
The words of a child venturing into the unknown is well told especially from the POV selected. I was afraid of the water too until 12 when my dad put me in a Navy life jacket and threw me into the sea off a dock. When I dog paddled ashore he took off the life jacket and threw me in again.
Excellent as usual.
Regards:
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
|
The words of a child venturing into the unknown is well told especially from the POV selected. I was afraid of the water too until 12 when my dad put me in a Navy life jacket and threw me into the sea off a dock. When I dog paddled ashore he took off the life jacket and threw me in again.
Excellent as usual.
Regards:
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
I'm thrilled that you loved this one Stephen! Bless you for that wonderful six! (I was always a terrible swimmer - the only one in my class who, when trying out for a 'safe swimmer's certificate' actually SANK in the deep end and the instructor had to dive in and rescue me! oh the mortification!)
:)S
-
Dear Sharyn: "Great memories are made of these" someone once said. You deserve the award. Original as always, you amaze me and inspire me. As such, I have written new 'stuff' for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.
Hugs: Steve C
Comment from Cornelius2000
This is great fun....my wife is not home right now, so I decided to read it out loud, loudly, here in my office where the computer lives. I think you've captured the essence of childhood very well. Nice job...I haven't entered this contest, so Good Luck! Dave
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
|
This is great fun....my wife is not home right now, so I decided to read it out loud, loudly, here in my office where the computer lives. I think you've captured the essence of childhood very well. Nice job...I haven't entered this contest, so Good Luck! Dave
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
Bless you Dave - I see you got more votes than I did for the WORST C&W song ever dear! talent rising to the top, hmm???????
big smiles to you - you're a natural, as I knew you would be ... :)s
-
Hi Sharyn...entering contests has proven to be a humbling experience. I keep expecting to win....and mostly don't. I was very impressed with a couple of the C & W "worst" songs. Loved the line, "she was like a stone moving slowly through the urinary tract of my heart." Wished I had thought of that one. Hugs, Dave
Comment from yachtworknz
Great vision. On a mini keypad here so typos expected. The o e thought was to have the big big bigger go to capitals like later in the poem to show the site e change better. Loved the flow and kind of bounce of the piece
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
|
Great vision. On a mini keypad here so typos expected. The o e thought was to have the big big bigger go to capitals like later in the poem to show the site e change better. Loved the flow and kind of bounce of the piece
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
Thx so much Scott! I thought about it, but didn't want to OVER do the capitals ... :)S
Comment from Kiki12
Such a brave little tyke, how cute, I love how you matched the words to the child "gianter" that is precious, and the shouty cpas with the exclamation of bravery - great movement and onomatopoeia which is also very child-friendly. How special to find a photo of you and your dad, that must have made this an even more meaningful write (and emotional as well).
xx
Kiki
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
|
Such a brave little tyke, how cute, I love how you matched the words to the child "gianter" that is precious, and the shouty cpas with the exclamation of bravery - great movement and onomatopoeia which is also very child-friendly. How special to find a photo of you and your dad, that must have made this an even more meaningful write (and emotional as well).
xx
Kiki
Comment Written 08-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2013
-
yep - I adored him kiki - he was my God.
xxxx
:)S