Steve's Story-Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Fitting Torture"A collection of my poems
34 total reviews
Comment from Bellydanser
Nice one for the contest. I enjoyed and related to all of it. You have very nice rhythm and rhyme going throughout, and I like the inside view we get of that stray man 'lurking' in the department store. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Nice one for the contest. I enjoyed and related to all of it. You have very nice rhythm and rhyme going throughout, and I like the inside view we get of that stray man 'lurking' in the department store. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Cariboubill
This is so good! You have worked an interesting rhyme scheme into the poem and it just seems to roll along naturally. A situation that has been endured by most husbands. Very amusing.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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This is so good! You have worked an interesting rhyme scheme into the poem and it just seems to roll along naturally. A situation that has been endured by most husbands. Very amusing.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from steevie
The title in its self is a fine double entendre. Yes, I too have suffered at the hands of the 'fitting room blues'. Sitting looking forlorn as each time the lady emerges from the fitting room hoping that each time is the last.
A great post, my friend
smiles
steve
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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The title in its self is a fine double entendre. Yes, I too have suffered at the hands of the 'fitting room blues'. Sitting looking forlorn as each time the lady emerges from the fitting room hoping that each time is the last.
A great post, my friend
smiles
steve
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
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you're welcome
steve
Comment from BeasPeas
I admire so much those men who go shopping with their woman--but, as a woman, I confess--I wonder why a man would put up with such torture. You expressed so well in your terrific poem the frustration they must feel.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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I admire so much those men who go shopping with their woman--but, as a woman, I confess--I wonder why a man would put up with such torture. You expressed so well in your terrific poem the frustration they must feel.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Thank you, BP, for the review and all the stars.
Steve
Comment from SaraHLMarion
This really is almost publishable in some circles as it is beyond an urban rhyme scheme--the Nyurican aesthetic. The style of this wonderful poem was fun to read, and, in all honesty, some people are just too hard to predict and it may take them time to find right the clothing and the right coffee or even size of the coffee cup, but we love them still because often their hesistancy saves the world--and the coffee, and you, who are waiting for them.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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This really is almost publishable in some circles as it is beyond an urban rhyme scheme--the Nyurican aesthetic. The style of this wonderful poem was fun to read, and, in all honesty, some people are just too hard to predict and it may take them time to find right the clothing and the right coffee or even size of the coffee cup, but we love them still because often their hesistancy saves the world--and the coffee, and you, who are waiting for them.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Blimmin' heck, Sarah - you've swallowed the dictionary again! Nyurican aesthetic - I've googled it, but I'm still not sure I found the right reference especially since I'm neither frm NY or Puerto Rican....
Better create a new category - the Nuzild aesthetic.
Thanks for the lovely review and the six stars - much appreciated.
Steve
Comment from mauial
Love it cause I can identify with everthing within your poem as I am sure every man on this site can. It's a really fast paced poem and witty too.
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Love it cause I can identify with everthing within your poem as I am sure every man on this site can. It's a really fast paced poem and witty too.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Kingsland
If you didn't lie much. When you get married, that will change. Because if you don't lie to her on most of those silly questions. You'll be in the dog house most of the time, or on the couch. I enjoyed reading this very whimsical piece of poetic art...
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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If you didn't lie much. When you get married, that will change. Because if you don't lie to her on most of those silly questions. You'll be in the dog house most of the time, or on the couch. I enjoyed reading this very whimsical piece of poetic art...
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
I love how well this one reads without a breath - your use of enjambment aids in that a lot. Great rhyme, wonderful humor.
I was laughing my head off at the thought you were suspected of being a dirty old man looking at the bottoms of women in the dressing room - the loiterer in the lingerie line is precious LOL
Reminds me of my son when he and his sister were teens and he would beg me not to ask him to come to the mall with us :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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I love how well this one reads without a breath - your use of enjambment aids in that a lot. Great rhyme, wonderful humor.
I was laughing my head off at the thought you were suspected of being a dirty old man looking at the bottoms of women in the dressing room - the loiterer in the lingerie line is precious LOL
Reminds me of my son when he and his sister were teens and he would beg me not to ask him to come to the mall with us :-) Brooke
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Ah, yes, that's another form of torture...
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from hurkad
I did manage to read it in one go and I thought it was fantastic!! I do not think any man enjoys shopping according to my knowledge:-)
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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I did manage to read it in one go and I thought it was fantastic!! I do not think any man enjoys shopping according to my knowledge:-)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Thank you.
You may take a breath now.
Steve
Comment from Ekim777
I'm a slow reader but I'll take you on. I don't know many women who take the fast line even to surfeit their desires. I can understand that they are less preoccupied with time than we sterner men folk. Our poet has found his voice but how well does he know women. They do have minds of their own, you know and deeper feelings than us men. I like your sense of humor. -Ekim777
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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I'm a slow reader but I'll take you on. I don't know many women who take the fast line even to surfeit their desires. I can understand that they are less preoccupied with time than we sterner men folk. Our poet has found his voice but how well does he know women. They do have minds of their own, you know and deeper feelings than us men. I like your sense of humor. -Ekim777
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 02-Mar-2013
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Thank you!
Steve