All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Can We Wish For Rain?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
56 total reviews
Comment from Opal H.
Nice ... Yeah sometimes when the love dries up it's not anger or any other such dramatic feeling against a loved one but simply a lack of feeling. Good luck in the contest!!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Nice ... Yeah sometimes when the love dries up it's not anger or any other such dramatic feeling against a loved one but simply a lack of feeling. Good luck in the contest!!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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You've got it Opal - thx so much for reviewing, my dear! :)Sharyn
Comment from Robert Lee Brown
You have improved your skills in this Eleven77 poem form. Very great job you have done in creating this one. I love the imagery and rhyme. I get the feeling that you already know the answer to the question you asked so as to fit into the contest requirement. This is a very good entry and I vote for you to win. Your friend, Bob
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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You have improved your skills in this Eleven77 poem form. Very great job you have done in creating this one. I love the imagery and rhyme. I get the feeling that you already know the answer to the question you asked so as to fit into the contest requirement. This is a very good entry and I vote for you to win. Your friend, Bob
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Blessings to you, Bob for reading and for one of your wonderful sixes! Yes, this form is really interesting - it forces an economy of words (and you know me, I do like to spout off!) You definitely should try one of these - they're fun - especially when you play with enjambment. :)Sharyn
Comment from rama devi
What a wonderfully musical and unique form. Never heard of it, so thanks for the notes.
Well penned and extremely expressive with strong emotional overtones. A resonant work...heartfelt and poignant. Very sad!
Superb phonetics with consonance, assonance, rhyme and alliteration. Especially well done in these stanzas
screaming silence
parched, like desert, and
sucked dry
as sand-bleached bone
no tears to scald me,
as I
blindly walk now
through scorched, sun-seared days
alone
Potent poem!
Love and light,
rd
PS Leaving town for a week and will be off line.
Lots of Love,
rd
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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What a wonderfully musical and unique form. Never heard of it, so thanks for the notes.
Well penned and extremely expressive with strong emotional overtones. A resonant work...heartfelt and poignant. Very sad!
Superb phonetics with consonance, assonance, rhyme and alliteration. Especially well done in these stanzas
screaming silence
parched, like desert, and
sucked dry
as sand-bleached bone
no tears to scald me,
as I
blindly walk now
through scorched, sun-seared days
alone
Potent poem!
Love and light,
rd
PS Leaving town for a week and will be off line.
Lots of Love,
rd
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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thx for dropping in, rd! This is rather a fun form - you should try one! Where are you off to for the week?
:)S
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Delray beach-- hugs, rd
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:) I'm just starting to put together (or RE-assemble) my 2nd show ... so I'd love to send you a copy for editing etc - probably not for another month or so ... :)))) ???
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Sure dear. Anytime. I have a bunch of active clients right now and next month, but they send things chapter by chapter, so there is always room in between for more work. Looking forward to it, as I enjoy working with you, dear friend. Love, rd
Comment from elliejean
I love the poem. I love the picture. Loss of love can make you feel out of control. Rain would be great. It will let you breathe. You will remember how you got this way. Time to move on and find true love. Great work.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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I love the poem. I love the picture. Loss of love can make you feel out of control. Rain would be great. It will let you breathe. You will remember how you got this way. Time to move on and find true love. Great work.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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You understand this one very well elliejean - thank you so much! :)Sharyn
Comment from Connie C
What an amazing poem this is as you wish for love to return.
I love the references to the parched desert and how you might
wish for rain or for love to return. The part that starts with
"the screaming silence parched . . ." is my favorite--such great
imagery here. My best to you in the contest.
Connie
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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What an amazing poem this is as you wish for love to return.
I love the references to the parched desert and how you might
wish for rain or for love to return. The part that starts with
"the screaming silence parched . . ." is my favorite--such great
imagery here. My best to you in the contest.
Connie
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Bless you, Connie - what a lovely "sixer" to go with my morning coffee today. Thank you so much for reading and enjoying!
Best wishes
Sharyn
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You have mastered this art briliantly, Sharyn, this simply flows so smoothly down the page in such a delightful way.
I hope the rain came! xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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You have mastered this art briliantly, Sharyn, this simply flows so smoothly down the page in such a delightful way.
I hope the rain came! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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thx so much Sandra! :)Sharyn
Comment from Sararb
Very nicely written. I really enjoyed reading it. It is so very unique and shows talent. It flows well. I love this style of poetry. The rhyming words fit right in. Good luck in the contest. Sararb
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Very nicely written. I really enjoyed reading it. It is so very unique and shows talent. It flows well. I love this style of poetry. The rhyming words fit right in. Good luck in the contest. Sararb
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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oh you are busy today - thank you again my dear! :)Sharyn
Comment from God's Writer
A very sad poem my friend. I hope it is just a write and not the way things are. So pointed your beautiful lines as they tear at my heart. I guess the picture lends credence to the way I feel. Great write.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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A very sad poem my friend. I hope it is just a write and not the way things are. So pointed your beautiful lines as they tear at my heart. I guess the picture lends credence to the way I feel. Great write.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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I have my days, Erick ... I have my days my dear.
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from Bina1
Your description and rules leave me dizzy! Such a complicated write, your poem is lovely. Wishing for change, one little thing could make it all better. A fine entry, good luck!
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Your description and rules leave me dizzy! Such a complicated write, your poem is lovely. Wishing for change, one little thing could make it all better. A fine entry, good luck!
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Bless you, Bina - thank you so much!
:)Sharyn
Comment from Cariboubill
So well crafted! I love the way you broke your lines and stanzas to make the syllable count and rhyme come out right. The imagery is good...the parched condition of lack of communication. The final plea, "Can we wish for rain? don't say no." tugs at my heartstrings.
...Bill
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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So well crafted! I love the way you broke your lines and stanzas to make the syllable count and rhyme come out right. The imagery is good...the parched condition of lack of communication. The final plea, "Can we wish for rain? don't say no." tugs at my heartstrings.
...Bill
Comment Written 18-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2013
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Bless you for reading and for your magic six on this one Bill! So much appreciated!
Best wishes
Sharyn