All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Pineapple Paradise?"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
75 total reviews
Comment from Cumbrianlass
Oh, the harm we do to the planet and those creatures who share it with us. I love whales - think they're magnificent. The thought of them suffering in this way breaks my heart.
Very well done, Sharyn. Very creative. Very visual. Very moving.
Av
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Oh, the harm we do to the planet and those creatures who share it with us. I love whales - think they're magnificent. The thought of them suffering in this way breaks my heart.
Very well done, Sharyn. Very creative. Very visual. Very moving.
Av
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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thx so much Av - glad you enjoyed this somewhat interesting "abstract" prompt! :) S
Comment from squid152
I have heard of the Navy experiments in Hawaiian waters that have been killing whales. I never tried to grow a pineapple in Costa Mesa. Only thing I have had luck with is tobacco.-Gary
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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I have heard of the Navy experiments in Hawaiian waters that have been killing whales. I never tried to grow a pineapple in Costa Mesa. Only thing I have had luck with is tobacco.-Gary
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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yep - nasty! as is tobacco! :((((
Comment from Maureen's Pen
Hi Sharyn,
This is an amazing write girl. After reading your author notes and then back to your work it had even more impact.
Exceptional work as it impacted me. Especially the exploding sonar. Shame indeed.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Hi Sharyn,
This is an amazing write girl. After reading your author notes and then back to your work it had even more impact.
Exceptional work as it impacted me. Especially the exploding sonar. Shame indeed.
Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Bless you Maureen for your magic '6' - coming from you, it's worth at least a TEN! :)))))))))))
Comment from rjuselius
this is a thought-provoking and food for thought piece of poetic art! You've used metaphors well. the strucutre is interesting. the imagery is well waiting to paradise.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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this is a thought-provoking and food for thought piece of poetic art! You've used metaphors well. the strucutre is interesting. the imagery is well waiting to paradise.
thank you for sharing!
good luck in the contest!
rebekka x
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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thank you so much rebekka - this was an unusually interesting prompt to write for! :) Sharyn
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Sharyn,
OK, so I don't go for free verse, so this review has to tell the truth. Against my better will I found this fascinating and eminently readable, which comes I believe from its erudite language, vivid imagery and imaginative form. The final stanza in its Christmasy tree sort of shape ending with those last single word lines is quite brilliant.
Best regards
Reg
PS Don't expect such praise for every piece of free verse.LOL
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Dear Sharyn,
OK, so I don't go for free verse, so this review has to tell the truth. Against my better will I found this fascinating and eminently readable, which comes I believe from its erudite language, vivid imagery and imaginative form. The final stanza in its Christmasy tree sort of shape ending with those last single word lines is quite brilliant.
Best regards
Reg
PS Don't expect such praise for every piece of free verse.LOL
Comment Written 13-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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oooo aaaah I grovel at the feet of the master! You crack me up Reg! beastie! :))))))))))))))
Comment from l.raven
Ok Sharyn, When my head stops doing a full circle. I love the pineapple but hate the part about the whales. WOW!!You had to really put some thought into this one. A great write. Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Ok Sharyn, When my head stops doing a full circle. I love the pineapple but hate the part about the whales. WOW!!You had to really put some thought into this one. A great write. Linda xxoo
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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an abstract stream-of-consciousness kind of write Linda - a weird prompt, but I couldn't resist - and unfortunately the whale bit was true. :)S
Comment from doris1022
enjoyed the fast paced read and cute rhymes. paradise? indeed.
Hope is the grace and the eternal promise.
nicely written work.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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enjoyed the fast paced read and cute rhymes. paradise? indeed.
Hope is the grace and the eternal promise.
nicely written work.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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thank you Doris! :) Sharyn
Comment from Cornetist
Your poem is a study in contrasts. Light/dark - sweet/sour - good/evil...and, as in all contrasts, we must choose - What do you like? Which side are you on? Even in a forest of abstracts, there is a clarity of vision and, again, choices presented. Heads or tails? But, then, how many remember that the coin has an edge, which presents a third option.
I'm usually a bit averse to "shaped" poems because of the restrictions they put on the words. You handled this as well as one could!
Cornetist
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Your poem is a study in contrasts. Light/dark - sweet/sour - good/evil...and, as in all contrasts, we must choose - What do you like? Which side are you on? Even in a forest of abstracts, there is a clarity of vision and, again, choices presented. Heads or tails? But, then, how many remember that the coin has an edge, which presents a third option.
I'm usually a bit averse to "shaped" poems because of the restrictions they put on the words. You handled this as well as one could!
Cornetist
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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thx my dear! :) Sharyn
Comment from Patti R.
Owwww! The yellow hurts my eyes!!
Teasing o'course.
This is (as my kid would say) Epic! The lowly pineapple, the mighty whale, the stupid human beings!
Even without your notes, this poem made sense to me, and I don't even eat pineapple because it rots teeth! Too acidic for me...sweet, yes! but at a cost! Voila! You are an incredibly strange mind, one which I adore! and respect.
PR
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Owwww! The yellow hurts my eyes!!
Teasing o'course.
This is (as my kid would say) Epic! The lowly pineapple, the mighty whale, the stupid human beings!
Even without your notes, this poem made sense to me, and I don't even eat pineapple because it rots teeth! Too acidic for me...sweet, yes! but at a cost! Voila! You are an incredibly strange mind, one which I adore! and respect.
PR
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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Now I WARNED you to put on your "sunnies" now, didn't I?? So no sympathy from this quarter!!! Rather interesting prompt which I resisted quite strongly but then figured "oh what the hell" - let's see where the stream-of-consciousness goes ... interesting, hmm? strange? well see what happens when YOU think about a pineapple :)))))))))))
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You did warn me!! And I was too lazy to get up off the chair and get them! My own fault!
I over steamed some asparagus tonight - maybe asparagus will be the subject!
Abstract intimidates me.
Some days, like this one, I can't string more than 17 syllables together at a time!!
Luv ya, Shiny!
PR
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oh God - asparagus over-done would be dreadful ... my mind immediately goes soft, mushy, pee ew! shower hot tub bed zzzzz ... see how my mind works? he he he!
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Jeez, woman!
Soft and mushy straight to ..zzz! 'kay trying to stop laughing!
Truly, oddly, the kids all decided to try a few spears for the first time; I cringed, thinking NO, it should be tender crisp...don't try it this time...they'd always turned their noses up at it 'fore now. But hell on wheels if they all didn't have a few and enjoy it...what the?
Go to bed!
Comment from donaldww
You're so lucky to be able to grow your own pineapples. And to be surrounded by bleeding whales. I like your resolve that you're glad you traded in cities for white sand and drunks with their ghetto blasters on the beach.
(The beach is public property. Everyone is born equal.)
God is not planning to do any cleaning, any time soon, if ever. The cosmic pineapple gets that job.
I like the way you abstracted the pineapple and wove in the U.S. Navy.
Of course, your excellent notes spell it out. Without, I think I'd have gotten the pineapple, but the U.S. Navy I probably would have missed.
Good luck with the contest!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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You're so lucky to be able to grow your own pineapples. And to be surrounded by bleeding whales. I like your resolve that you're glad you traded in cities for white sand and drunks with their ghetto blasters on the beach.
(The beach is public property. Everyone is born equal.)
God is not planning to do any cleaning, any time soon, if ever. The cosmic pineapple gets that job.
I like the way you abstracted the pineapple and wove in the U.S. Navy.
Of course, your excellent notes spell it out. Without, I think I'd have gotten the pineapple, but the U.S. Navy I probably would have missed.
Good luck with the contest!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 12-Nov-2012
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2012
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stream-of-consciousness stuff isn't something we get a chance to do very much DW (and call it poetry!) - but who could resist? the navy ONLY came because of the WHALES who came because of the PINEAPPLE ... because because because ... :))))))))))))))