Poetry, Dreams In Motion.
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Memories"A collection of poetry.
44 total reviews
Comment from Cosette
This poem pulled me right in from the begining and took me through your thoughts in a clear, concise journey that I found full of profound insight. The only thing I questioned was your choice to use the word "tomorrow" in this line: ....all your bitter tomorrows. It felt like the word yesterday was needed there and it broke my concentration and the flow for me. Then when I got to your author's notes and saw you made a point of mentioning looking backwards...I scratched my head again. I'm not saying you are wrong in the words you chose for your own poem, it's just an observation on how it reads.
Good luck with this. You are a very talented writer.
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This poem pulled me right in from the begining and took me through your thoughts in a clear, concise journey that I found full of profound insight. The only thing I questioned was your choice to use the word "tomorrow" in this line: ....all your bitter tomorrows. It felt like the word yesterday was needed there and it broke my concentration and the flow for me. Then when I got to your author's notes and saw you made a point of mentioning looking backwards...I scratched my head again. I'm not saying you are wrong in the words you chose for your own poem, it's just an observation on how it reads.
Good luck with this. You are a very talented writer.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from CarolinasAngel
Yep.. They do get bigger, don't they! No matter how big they do get, they are always good! I think you are a very talented writer, I thank you for sharing that talent with us. Write on!
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Yep.. They do get bigger, don't they! No matter how big they do get, they are always good! I think you are a very talented writer, I thank you for sharing that talent with us. Write on!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2005
Comment from Eldora
A poem any mother would be proud of, as I'm sure your mother is proud of this one. There is a lovely flow to the words. Just two suggestions:
by gone [bygone]
hope filled promises [hope-filled promises]
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A poem any mother would be proud of, as I'm sure your mother is proud of this one. There is a lovely flow to the words. Just two suggestions:
by gone [bygone]
hope filled promises [hope-filled promises]
Comment Written 24-Feb-2005
Comment from JosieK
I liked your message here. It's as if you wrote it for several mothers, not just your own, which is to say you struck a chord in my mind. I really enjoyed the structure you put to this piece, it was different than anything I've read recently and was refreshing. Well done!
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I liked your message here. It's as if you wrote it for several mothers, not just your own, which is to say you struck a chord in my mind. I really enjoyed the structure you put to this piece, it was different than anything I've read recently and was refreshing. Well done!
Comment Written 24-Feb-2005
Comment from Lainee
Hi Ricouard,
I love this poem. It is inspiring and uplifting all the way through. Yes, memory defines our past and hopefully gives us knowledge for a better future.
Thankyou for sharing.
Goodluck,
Lainee :)
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Hi Ricouard,
I love this poem. It is inspiring and uplifting all the way through. Yes, memory defines our past and hopefully gives us knowledge for a better future.
Thankyou for sharing.
Goodluck,
Lainee :)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2005
Comment from Web Stailey
I liked this poem a lot. It had a lot of internal rhyming going on, and that is difficult to do throughout the poem. Many find they can do it on occassion, but few can do it as precisely and often as you did here. Great job.
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I liked this poem a lot. It had a lot of internal rhyming going on, and that is difficult to do throughout the poem. Many find they can do it on occassion, but few can do it as precisely and often as you did here. Great job.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2005
Comment from lilith_flower
Your poem was melancholy and emotional to me..and I read it with a sense of wonder. I really think you did an excellent job here...I like poems that make me think.
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Your poem was melancholy and emotional to me..and I read it with a sense of wonder. I really think you did an excellent job here...I like poems that make me think.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2005
Comment from manokid
Very nice poem, Ricouard, and packed with much to ponder. Life is indeed what we make it...but sometimes we try too hard making those memories. What I took from your work was that even in the seemingly mundane things of life there is much beauty and meaning.
manokid
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Very nice poem, Ricouard, and packed with much to ponder. Life is indeed what we make it...but sometimes we try too hard making those memories. What I took from your work was that even in the seemingly mundane things of life there is much beauty and meaning.
manokid
Comment Written 24-Feb-2005
Comment from mynerva
Man, Ricourad, you have written a complete book. You are writing as if you are a much older person. Where did you pick up all of this knowledge at your tender age? I loved the read all the way. You have thrown in some great advice for those that will follow along in your path. "Yesterday is in the past and the future is still far away. Living is for today." Great story.
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Man, Ricourad, you have written a complete book. You are writing as if you are a much older person. Where did you pick up all of this knowledge at your tender age? I loved the read all the way. You have thrown in some great advice for those that will follow along in your path. "Yesterday is in the past and the future is still far away. Living is for today." Great story.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2005
Comment from Shari_K
This is a great poem with words that make you really think. You've twisted words in such a creative way, almost like a tongue twister ;-) Though it has powerful meaning and is smooth flowing and well structured.
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This is a great poem with words that make you really think. You've twisted words in such a creative way, almost like a tongue twister ;-) Though it has powerful meaning and is smooth flowing and well structured.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2005