The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "More Questions for Mom"A family learns their father is a serial killer
22 total reviews
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written and is much tighter than the original . There is a smooth flow of words and excellent description of the mother seeking a place to hide in her mind.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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This is very well written and is much tighter than the original . There is a smooth flow of words and excellent description of the mother seeking a place to hide in her mind.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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If I were her, I think I'd stay hidden.
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The mind has been known to force dangerous events into oblivion.
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Sometimes it is the only way to survive the trauma.
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I agree. Your rewrite is awesome.
Comment from adewpearl
She was very sweet, and I thought- add comma
typo - Her strange behavior hintged - hinted
My whole world was crumbling around me, and - add comma
You build tension and suspense well - what a sense of foreboding... Brooke
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reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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She was very sweet, and I thought- add comma
typo - Her strange behavior hintged - hinted
My whole world was crumbling around me, and - add comma
You build tension and suspense well - what a sense of foreboding... Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Mar-2012
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2012
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I think foreboding is an understatement. Wait until they translate the journal!