THE CHASE
The Devil must be killed to save mankind26 total reviews
Comment from Jean Lutz
Your words describe the spiritual warfare now going on for each soul. Ephesians Chapter 6 gives us the armor that we should put on before each battle.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011
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Your words describe the spiritual warfare now going on for each soul. Ephesians Chapter 6 gives us the armor that we should put on before each battle.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2011
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2011
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Thank you for your review and rating.
Comment from adewpearl
That is one high-impact, dramatic opening!!
It was obvious that Father Comstock did not recognize me - why at this point in the story do you shift to past tense?
I'm really hurt, Father C - add comma for direct address
This is one eerie story. You get inside the narrator's troubled mind and memories in a compelling way. I have a friend who is now in his 50's who was abused by a priest when he was an altar boy - it impacted the rest of his life in so many ways. You explain well how hurtful this is for the rest of a person's lifetime. Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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That is one high-impact, dramatic opening!!
It was obvious that Father Comstock did not recognize me - why at this point in the story do you shift to past tense?
I'm really hurt, Father C - add comma for direct address
This is one eerie story. You get inside the narrator's troubled mind and memories in a compelling way. I have a friend who is now in his 50's who was abused by a priest when he was an altar boy - it impacted the rest of his life in so many ways. You explain well how hurtful this is for the rest of a person's lifetime. Brooke
Comment Written 30-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your review and rating. Also, suggested changes.
I will make revisions.
Comment from WilliamDeen
quit the program I needed to study./// quit the program because I needed to study. or quit the program, I needed to study
he is the Devil ///he was the Devil
Derby winner he would ///Derby winner. He would
into Boston, I begin///into Boston. I begin
"kill the Devil and save mankind./// need quotation marks after the period after mankind
GREAT story... could be the beginning to a great novella....
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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quit the program I needed to study./// quit the program because I needed to study. or quit the program, I needed to study
he is the Devil ///he was the Devil
Derby winner he would ///Derby winner. He would
into Boston, I begin///into Boston. I begin
"kill the Devil and save mankind./// need quotation marks after the period after mankind
GREAT story... could be the beginning to a great novella....
Comment Written 29-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your review and rating.
I have made revisions.
Thanks for your help.
Comment from sallyray
This is enlightening. I have read stories, know real people this has happened to. You story is so real. I hope that somewhere, somehow God will wipe out happenings like this. I am sure there are probably many young men who have felt that the priest was a devil in disguise but there are just as many good priests as well. Sometimes fiction is so near the truth that it is scary. Very good fictional description of something very real and problematic.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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This is enlightening. I have read stories, know real people this has happened to. You story is so real. I hope that somewhere, somehow God will wipe out happenings like this. I am sure there are probably many young men who have felt that the priest was a devil in disguise but there are just as many good priests as well. Sometimes fiction is so near the truth that it is scary. Very good fictional description of something very real and problematic.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your review and rating.
You are correct, a few bad lawyers, doctors, accountants, school teachers, ministers, scout masters, and parents are responsible.
Unfortunately a few bad Priests have hurt the church. Now we are more careful with out children. And then, we more on to domestic violence, and sexual harassment in the work place. We have a heavy burden, we must be diligent.
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It is sad, but writings like yours will help us tay on the right track and check!
Comment from Carolyn 12
You have superbly told the story of many needing help. Your author notes show you are saying there is a big problem and we need to do better by the children. I believe so as well and have for a long time.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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You have superbly told the story of many needing help. Your author notes show you are saying there is a big problem and we need to do better by the children. I believe so as well and have for a long time.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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Thank your for your review and rating.
Education has been one of our greatest failures.
We must educate our children to the reality of the world.
Comment from nomi338
What a story, I was totally engrossed in this story. This would make a tremendous movie with some fleshing out. The sad thing is that this story of abuse is played out far too many times. As a matter of fact, once is too much. This story was told with conviction and so much skill that I could see it as it unfolded, it was like watching a program on television or a movie screen. Wonderful job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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What a story, I was totally engrossed in this story. This would make a tremendous movie with some fleshing out. The sad thing is that this story of abuse is played out far too many times. As a matter of fact, once is too much. This story was told with conviction and so much skill that I could see it as it unfolded, it was like watching a program on television or a movie screen. Wonderful job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2011
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Thank you for your review and rating.
