Still A Rose
5-7-5 poetry26 total reviews
Comment from butterfly31
I agree . I think the flower does look even prettier in the rain. Great inspiration for a great haiku. I loved "soft raindrops gentle taunt". Well done.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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I agree . I think the flower does look even prettier in the rain. Great inspiration for a great haiku. I loved "soft raindrops gentle taunt". Well done.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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Thank you for this great encouraging review.
Comment from purrfect tale
This poem has a very nice feel to it. I really like the thought of the flower just smiling at the raindrops as if they were little kids who didn't know any better.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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This poem has a very nice feel to it. I really like the thought of the flower just smiling at the raindrops as if they were little kids who didn't know any better.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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That is a nice way to look at my poem, thanks so much for this review.
Comment from Ekim777
You are taking a terrible risk writing about Roses. I have written ten rose poems because my daughter's name is Rose or Vered in Hebrew. A Haiku is far more tricky than its 5-7-5 syllable scheme. Now let us tackle your poem with all due respect. The picture is important because it is the first thing that strikes our notice. Unfortunately, to my mind it is unrelated to your words. It seems that the rain has made it cresffallen which might just be my projection.
I would say; Pink petals droop as/Soft rain drops gently taunt it./ By saying gently taunt (the sentence seems unfinished.) "A crestfallen smile" Not one word in your last line is original. What is important in your three brief lines is that they must flow like music. Of course it is your poem, mine is just an opinion. - Ekim
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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You are taking a terrible risk writing about Roses. I have written ten rose poems because my daughter's name is Rose or Vered in Hebrew. A Haiku is far more tricky than its 5-7-5 syllable scheme. Now let us tackle your poem with all due respect. The picture is important because it is the first thing that strikes our notice. Unfortunately, to my mind it is unrelated to your words. It seems that the rain has made it cresffallen which might just be my projection.
I would say; Pink petals droop as/Soft rain drops gently taunt it./ By saying gently taunt (the sentence seems unfinished.) "A crestfallen smile" Not one word in your last line is original. What is important in your three brief lines is that they must flow like music. Of course it is your poem, mine is just an opinion. - Ekim
Comment Written 16-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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Thank you for reading and the review. I just thought the Rose of Sharon flower looked so beautiful in the rain...unaffected by raindrops. And I wanted to show contrast...yes it was drooping.. but had I said that it wouldn't have conflict/contrast. I know writing about roses is a challlenge. I thought my last line was original...I hadn't read one like it, but there must be one somewhere. Thanks.
Comment from Mr.muttley
This is yet another very good entry. It is going to be a tough contest to judge. I like what you project as the watered rose smiles with its loveliness, under the caress of the light rain. a very good poem with nice image. As I was reading it I couldn't help but wonder while looking at the picture, why not bowing instead of blowing? just the picture got me thinking that, nothing wrong as is, just a thought. I still love the poem and I wish you the best of luck
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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This is yet another very good entry. It is going to be a tough contest to judge. I like what you project as the watered rose smiles with its loveliness, under the caress of the light rain. a very good poem with nice image. As I was reading it I couldn't help but wonder while looking at the picture, why not bowing instead of blowing? just the picture got me thinking that, nothing wrong as is, just a thought. I still love the poem and I wish you the best of luck
Comment Written 16-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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This is a wonderful review and I appreciate this suggestion...may use later. I just wanted to show it was having fun when the rain came and continued being beautiful...just a mindset. I really appreciate that you took the time to have your own ideas about my poem, thank you:)
Comment from amada
Very lovely last line "loveliness just smiles." Your 5=7=5 poem has much grace and color. Pink petals blowing paints a great image. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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Very lovely last line "loveliness just smiles." Your 5=7=5 poem has much grace and color. Pink petals blowing paints a great image. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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Thank you so much, Amada. I like this review.
Comment from HAWordsmith
A lovely picture you have painted with your words, well-written and a pleasure to read. Thank you for the posting and many blessings.
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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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A lovely picture you have painted with your words, well-written and a pleasure to read. Thank you for the posting and many blessings.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2011
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Thank you so very much.
