Pursuit
Modern day tracker33 total reviews
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write with good a story line, I envey you, you have a vast country with subjects like the one you have wrote to wrie about. The hoses, the countryside, and the wild life. Well done.Mary
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
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A good write with good a story line, I envey you, you have a vast country with subjects like the one you have wrote to wrie about. The hoses, the countryside, and the wild life. Well done.Mary
Comment Written 11-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
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Hi Mary! Why don't you Google some areas that interest you? For me, just try to write about something like this? I will be happy to help you if you like! YOU can do it! I am always glad to see you here, reading and enjoying these little dittys. Love you!! Susan
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Thanks Susan, your help is really appreciated
Comment from Espresso momma
This was a fun read, leaves you wondering, but the cop needs to be able to say more in another chapter. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
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This was a fun read, leaves you wondering, but the cop needs to be able to say more in another chapter. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2011
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That's a thought. I should let him live to tell about his adventure.? Good idea Roberta. Thank you for this nice review! Hug....! Susan
Comment from Dave M
Susan,
This is an excellent story about a Western cop who took a chance and may or may not die from it. I enjoyed this post and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Susan,
This is an excellent story about a Western cop who took a chance and may or may not die from it. I enjoyed this post and couldn't find anything to criticize.
Dave
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Hi Dave. Thanks! As always, I am glad you enjoyed my efforts. ") Susan
Comment from WilliamDeen
You left me hanging! NO ending!!! It was a very intense story. It is written well and the dialogue seems real. I found NO grammatical errors.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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You left me hanging! NO ending!!! It was a very intense story. It is written well and the dialogue seems real. I found NO grammatical errors.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Thank you William. These sorts of stories are supposed to have a conclusion, but I wanted to leave that up to each reader? I sure love your review! Thanks! Susan
Comment from Spitfire
This is a gripping moment. Fantastic use of verb to capture the fear: clenched,oozed, gripped-just to name a few. Also noted the metaphor: fear bound him tighter than any rope or chain; the wind, a sly foe. Nice touch about the apple. And the ending leads the reader hanging just like the cop. This is the best entry I've read so far.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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This is a gripping moment. Fantastic use of verb to capture the fear: clenched,oozed, gripped-just to name a few. Also noted the metaphor: fear bound him tighter than any rope or chain; the wind, a sly foe. Nice touch about the apple. And the ending leads the reader hanging just like the cop. This is the best entry I've read so far.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Oh, thank you ... I had to work on changing some 'ing' words. Your encouragement is wonderful...I am really trying to do this right. Much harder than you think, too? Do you think the lack of dialogue is okay? So many think you must have lots of it? I respect your thoughts! S.
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How can you have dialogue when there is only one person? It's perfect as stands. I had no dialogue in Missing except for the daughter talking to herself and the mother at the end calling out for her daughter. Trust me, not all reviewers have the expertise to be one.
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Oh good. I am going to read Missing too asap. I really appreciate your input and you are right. It's so discouraging to have people not understand. Of course, I am amiss at times too! Thanks! HUG! s.
Comment from adewpearl
Compelling opening paragraph sets the stage and the tone well.
You've incorporated the required words seamlessly into your story. You get inside this marshall's thoughts and emotions so well as he feels his many regrets. A most effective ending to a well-written and riveting character-driven story. Brooke
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Compelling opening paragraph sets the stage and the tone well.
You've incorporated the required words seamlessly into your story. You get inside this marshall's thoughts and emotions so well as he feels his many regrets. A most effective ending to a well-written and riveting character-driven story. Brooke
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Hi Brooke! I had to remove several 'ing' words. Do you think this is a real flash? I always take your opinion to heart and appreciate this review deeply. Thank you again my friend. xoxo, Susan
Comment from Sasha
This is excellent. Personally, I don't mind no dialogue...I know it is frowned upon. But sometimes it is either not necessary of better without. Great work with this one and I wish you all the best in the contest too.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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This is excellent. Personally, I don't mind no dialogue...I know it is frowned upon. But sometimes it is either not necessary of better without. Great work with this one and I wish you all the best in the contest too.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Hi Sasha...Thanks for the back-up. I like 'getting into a characters head'...so to speak. This won't win tho, due to that fact. It's okay. I write how I write? LOL! Thanks again, your input is great. xoxo, susan
Comment from c_lucas
I was thinking this as being a flash fiction. You may want to ignore my suggestions. This is well written. Good luck in your contest.
Now, his gelding lay forty feet below him, broken and twisted. (Dead as a door-nail,
Old Beau had been a good one. This thought flashed across his mind, along with regret that he hadn't given his buddy an extra apple the night before. (Old Beau had been a good one. I'll miss him.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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I was thinking this as being a flash fiction. You may want to ignore my suggestions. This is well written. Good luck in your contest.
Now, his gelding lay forty feet below him, broken and twisted. (Dead as a door-nail,
Old Beau had been a good one. This thought flashed across his mind, along with regret that he hadn't given his buddy an extra apple the night before. (
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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No, I will read it again Charlie and see! I like other's ideas. Yours are welcome too! ")) Thanks, it's a joy to hear from you! ") Susan
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You're choice, Susan. Charlie
Comment from Gungalo
It's not so bad. There's plenty of mystery and intrigue here. A welcomed change for this poet and should be be fore you too. Keep on keeping on!
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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It's not so bad. There's plenty of mystery and intrigue here. A welcomed change for this poet and should be be fore you too. Keep on keeping on!
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Hi there! Thank you so much. I am trying, there were many 'ing' words here that I had to change! I'm happy to hear from you Miss Caterpillar! ")) Susan
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Hello Susan!! Hope all is well with yoy!!
Comment from misscookie
You have a talent in writing
I enjoyed this story very much and you left us in wonder if he was saved or not. That was very clever of you.
This is a good write.
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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You have a talent in writing
I enjoyed this story very much and you left us in wonder if he was saved or not. That was very clever of you.
This is a good write.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2011
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2011
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Hi Cookie! HUGS and thanks. I am super happy you got that I intended to leave the ending open! Good job! I appreciate that. Luv, susan
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It's my pleasure.
