The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "When is Too Much Too Much?"A family learns their father is a serial killer
36 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Near the end of line 24: 'In raged'... [Enraged]
End of line 52: ?(All always) thought she (she)....
line 54: ...with anyone other (that) [than]...
I didn't find the chapter confusing, although one had to keep one's wits! The terrible sense of foreboding, of something 'nasty' hanging over their heads is explained now, which is something of a relief. Hope you can find the spags okay. I've put them down where they are on my computer, which may vary from yours. I'm still elated when I see a new chapter, Giddy :)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
  |
Near the end of line 24: 'In raged'... [Enraged]
End of line 52: ?(All always) thought she (she)....
line 54: ...with anyone other (that) [than]...
I didn't find the chapter confusing, although one had to keep one's wits! The terrible sense of foreboding, of something 'nasty' hanging over their heads is explained now, which is something of a relief. Hope you can find the spags okay. I've put them down where they are on my computer, which may vary from yours. I'm still elated when I see a new chapter, Giddy :)
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
-
Thanks for catching the spags. I am so pleased you continue to find this interesting.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Oh my!
This is very good.
Interesting.
Great descriptions.
Good dialogue.
Lots of suspense.
Great way to end it.
Chilling too.
Katie
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
|
Oh my!
This is very good.
Interesting.
Great descriptions.
Good dialogue.
Lots of suspense.
Great way to end it.
Chilling too.
Katie
Comment Written 20-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2011
-
Thanks. I am pleased you liked this. I wasn't sure how this would be received.
-
You're welcome. :)
Comment from JW
Even though I have not read the previous chapter, this one does a good job standing alone. It is very well written, especially considering the subject matter within. Good job.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
|
Even though I have not read the previous chapter, this one does a good job standing alone. It is very well written, especially considering the subject matter within. Good job.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
-
I am pleased you liked it especially knowing you have not read previous chapters.
Comment from WRITER1
Very good chapter I can't even imagine this kid taking on so much hardship. His father is a real piece of work. There are things I do believe should be left behind.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
|
Very good chapter I can't even imagine this kid taking on so much hardship. His father is a real piece of work. There are things I do believe should be left behind.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
-
I agree completely. Sadly, James's need to know is leading him down a very, very dark road. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Readywriter52
James' mother decided to tell James everything she knew about his father. His father was damaged merchandize. Even though he knew his father lied about many things, he chose to believe women were weak and stupid. His treated James' mother very badly. Sometimes a person won't change even if evidence says he should.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
|
James' mother decided to tell James everything she knew about his father. His father was damaged merchandize. Even though he knew his father lied about many things, he chose to believe women were weak and stupid. His treated James' mother very badly. Sometimes a person won't change even if evidence says he should.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
-
That is so very true. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Gungalo
Wow, the more of this I read, the more I believe it is truly based on some facts garnered from somewhere. Maybe even a combination. What a messed up family for sure but you tell the story very well!!!
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
|
Wow, the more of this I read, the more I believe it is truly based on some facts garnered from somewhere. Maybe even a combination. What a messed up family for sure but you tell the story very well!!!
Comment Written 19-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
-
Yes, it is based loosely on 5 different serial killers, Hurley is based on my Grandfather, Mac two friends I know on the Seattle Police force, James if a combination of my imagination and several real geniuses I have had the pleasure of knowing, and the rest is a vivid imagination. Glad you liked this one.
-
Oh I just love it you!!! I knew it!!
Comment from c_lucas
An excellent edition. James is beginning to get his answers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Good job.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
|
An excellent edition. James is beginning to get his answers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Good job.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
-
Thanks. I am pleased you liked this one.
-
You're welcome, Sasha. Charlie
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Sasha, this is 'confusing' because the situation described is confusing. I have no suggestion to offer, we readers have to figure it our ourselves ... :) Highly interesting chapter. I wonder how the next will be.
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
|
Hi, Sasha, this is 'confusing' because the situation described is confusing. I have no suggestion to offer, we readers have to figure it our ourselves ... :) Highly interesting chapter. I wonder how the next will be.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
-
Yes, the situation is a unfamiliar one therefore making it confusing. It will clear up as the book progresses...I promise!
Comment from MS Writer
This is very riveting. Love reading about James and the family. Wow, what a family. Very well written and I do not find any confusion at all. I find it easy to read and follows a logical path. Great stuff.
One day he confronted
?think you're missing open quotes here
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
|
This is very riveting. Love reading about James and the family. Wow, what a family. Very well written and I do not find any confusion at all. I find it easy to read and follows a logical path. Great stuff.
One day he confronted
?think you're missing open quotes here
Comment Written 19-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
-
Thanks for catching the spage. I am pleased it wasn't confusing.
Comment from Alaskastory
'When is Too Much Too Much?' is full of more story than I thought anyone could imagine. You present the wierd facts in a convincing way, Sasha.
I guess 'is' should be 'if' here:'...I couldn't tell [is](if) she was serious...
most common typo, missing 'r': '...you(r) father began acting...
comma: '..were from Blaine(,) Washington."
again that typo: '....died before you(r) father was born.
typo: Although[t] I wasn't so sure about the world...
I can hardly wait for more. Great job! luv, Marie
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
|
'When is Too Much Too Much?' is full of more story than I thought anyone could imagine. You present the wierd facts in a convincing way, Sasha.
I guess 'is' should be 'if' here:'...I couldn't tell [is](if) she was serious...
most common typo, missing 'r': '...you(r) father began acting...
comma: '..were from Blaine(,) Washington."
again that typo: '....died before you(r) father was born.
typo: Although[t] I wasn't so sure about the world...
I can hardly wait for more. Great job! luv, Marie
Comment Written 19-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2011
-
You guys are just to fast for me....I just caught all the typos thank to Speedy Gonzalez otherwise known as Adewpear/Brooke!!! Thanks for catching them too. I am pleased you enjoyed this will trip down into the world of really weird.