The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "Be Careful What You Ask For"A family learns their father is a serial killer
30 total reviews
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
These descriptions of the emotional turmoil going on between Mac and James are really insightful. I enjoy reading your chapters almost as instruction.
Giddy
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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These descriptions of the emotional turmoil going on between Mac and James are really insightful. I enjoy reading your chapters almost as instruction.
Giddy
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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That's the advantage of coming from a seriously dysfunctional family!!! I am thrilled you liked this one.
Comment from adewpearl
Fascinating back story for James's dad
Ah, James has a brilliant idea - they are always worth pursuing - you have me ready for the next chapter. Excellent dialogue between Mac and James :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Fascinating back story for James's dad
Ah, James has a brilliant idea - they are always worth pursuing - you have me ready for the next chapter. Excellent dialogue between Mac and James :-) Brooke
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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This is where most of the major changes I made come into play. I thought there needed to be more about dear old dad. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Writingfundimension
This is absolutely top-rate writing, Smurphgirl. Your series is fascinating and this chapter is a very smart and deftly developed addition. Look forward to reading more as your characters are addicting! Best wishes, Bev
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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This is absolutely top-rate writing, Smurphgirl. Your series is fascinating and this chapter is a very smart and deftly developed addition. Look forward to reading more as your characters are addicting! Best wishes, Bev
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.
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You're most welcome! Bev
Comment from bhogg
Hi SG - I haven't read your posts in awhile. What a loss for me. This was awesome, paced extremely well, no wasted words and a great balance between dialog and narrative. I should have waited until tomorrow when I had a new allotment of sixes - well worth one. Best ... Bill
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Hi SG - I haven't read your posts in awhile. What a loss for me. This was awesome, paced extremely well, no wasted words and a great balance between dialog and narrative. I should have waited until tomorrow when I had a new allotment of sixes - well worth one. Best ... Bill
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much for your enthusiastic review. I am thrilled you liked this one and not to worry, 5's are just fine with me.
Comment from frankmartin
Your style is original. I really like the way it moves. Nice work. So sorry but quite frankly I dont see anything at all that should be changed. I hope I can write at this level some day. Thank you very much for sharing your art. Please keep it up!...
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Your style is original. I really like the way it moves. Nice work. So sorry but quite frankly I dont see anything at all that should be changed. I hope I can write at this level some day. Thank you very much for sharing your art. Please keep it up!...
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you so much for the awesome and enthusiastic review. I sincerely appreciate it.
Comment from Halfree
Good story development. Like the way you are bringing the story along at a good pace. The dialog is good and very believable. Beginning to like the policeman. His character is slowly being peeled layer by layer. Good writing.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Good story development. Like the way you are bringing the story along at a good pace. The dialog is good and very believable. Beginning to like the policeman. His character is slowly being peeled layer by layer. Good writing.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thanks so much. I am thrilled you liked this one.
Comment from c_lucas
There is no way of shutting James down without him knowing the truth. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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There is no way of shutting James down without him knowing the truth. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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You are right. James is in his unstoppable mode. Can't turn back now. Glad you liked this one.
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You're welcome, Sasha. Charlie
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I don't remember this information about the dad in the first version. I really like it. It gives us more insight to the dad. Once again a perfect post.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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I don't remember this information about the dad in the first version. I really like it. It gives us more insight to the dad. Once again a perfect post.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Yes, this is where all the NEW stuff comes in. I am thrilled you liked this one and sincerely appreciate the awesome 6 stars.
Comment from Gungalo
Oh my what an interesting story this sounds like. Your characters are believalbe and appear to be very strong already and the attention you pay to details, I say this to every author, is great for it makes or breaks your story!! WEll done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Oh my what an interesting story this sounds like. Your characters are believalbe and appear to be very strong already and the attention you pay to details, I say this to every author, is great for it makes or breaks your story!! WEll done.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thank you so very much. I am thrilled you enjoyed this one.
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Oh yes, it's wonderful girl!!!
Comment from Deejharrington
Another terrific chapter! I especially enjoyed where James realizes that Mac is about to tell him things that are "between God and himself". The next chapter, with the talk with his mother and aunt should be fascinating. Stay healthy and keep writing.
deb
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reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Another terrific chapter! I especially enjoyed where James realizes that Mac is about to tell him things that are "between God and himself". The next chapter, with the talk with his mother and aunt should be fascinating. Stay healthy and keep writing.
deb
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2011
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2011
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Thanks. Things are starting to heat up and the story will progress much faster now. Glad you liked this one.