The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "The Beginning of a Very Long Night"A family learns their father is a serial killer
30 total reviews
Comment from raw form
I really dig the depth of your characters and how they come across to the reader. It's like you're right there in the middle of the story. it reads itself if that makes any sense. you make me want to turn the page every chapter you put out.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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I really dig the depth of your characters and how they come across to the reader. It's like you're right there in the middle of the story. it reads itself if that makes any sense. you make me want to turn the page every chapter you put out.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Those are words that any writer would be delighted to hear. Thanks so much for making my day.
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Hey I'm enjoying the story and I call it like I see it. keep giving us more! :)
Comment from words
I like the questions that James started with.
I came from a family where no one ever talked about anything problematical.
My mother didn't like my grandfather ... he died before I was born ... no one ever talked about him ... not even my grandmother ... why? Now, I will never know ... so many things were like that ... the family just acted as if anything unpleasant well ... just never happened. The person who asked the questions was ALWAYS made out to be the bad guy. I do know how James feels.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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I like the questions that James started with.
I came from a family where no one ever talked about anything problematical.
My mother didn't like my grandfather ... he died before I was born ... no one ever talked about him ... not even my grandmother ... why? Now, I will never know ... so many things were like that ... the family just acted as if anything unpleasant well ... just never happened. The person who asked the questions was ALWAYS made out to be the bad guy. I do know how James feels.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Without telling secrets, he may not be prepared for what he finds out. How's that for a little tease?
Comment from kiwigirl2821
I suppose the sign of a good story is when your reader is left thinking and what comes next...when will it be out? That is how it is with me and this story. So get busy writing it gf ...then come out and play! xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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I suppose the sign of a good story is when your reader is left thinking and what comes next...when will it be out? That is how it is with me and this story. So get busy writing it gf ...then come out and play! xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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The next chapter reveals some important information but again, it also poses more questions. You can't have it all at once...where's the fun it that.
Comment from lola29
You described perfectly what a panic attack feels like. I've had a couple just as you described. I'm surprised James is holding up as well as he is, and I'm so glad he has Mac to talk to. That kid needs a break.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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You described perfectly what a panic attack feels like. I've had a couple just as you described. I'm surprised James is holding up as well as he is, and I'm so glad he has Mac to talk to. That kid needs a break.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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I've had a few too. Not the least bit fun. Glad you liked this chapter.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Once again I enjoyed this chapter very much. I'm also glad that I went back and read chapter 19 first. I like the way the characters are even now still developing.
Giddy
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Once again I enjoyed this chapter very much. I'm also glad that I went back and read chapter 19 first. I like the way the characters are even now still developing.
Giddy
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thanks so much. I am so pleased you like how this is developing.
Comment from RebelRose
Boy, that James is 'take charge' kind of fellow and he doesn't mind telling Mac what he will and won't do. Another great chapter with excellent dialogue.
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Boy, that James is 'take charge' kind of fellow and he doesn't mind telling Mac what he will and won't do. Another great chapter with excellent dialogue.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Yes, I just love James. He is the son I never had!
Comment from adewpearl
I found it hard to breath - to breathe
walked out the door, slamming it behind me - add comma
pressed the down button several times, anxiously waiting - add comma
any worse that has already happened - than has already
you're wasting you time waiting tables - your time
Excellent dialogue between James and Mac and a very revealing look inside the fears that are haunting James and bringing on his panic attack Brooke
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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I found it hard to breath - to breathe
walked out the door, slamming it behind me - add comma
pressed the down button several times, anxiously waiting - add comma
any worse that has already happened - than has already
you're wasting you time waiting tables - your time
Excellent dialogue between James and Mac and a very revealing look inside the fears that are haunting James and bringing on his panic attack Brooke
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thank you so much for catching the spags. I think James has earned a panic attack (or two) don't you?
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Yeah, he has come by them honestly, for sure
Comment from c_lucas
I am trying to place this. Is it where James is rushed to the hospital because of bleeding ulcers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
going to say next." (delete")
I know you see me as the bad buy, (guy)
You should joint (join) the police force."
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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I am trying to place this. Is it where James is rushed to the hospital because of bleeding ulcers. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words.
going to say next." (delete")
I know you see me as the bad buy, (guy)
You should joint (join) the police force."
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Similar chapter but James doesn't go to the hospital in this one. Thanks for catching the spags too.
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You're welcome, Sasha. Charlie
Comment from animatqua
This is an intriguing story. The plot line kept me enthralled from the first time I read it. I found the following spags:
I know you see me as the bad buy,
You should joint the police force."
Betty returned to the counter and her newspaper Leaving Mac and
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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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This is an intriguing story. The plot line kept me enthralled from the first time I read it. I found the following spags:
I know you see me as the bad buy,
You should joint the police force."
Betty returned to the counter and her newspaper Leaving Mac and
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Thanks so much for catching the spags. I am thrilled you enjoyed this, especially as a firs time read.
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LOL This isn't my first read. I became a fan some time ago so I could keep up with the book. The first time I did read it, however, I was drawn right into it.
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I reread what you said, and yup, that's exactly what you said. Still glad you liked it.
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Not sure if that came out right....I meant to say you were clear, I just misread...not that I was right and your were wrong. If I sound tired, it is because I am.
Comment from Deejharrington
I wish I had a 6 and had started reading at the beginning. But you got me, I'll catch up. Great plot and characters. They grabbed me even before I read the notes. I will have some serious reading to do.
deb
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reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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I wish I had a 6 and had started reading at the beginning. But you got me, I'll catch up. Great plot and characters. They grabbed me even before I read the notes. I will have some serious reading to do.
deb
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 28-Feb-2011
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Take your time, the chapters are not going anywhere. I am thrilled you enjoyed this without having read the previous chapters.