The Wind
Life on the prairie62 total reviews
Comment from Larrypic11
Thank you very much for writing. This is emotionally powerful as the intensity builds and you feel the mother's anxiety grow with each passing word. Wonderful.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Thank you very much for writing. This is emotionally powerful as the intensity builds and you feel the mother's anxiety grow with each passing word. Wonderful.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Hi Larry! Thank you very much! I am happy you appreciated my effort! And I appreciate your stopping to review for me too!! Susan
Comment from Soledadpaz
This is exquisitely written, not one word wasted. Each word paints a picture for us, a picture of hope that turns to desperation with each whistle of the wind. Chilling and I am sure real, at one time.
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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This is exquisitely written, not one word wasted. Each word paints a picture for us, a picture of hope that turns to desperation with each whistle of the wind. Chilling and I am sure real, at one time.
Comment Written 04-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Hi Soledad! Thank you so much. I don't like whistling wind myself...and these poor people didn't live well at all back then. I appreciate your kind review and I hope we all have a safe spring from the tornadoes...talk about wind! ") Thank you again!! Susan
Comment from Nomar Chagrin
Whoa, how'd I miss this one? Can't remember the last time I read a story here that sent a chill up my spine, but this did it. Such a tragic ending, but that's what gave it even more impact. I'm impressed. I haven't finished reading the entries yet, so I don't know the tally, but I'd be shocked if this isn't at or near the top. Can't say enough about it. (They won't let me give you a 6 so just imagine it's there)
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Whoa, how'd I miss this one? Can't remember the last time I read a story here that sent a chill up my spine, but this did it. Such a tragic ending, but that's what gave it even more impact. I'm impressed. I haven't finished reading the entries yet, so I don't know the tally, but I'd be shocked if this isn't at or near the top. Can't say enough about it. (They won't let me give you a 6 so just imagine it's there)
Comment Written 03-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Hi Erik!! Thank you so much, this kind and encouraging review really makes me want to keep trying. I will consider this a six, and wow!! I'm very grateful. This has made my day brighter!! Susan
Comment from forestport12
I love it when poetry and pose is seamlessly threaded together. You didn't waste any words. You gave me a full bodied story in a short but deep read. I felt rewarded for my reading journey. Stan
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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I love it when poetry and pose is seamlessly threaded together. You didn't waste any words. You gave me a full bodied story in a short but deep read. I felt rewarded for my reading journey. Stan
Comment Written 03-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2011
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Hi Stan! Thank you so much!! I am thrilled you enjoyed this so. What kind and encouraging comments...you have really helped make me want to keep trying! Thank you again!! Susan
Comment from mermaids
There is probably much truth in your story, many women existed like the one in your story. You create a clear picture here and one feels for the main character. No revisions needed.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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There is probably much truth in your story, many women existed like the one in your story. You create a clear picture here and one feels for the main character. No revisions needed.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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HI Mermaid! Thank you very much!! I am grateful and do appreciate this kind and encouraging review! Have a wonderful weekend!! ") Susan
Comment from JoAnna77
This is powerful writing - and Oh - so heartbreakingly sad! It has a poetic ring to it - so much of a story is packed into a few very well chosen words.
I can hear the whistling of the wind, feel the isolation and despair - and the thought of the woman not even noticing as she drops her child is such as strong and tragic one. The last line is particularly powerful:
'The woman stood, hands clamped tight over her ears, her screams blending with her son's own cries. And the wind garnered strength from their weakness as it whistled a song of death.'
Outstanding!
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2011
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This is powerful writing - and Oh - so heartbreakingly sad! It has a poetic ring to it - so much of a story is packed into a few very well chosen words.
I can hear the whistling of the wind, feel the isolation and despair - and the thought of the woman not even noticing as she drops her child is such as strong and tragic one. The last line is particularly powerful:
'The woman stood, hands clamped tight over her ears, her screams blending with her son's own cries. And the wind garnered strength from their weakness as it whistled a song of death.'
Outstanding!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 23-Feb-2011
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Hi JoAnna! Thank you again, for being such an encouraging fanfriend! I always appreciate hearing from you!! I hope you are having a great evening! Thank you again!! hugs! Susan
Comment from Fireshadow
WOW ! Susan, this is an amazing story, albeit with a cruel ending. I'm sure it portrays events which happened in real life during those times. Excellent imagery and descriptive details, as always. Thank you for sharing this fantastic write, my friend.
Ama
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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WOW ! Susan, this is an amazing story, albeit with a cruel ending. I'm sure it portrays events which happened in real life during those times. Excellent imagery and descriptive details, as always. Thank you for sharing this fantastic write, my friend.
Ama
Comment Written 22-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2011
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Thank you very much Ama! You always make me feel like I have done something right...you are welcome and I am happy each time you like something of mine...hug! Susan
Comment from Minglement
Wow, this is a very powerful story and beautifully told. One could feel her desperation as time wore on. Beautifully described. I loved the wind piercing her ears and her very thoughts. On thing I wondered about. In the sentence that begins, 'And he had left, leaving her with one rifle', I wondered about the reptition of leaving. I don't know if it's really an issue, or just me. But it stopped me, and that's something you don't want to do. I'd think, 'And he'd left her with one rifle' would read smoother. Obvisouly it didn't affect you shining stars. Very well done. No happy ending here...
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2011
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Wow, this is a very powerful story and beautifully told. One could feel her desperation as time wore on. Beautifully described. I loved the wind piercing her ears and her very thoughts. On thing I wondered about. In the sentence that begins, 'And he had left, leaving her with one rifle', I wondered about the reptition of leaving. I don't know if it's really an issue, or just me. But it stopped me, and that's something you don't want to do. I'd think, 'And he'd left her with one rifle' would read smoother. Obvisouly it didn't affect you shining stars. Very well done. No happy ending here...
Comment Written 22-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2011
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OH Marcia!! That was a glaring mistake!! I changed it to "had gone away"...thank you so much!! HOW embarrassing, you have a good mind and sharp eyes! I will nominate you if I am able! Great help! Thank you again and for this kind rating too!! Wow. luv you! Susan
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You are most welcome. You are such a good writer, I am always reluctant to point out anything that doesn't quite look right to me. Who am I to know, agains your knowledge. I glad I didn't offend you. I am not educated in writing, and can only say how it feels to me when I read it. Glad it helped. :) Marcia
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This is the nicest compliment! Thank you so much...but never ever hesitate! I didn't catch that at all!! And I did try! ") IT is great to have honest help!! I hope you and your kitty are having a good evening! Rest and enjoy...") xoxo. susan
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Tabu is feeling very relaxed and regal napping on my bed all day! In spite of the snow flurries, or in between, in the sunshine I added three bags of sand to my front sitting area to level and set four step stones at a level with the sidewalk that frames two sides of it. It's enclosed by two walls and the sidewalk. I don't want to deal with weeding, so leveled it, put down weed cloth, then sand. I'll have a park bench and an Adirondack chair to sit in, in the sun. Now that the stones are set, I can level the rest of the sand and I'll be ready to put in landscaping rock. One big area that will pretty much maintenance free! Yeah! Now I'm showered and ready to fix dinner. Later I'm going out with my daughter to see her aunt sing karaoke. She's very good. It will be good diversion. :) Have a good evening. Marcia
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OH Marcia...I love it...what a grand day...what a life you have! I am thrilled that you are happy and little Tabu too!! Your yard sounds wonderful!! Just wonderful! ") NOW, you just need some warm days!! ") SOON! Thank you for sharing your day! HUG! Susan
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It was a good day. I'm looking forward to seeing this area finished. And I have bulbs to look forward to as we leave the cold weather behind. Life is good! Even Tabu thinks so LOL. Thank you, friend - Marcia
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") Wow...keep me posted? And I hope the deer or moles dont' eat your bulbs, like they do here! Geez. Smiles and best Marcia!! S.
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No deer and no moles (I hope!). :)
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") Yes!! I am trying to scare these off here, all the time! ") We have panthers here too. My son and I saw two a few years ago and this year the DNR recognized them, after "capturing" one on a deer camera trap! ") I'm more scared of these people than the wildlife tho! ") S.
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Wow, panthers? No thanks LOL. Take care and stay safe! Marcia
Comment from Angelite
Oh dear, this is slightly horrific.
And here was me expecting a 'little house on the prairie' rerun lol.
Great imagination, well written.
Sadly, wind can send people crazy, we have nor'west winds here in Canterbury, NZ, warm and blustery can sets people off .
Angel
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2011
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Oh dear, this is slightly horrific.
And here was me expecting a 'little house on the prairie' rerun lol.
Great imagination, well written.
Sadly, wind can send people crazy, we have nor'west winds here in Canterbury, NZ, warm and blustery can sets people off .
Angel
Comment Written 22-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2011
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Hi Angel, thank you so very much!! I hate a constant wind. I would not be able to live where it never ceased! But it's good to keep the air fresh though? I hope you have some nice calm weather there! I know there have been floods in Australia. It seems the whole world is having odd, or extreme weather. I hope it's not a sign of the end. Worry, worry...") Thank you for this wonderful review Angel! Luv, susan
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We are having semi decent weather but our end of world feeling is the huge earthquake which hit christchurch yesterday. Still digging people out of the rubble. We were well shaken here at home but luckily our house and family are safe
Comment from Rama Rao
You posted this under the label Western fiction. Fiction is fiction and has no boundaries. Secondly, what is the story in this piece? Just the wind blew and wreaked havoc with the life of a lonely woman in a cottage far removed from others.
Thirdly, cane breaks-what does it mean?
Break the first sentence by putting a period at stock.
It roared and whistled incessantly, her constant, unwelcome companion. -The wind, her constant companion, roared and whistled incessantly.
The wind blew with added force, -the wind freshened everyday
more powerful with each passing day. -more powerful than the previous day. More should generally be followed by than.
she let go her baby and- a comma before and
Although it had fewer spags, the content left much to be desired.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2011
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You posted this under the label Western fiction. Fiction is fiction and has no boundaries. Secondly, what is the story in this piece? Just the wind blew and wreaked havoc with the life of a lonely woman in a cottage far removed from others.
Thirdly, cane breaks-what does it mean?
Break the first sentence by putting a period at stock.
It roared and whistled incessantly, her constant, unwelcome companion. -The wind, her constant companion, roared and whistled incessantly.
The wind blew with added force, -the wind freshened everyday
more powerful with each passing day. -more powerful than the previous day. More should generally be followed by than.
she let go her baby and- a comma before and
Although it had fewer spags, the content left much to be desired.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2011
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Thank you Ramarao...I do wish I could please you. I will keep trying. I appreciate your time for me...regardless...susan