The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "A First Round Knockout"A family learns their father is a serial killer
28 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
My family has been through hell, yet you insist - I've switched placement of the comma
James's speech is most compelling, and you report the reaction of his family and the reporters well, also. The emotion of each character comes across as genuine. Brooke
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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My family has been through hell, yet you insist - I've switched placement of the comma
James's speech is most compelling, and you report the reaction of his family and the reporters well, also. The emotion of each character comes across as genuine. Brooke
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Thanks for catching the comma (notice I remembered to put two m's in this time). I pleased the emotion of the characters come across as realistic.
Comment from animatqua
Oh how I wish this would get through to even one of those vipers! I have never experienced this rabid hounding. I have, of course, seen it second hand through TV, Movies, etc.
This is one of the most sadistic and blatant misues of the First Ammendment I can think of.
Well told!
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Oh how I wish this would get through to even one of those vipers! I have never experienced this rabid hounding. I have, of course, seen it second hand through TV, Movies, etc.
This is one of the most sadistic and blatant misues of the First Ammendment I can think of.
Well told!
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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To be honest, I actually have experienced obsessed wrath of the media and had fun writing this chapter. I got to say all the things I wished I had thought of at the time. Glad you enjoyed this one.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Very good job.
questions:
"I am Thomas Hurley, the attorney representing Mrs. Martin and her children. Mrs. Mathews and her son, James, have a statement (Martin/Mathews???)
Acceptance that the man they(we) thought was a loving husband
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Very good job.
questions:
"I am Thomas Hurley, the attorney representing Mrs. Martin and her children. Mrs. Mathews and her son, James, have a statement (Martin/Mathews???)
Acceptance that the man they(we) thought was a loving husband
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Thanks for catching that, I changed (don't have the slightest idea why) the name Martin to Mathews. Thanks for catching the other spag too.
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You're welcome, Sasha. Charlie
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
I've said it once and I'll say it again - you are far the best author on site - you can touch the reader emotionally, which is why I say you're the best, Sasha - oh, how I wish I had a six for you
will not be taking any questions."
- suggest..
will not be answering
"My family has been through hell (and) yet,
the man you loved(,) be so strong it
Margaret
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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I've said it once and I'll say it again - you are far the best author on site - you can touch the reader emotionally, which is why I say you're the best, Sasha - oh, how I wish I had a six for you
will not be taking any questions."
- suggest..
will not be answering
"My family has been through hell (and) yet,
the man you loved(,) be so strong it
Margaret
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Thanks so much for the enthusiastic review. I also thank you for your helpful suggestions. "Will not be answering any questions" is grammatically correct but for some reason, lawyers, attorneys, and media always say "taking"...that in itself should tell you something lol
Comment from Halfree
Back on track. Goor dialog,good scene setting and a good speech by the son. I could feel the tension and the mindless questions from the reporters. Keep at it, this story is working.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Back on track. Goor dialog,good scene setting and a good speech by the son. I could feel the tension and the mindless questions from the reporters. Keep at it, this story is working.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Thanks so much. It won't be long before the story takes a complete left turn from the original draft, I hope it works and that you like it.
Comment from RebelRose
That was a great speech. I hope it makes the reporters feel badly but they are so thick-skinned, it is hard to get through to them. When I watch TV, I marvel at the really ridiculous and stupid questions the reporters ask. James really put them in their place.
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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That was a great speech. I hope it makes the reporters feel badly but they are so thick-skinned, it is hard to get through to them. When I watch TV, I marvel at the really ridiculous and stupid questions the reporters ask. James really put them in their place.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Reporters are often obnoxious and sadly, stupid. I am very pleased you enjoyed James putting them in their place.
Comment from moyramouse
to sink into their think/thick skulls
Mr Hurley was waiting for us at the top of the step(S)
Mrs Mathew's/Mathews and her son James
Wow, this was powerful stuff.. it was as though James' eyes were boring into mine when he was speaking. Wouldn't it be great if someone really did speak to the reporters hounding them like this! When James asked his questions it made me think too? He is a strong and likeable character and a very good son. x moyramouse
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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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to sink into their think/thick skulls
Mr Hurley was waiting for us at the top of the step(S)
Mrs Mathew's/Mathews and her son James
Wow, this was powerful stuff.. it was as though James' eyes were boring into mine when he was speaking. Wouldn't it be great if someone really did speak to the reporters hounding them like this! When James asked his questions it made me think too? He is a strong and likeable character and a very good son. x moyramouse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Thank for catching the spags. I am thrilled you liked this chapter.
Comment from Gungalo
Sigh what a riveting write this one is!!! You've done well and the emotional pull of your words is definitely something that cannot be missed here. Synamite stuff!!!
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reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Sigh what a riveting write this one is!!! You've done well and the emotional pull of your words is definitely something that cannot be missed here. Synamite stuff!!!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2011
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Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review. I sincerely appreciate it.
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My pleasure you, minus the typo. LOL Sorry about that!!!
