The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "The Demon and His Son"A family learns their father is a serial killer
35 total reviews
Comment from RebelRose
Poor James. He had to crack at some point; couldn't keep it bottled up forever. I guess his father was not only hiding something but was also in a state of shock at James standing up to him the way he did. It will be interesting to find out just what the man is hiding. You wrote this so well. The reader could easily feel James pain. Great dialogue.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
  |
Poor James. He had to crack at some point; couldn't keep it bottled up forever. I guess his father was not only hiding something but was also in a state of shock at James standing up to him the way he did. It will be interesting to find out just what the man is hiding. You wrote this so well. The reader could easily feel James pain. Great dialogue.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
-
Thanks so much. I am pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from InterestingRon
Hi Smurphy
I didn't think the chapters in this book could get any better - I was wrong! This absorbing read is your best yet.
It has everything - drama, emotional impact, metaphors and James is becoming such an impressive, dominating presence.
I can hardly wait to see what other gems you're going to serve up.
Ron
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
 |
Hi Smurphy
I didn't think the chapters in this book could get any better - I was wrong! This absorbing read is your best yet.
It has everything - drama, emotional impact, metaphors and James is becoming such an impressive, dominating presence.
I can hardly wait to see what other gems you're going to serve up.
Ron
Comment Written 03-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
-
Thanks you so much for the marvelous 6 stars. I am thrilled you are enjoying this.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This chapter has pointed out to me clearly the strength of your writing and your high-quality as an author. The depth of emotion so succinctly described between these two is superb.
Can't wait for more!
Giddy
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
|
This chapter has pointed out to me clearly the strength of your writing and your high-quality as an author. The depth of emotion so succinctly described between these two is superb.
Can't wait for more!
Giddy
Comment Written 03-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
-
Thank you very much for the awesome 6 stars. I am sincerely thrilled you are enjoying this story.Thaks
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Sasha, this is most dramatic, right? And you've described the scenes and the war in James' heart so well -- can't be better! Congrats.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
|
Hi, Sasha, this is most dramatic, right? And you've described the scenes and the war in James' heart so well -- can't be better! Congrats.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
-
Thank you very much. I am sincerely pleased you enjoyed this one.
Comment from whitteron
prod and pinch every inch
I love it. It's so hard for children to turn the roles around, even when it's justified. I wonder if I could ever tell Huey what I think of him, even if he were behing twelve inches of glass...probably not, mostly because it wouldn't matter. You have capture how determined James is to get to the truth, and also depicted the vulnerability an 18-year-old kid would have, regardless of his IQ
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
|
prod and pinch every inch
I love it. It's so hard for children to turn the roles around, even when it's justified. I wonder if I could ever tell Huey what I think of him, even if he were behing twelve inches of glass...probably not, mostly because it wouldn't matter. You have capture how determined James is to get to the truth, and also depicted the vulnerability an 18-year-old kid would have, regardless of his IQ
Comment Written 02-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2011
-
That is the difficulty I have with James, despite his intelligence, he is still a boy with limited life experiences. For him, as with his family, it is a learn as you go. There is a little of me in James (and Charles). I have a temper and whether or not expressing it mattered never entered the picture. I am very pleased you are continuing to enjoy this story.
Comment from marcellawachtel
This is a very moving and very powerful chapter. I have one comment: James asks how he can dare ask for mercy. It's possible I forgot some of the last chapter, but did he actually ask for mercy? That would be a good point to know before James goes into the jail to confront him. The way I understand it now is that such a thing is assumed. If this is nitpicking, forgive me. It is a very good story and I am anxious to read it all.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
|
This is a very moving and very powerful chapter. I have one comment: James asks how he can dare ask for mercy. It's possible I forgot some of the last chapter, but did he actually ask for mercy? That would be a good point to know before James goes into the jail to confront him. The way I understand it now is that such a thing is assumed. If this is nitpicking, forgive me. It is a very good story and I am anxious to read it all.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
-
Yes, the father is currently charged with 6 murders and offer to plead guilty to 6 unsolved murders in exchange for taking the death penalty off the table. The Prosecutor has not made his decision as ofyet.
Comment from Halfree
Good five...very interesting story. One suggestion, the sentence beginning "suddenly the door opened.." Suddenly seems to break the rythm...the somber movement of the story. Try, the door opened. Like this story, very dramatic. Some good character develpopment.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
|
Good five...very interesting story. One suggestion, the sentence beginning "suddenly the door opened.." Suddenly seems to break the rythm...the somber movement of the story. Try, the door opened. Like this story, very dramatic. Some good character develpopment.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
-
Thanks for the suggestion. I will go back and make the change. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Joan E.
I admired your "blanket" metaphor and "omen" simile in the first paragraph and the "church bells" simile later on. (I think in paragraph 7, line 5, it "front" lost its "r.") But most of all I was wowed by the powerful description of James' confrontation with his dad and himself! Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
|
I admired your "blanket" metaphor and "omen" simile in the first paragraph and the "church bells" simile later on. (I think in paragraph 7, line 5, it "front" lost its "r.") But most of all I was wowed by the powerful description of James' confrontation with his dad and himself! Well done.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
-
Thanks for catching the spag. I am pleased you liked this one. It is where I begin to make bigger/major changes to the original story.
-
Thanks for the heads up--it will be fascinating to note your revisions. I didn't remember the "hands up" quip from the first version. -Joan
Comment from words
A strong emotion filled chapter.
I felt James' rage when his father tried to say that it was all a mistake. I didn't blame James for screaming at his father ... I felt like screaming too!
I'm so glad that James finally confronted his father and called his bluff. It was a cathartic moment.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
|
A strong emotion filled chapter.
I felt James' rage when his father tried to say that it was all a mistake. I didn't blame James for screaming at his father ... I felt like screaming too!
I'm so glad that James finally confronted his father and called his bluff. It was a cathartic moment.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
-
Yes, and a long overdo one too. Even James needs to blow off steam. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Oh, this is so good.
You capture the emotions so well.
This is a very powerful chapter.
Good descriptions.
I like the dialogue.
Wonderful way to end it.
So realistic.
Great job.
katie
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
|
Oh, this is so good.
You capture the emotions so well.
This is a very powerful chapter.
Good descriptions.
I like the dialogue.
Wonderful way to end it.
So realistic.
Great job.
katie
Comment Written 02-Feb-2011
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2011
-
Thank you so much. This is clearly a pivotal chapter and one I was not sure how well it would be received.
-
You're welcome. It was very good.
Katie
