The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "A Taste of What's to Come"A family learns their father is a serial killer
30 total reviews
Comment from RebelRose
I am surprised the reporters didn't follow them. I don't know know they bother to ask people questions because they are going to print whatever answers sell their papers, they don't care about the truth. I hate reporters. This is a great chapter. Charlie and James needed that laugh to let out some emotion.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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I am surprised the reporters didn't follow them. I don't know know they bother to ask people questions because they are going to print whatever answers sell their papers, they don't care about the truth. I hate reporters. This is a great chapter. Charlie and James needed that laugh to let out some emotion.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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I've have personal experience with reporters and they are definitely not particularly high on my 'like' list. Glad you7 liked this chapter.
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
Good chapter.
I like the descriptions.
Good dialogue.
Interesting developments.
A good level of emotion.
Very real.
I love how you ended the chapter.
Good job.
Katie
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Good chapter.
I like the descriptions.
Good dialogue.
Interesting developments.
A good level of emotion.
Very real.
I love how you ended the chapter.
Good job.
Katie
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Thanks. I am glad you liked this one. I wanted to end it on a high note to ease the tension.
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Good idea. And you're welcome.
Katie
Comment from words
Well done.
I like the humor you introduced in the last paragraph:
Charlie laughed. "You know what James? Even with a blurry face I'm still better looking than you."
We both burst out laughing.
Nice tension breaker.
What an ordeal this family has been through.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Well done.
I like the humor you introduced in the last paragraph:
Charlie laughed. "You know what James? Even with a blurry face I'm still better looking than you."
We both burst out laughing.
Nice tension breaker.
What an ordeal this family has been through.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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And sadly, it has just begun. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from RKagan
This entire scene seemed very real The reporters waiting like vultures and the questions they asked were all valid. You are doing an excellent job of showing us how this family is coping.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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This entire scene seemed very real The reporters waiting like vultures and the questions they asked were all valid. You are doing an excellent job of showing us how this family is coping.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much. I sincerely appreciate your continued support of this book.
Comment from adewpearl
Time to get up, sleepy head - add comma for direct address
was a miserable failure, but I appreciated - add comma
I raised my hand to let Mom know - capitalize Mom
Damn it, James - add comma for direct address
called Mr. Hurley and told him what had happened - add "had"
Dressed a tasteful maroon - in a tasteful
Despite repeating over and over, the reporters continued
Despite our repeating
questions at the same time; each trying - change the semicolon to a comma
You know what, James - add comma for direct address
Excellent dialogue that continues to show their anxieties but also their familial relationships, like the last line.
As always, excellent plot development, detail of setting. Brooke
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Time to get up, sleepy head - add comma for direct address
was a miserable failure, but I appreciated - add comma
I raised my hand to let Mom know - capitalize Mom
Damn it, James - add comma for direct address
called Mr. Hurley and told him what had happened - add "had"
Dressed a tasteful maroon - in a tasteful
Despite repeating over and over, the reporters continued
Despite our repeating
questions at the same time; each trying - change the semicolon to a comma
You know what, James - add comma for direct address
Excellent dialogue that continues to show their anxieties but also their familial relationships, like the last line.
As always, excellent plot development, detail of setting. Brooke
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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I certainly do keep you busy, don't I? Thanks for the thorough critique and catching the spags. Glad you still like this one.
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It gives me a sense of purpose and being needed :-)
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Well, you get my vote for Saint of the year....lol
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Oh, not if that includes people praying to my corpse - I find that whole saint thing creepy. LOL
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Good point!
Comment from fictionwriter
Another great chapter. I would hate to be in these kids shoes. It would really be hard if someone you trusted was a killer. Great job.
"Nothing and(space needed here)everything.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Another great chapter. I would hate to be in these kids shoes. It would really be hard if someone you trusted was a killer. Great job.
"Nothing and(space needed here)everything.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Thanks for catching the spag and I am very pleased you still like this.
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Sasha, now that you've decided to change the family atmosphere, everything seems more bearable. I think everybody becomes more 'human' now. (I hope they don't lose the special characteristics they had in the previous version, though.)
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Hi, Sasha, now that you've decided to change the family atmosphere, everything seems more bearable. I think everybody becomes more 'human' now. (I hope they don't lose the special characteristics they had in the previous version, though.)
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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I don't think they will. I just wanted to make them more human as believable. I am thrilled you like this so far.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great new chapter for your book, you have an interesting style of writing and i look forward to the next chapter
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a great new chapter for your book, you have an interesting style of writing and i look forward to the next chapter
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Thanks. I am very pleased you like this one.
Comment from vickib
Can you imagine that sort of thing going on? Well I guess you can because you did a hell of a job describing it. But wow that would test anyone. I am caught up to this point but hadn't reviewed the last two chapters. I'm so wondering how this is going to play out. Great job Valerie. You made the text bold this time. I like that for us blind people. Now what next? XO Vicki
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reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Can you imagine that sort of thing going on? Well I guess you can because you did a hell of a job describing it. But wow that would test anyone. I am caught up to this point but hadn't reviewed the last two chapters. I'm so wondering how this is going to play out. Great job Valerie. You made the text bold this time. I like that for us blind people. Now what next? XO Vicki
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Some people complain about the bold, but I prefer it since I am legally blind in one eye....guess you just can't please everyone. Glad you liked this chapter. Do try to review the previous chapter, I need one more to make all time best...lol
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I'll go there now.
Comment from c_lucas
"Trust me." has virtually taken on the being profane. This is very well weritten wtih a smooth flow of words, There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
"Nothing andeverything. (space needed)
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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"Trust me." has virtually taken on the being profane. This is very well weritten wtih a smooth flow of words, There is good imagery and descriptive scheme.
"Nothing andeverything. (space needed)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2011
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Thanks for catching the spag. I am thrilled you continue to like this.
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You're welocme, Sasha. Charlie