The Heir Apparent
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "A Moment of Reflection"A family learns their father is a serial killer
30 total reviews
Comment from fictionwriter
This story is so emotionally charged, with intensity that give the reader a wild ride. I really enjoy each and every post. Great job.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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This story is so emotionally charged, with intensity that give the reader a wild ride. I really enjoy each and every post. Great job.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much. I sincerely appreciate your positive comments.
Comment from toni guerrero
Wow,I felt like this was my moment in time to cry.Your story is so emotinal and full of hurt that I can feel in my soul.I know this story is fiction,but I could tell how things like this happen to so many families.I wish you the best in your writing journey,and keep writing. Stars belong to the sky!
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Wow,I felt like this was my moment in time to cry.Your story is so emotinal and full of hurt that I can feel in my soul.I know this story is fiction,but I could tell how things like this happen to so many families.I wish you the best in your writing journey,and keep writing. Stars belong to the sky!
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thank you so much for your enthusiastic review. I a very pleased you are enjoying this one.
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You are welcome my friend.Yes I enjoy reading emotional events in life.
Comment from RKagan
Another very realistic chapter. The emotions are strong. I was afraid that the entire family would turn against James. I was surprised that they didn't. Can't wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Another very realistic chapter. The emotions are strong. I was afraid that the entire family would turn against James. I was surprised that they didn't. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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They still have plenty of time for bickering....glad you enjoyed this one.
Comment from RebelRose
Evil Eddie seems to be on a rampage this week. Several people have complained of his evil deeds.
This chapter is very good. You make the reader feel the pain that this family is suffering. I cannot imagine how I would feel in this case. It would be devastating, for sure to learn that your loved one (father or husband) was capalable of such a horrific act.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Evil Eddie seems to be on a rampage this week. Several people have complained of his evil deeds.
This chapter is very good. You make the reader feel the pain that this family is suffering. I cannot imagine how I would feel in this case. It would be devastating, for sure to learn that your loved one (father or husband) was capalable of such a horrific act.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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I can only observe and attempt to put myself in their shoes, but the truth is unless you have actually experienced something so devastating, it is impossible to actually imagine. Glad you liked this one.
Comment from Alaskastory
'A Moment of Reflection' chapter finally gives James the relief that tears my bring. It is so good that you aptly show he has compassion for his brother, sister and mother. The developement of his character makes the story most worthwhile. This chapter could not be better, Sasha. If there are any spelling errors, they washed past me.
Great job. luv, Marie
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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'A Moment of Reflection' chapter finally gives James the relief that tears my bring. It is so good that you aptly show he has compassion for his brother, sister and mother. The developement of his character makes the story most worthwhile. This chapter could not be better, Sasha. If there are any spelling errors, they washed past me.
Great job. luv, Marie
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thank you. I was concerned about whether or not this chapter would be well received since it primarily deals with James's emotional state.
Comment from L.lora
A very good portral of the
family, their anquish and
confusion and the nightmarish
Hell they are going to be
trekking through. Your descriptions
are very good as is the dialogue.
This flows smoothly allowing for
an easy read. Looking forward to your
next post, no nits or spags...Lora
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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A very good portral of the
family, their anquish and
confusion and the nightmarish
Hell they are going to be
trekking through. Your descriptions
are very good as is the dialogue.
This flows smoothly allowing for
an easy read. Looking forward to your
next post, no nits or spags...Lora
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thanks. I am so pleased you continue to follow this. I always look forward to you comments.
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Your welcome, just wait till you see the PM I sent you...LOL
Comment from joannesnow
Well written easily interpreted chapter. James continues to develop into a character of intensity and warmth. Your words flow smoothly and you present your message well. There is much suspense and enjoyable reading which makes this a good drama.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Well written easily interpreted chapter. James continues to develop into a character of intensity and warmth. Your words flow smoothly and you present your message well. There is much suspense and enjoyable reading which makes this a good drama.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thank you very much.
Comment from c_lucas
A very touching son/mother scene. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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A very touching son/mother scene. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thanks. I always look forward to your comments.
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You're welcome.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is another wonderfully written chapter. You have the emotions of grief down perfectly.
Of the estimated 650,000 words in the English language, I had no doubt there was not a single word, or combination of words, that anyone on the planet could find that would offer any comfort to them whatsoever. (This is a very profound statement. I like the way you fit it in.)
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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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This is another wonderfully written chapter. You have the emotions of grief down perfectly.
Of the estimated 650,000 words in the English language, I had no doubt there was not a single word, or combination of words, that anyone on the planet could find that would offer any comfort to them whatsoever. (This is a very profound statement. I like the way you fit it in.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Thanks, it is one of those cool things my genius friends loved to spring on me. Thanks so much, I am pleased you enjoyed this chapter.
Comment from adewpearl
said, "I love you," sealing it with a hug - add the comma
Still clinging to me, Charlie and I walked over - you're not clinging to yourself
we stood up one by one, without saying a word we went to bed - either you need a period after one, or you need to rephrase
bed beside me, occasionally whimpering - add comma
fighting a loosing battle - losing
crept out of the room, quietly closing - add comma
What a powerful ending to this emotional chapter, Valerie - you do a superb job of showing the depth of emotion each character is feeling, each in his or her own way. Brooke
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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said, "I love you," sealing it with a hug - add the comma
Still clinging to me, Charlie and I walked over - you're not clinging to yourself
we stood up one by one, without saying a word we went to bed - either you need a period after one, or you need to rephrase
bed beside me, occasionally whimpering - add comma
fighting a loosing battle - losing
crept out of the room, quietly closing - add comma
What a powerful ending to this emotional chapter, Valerie - you do a superb job of showing the depth of emotion each character is feeling, each in his or her own way. Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 15-Jan-2011
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Just between you and me, even if I had spell check and a decent grammar check I doubt it would make any difference. Thanks for catching the spags and awkward sentences. Glad you liked this one.
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I have NO faith in either of those things - they fail to provide the right answers as often as they get it right. And then they give writers a false sense of security that they've made no mistakes. What do you mean, people ask - I used such and such checker. And I tell them I hope they didn't have to pay for that checker or they've been screwed. LOL
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At least I can say I didn't have to pay for mine, since they don't do me much good....