Redemption
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Day 2"One Man's Return From Hell
48 total reviews
Comment from patmedium
this level of expertise was unusual." [erase speech bracket]
This is clear-cut and cleanly written. I found it to be a good read and you transferred crisply clear images to my mind's eye. Pat.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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this level of expertise was unusual." [erase speech bracket]
This is clear-cut and cleanly written. I found it to be a good read and you transferred crisply clear images to my mind's eye. Pat.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thanks Pat - I appreciate you reading and for the feedback. I made the correction. You have followed this story, so thank you very much for that. Regards, Bill
Comment from fictionwriter
Great piece, letting us in on the sheriff and what's going on there. I bet that he regrets ever taking that money, especially now that she'd dying. Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Great piece, letting us in on the sheriff and what's going on there. I bet that he regrets ever taking that money, especially now that she'd dying. Great job.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thank you for reading and for your positive feedback. I think you have a new post for me to read tonight! Regards, Bill
Comment from InHisownwrite
Again, you keep the suspense going, and the mystery intertwined....Love the questions about the sheriff's character..... Also the great description of his office...
You really have a great storyline here.....
I continue to want to read on....
Bryan
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Again, you keep the suspense going, and the mystery intertwined....Love the questions about the sheriff's character..... Also the great description of his office...
You really have a great storyline here.....
I continue to want to read on....
Bryan
Comment Written 03-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thank you Bryan - when I get reviews like yours, it makes me want to continue writing. Regards, Bill
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As well as you should! Bryan
Comment from Earthwriter
i really thought you did a good job one this piece with the subject matter and the implied vigilante leaning early on i enjoyed it
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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i really thought you did a good job one this piece with the subject matter and the implied vigilante leaning early on i enjoyed it
Comment Written 03-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thank you very much for reading and for your kind feedback. Regards, Bill
Comment from FredCollingwood
Another great addition to your book. I love how you seamlessly weave humor into the tension and intrigue. Had to laugh at the fart line.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Another great addition to your book. I love how you seamlessly weave humor into the tension and intrigue. Had to laugh at the fart line.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thanks for reading Fred. I very much appreciate your support in this book. I never knew it would be this hard. Miss the days of stories only! Regards, Bill
Comment from Sally Carter
Another fast moving chapter, Bill.
A convincing picture of Sheriff Bailey, both in appearance and character. And a well explained, believable reason why he would be in Boudreux's pocket.
I really thought he was going to shoot himself! So good suspense there, broken by the telephone call.
In the para about Bailey's wife, no apostrophe needed in "Docs".
And an errant inverted comma has crept in at the end of the fifth para up.
Apart from those two tiny things I spotted, a pacy read, which I enjoyed. Great stuff!
Sal
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Another fast moving chapter, Bill.
A convincing picture of Sheriff Bailey, both in appearance and character. And a well explained, believable reason why he would be in Boudreux's pocket.
I really thought he was going to shoot himself! So good suspense there, broken by the telephone call.
In the para about Bailey's wife, no apostrophe needed in "Docs".
And an errant inverted comma has crept in at the end of the fifth para up.
Apart from those two tiny things I spotted, a pacy read, which I enjoyed. Great stuff!
Sal
Comment Written 03-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thanks Sally - I very much appreciate your help and support of this story.
Comment from MizKat
I think this chapter of your book is very interesting. You have a real knack for writing and know how to keep the reader's attention about what is going on. Kat
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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I think this chapter of your book is very interesting. You have a real knack for writing and know how to keep the reader's attention about what is going on. Kat
Comment Written 03-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thanks Kat - I appreciate you reading and your kind words.
Comment from Soledadpaz
"pictures were of the sister of the assailant" Do you mean the victim?
Good chapter. You give a good characterization of the sheriff and his personal problems. He is in some tough situations, personal and political.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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"pictures were of the sister of the assailant" Do you mean the victim?
Good chapter. You give a good characterization of the sheriff and his personal problems. He is in some tough situations, personal and political.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Excellent spot! I appreciate you reading and for your support.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great story full of intrigue and action. Your characters are excellent and so is the dialogue. I did not see any obvious errors. Good job.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Great story full of intrigue and action. Your characters are excellent and so is the dialogue. I did not see any obvious errors. Good job.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thanks TG - I appreciate you stopping by to read and for your kind feedback.
Comment from missy98writer
Bill,
chapter eleven is riveting and very well written with excellent dialogue and great descriptive writing. I enjoyed getting in Sheriff's head. Typical small town with the sheriff who's been on the job since Moses. I enjoyed the levity you add to drama and I quote: "In the old days, people didn't even fart in public without him being notified." We learn he's turning a blind eye to Bouderaux and his drug business. In my book that makes him just as guilty as the man. He was tempted to pull the trigger when he put the gun in his mouth. I was intrigued by Jimmy's statement to Dax: "He must be doing something right, or he wouldn't keep getting elected." I look forward to reading chapter twelve. You did a marvelous job on this chapter. You offer the right amount of tension with humor.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Bill,
chapter eleven is riveting and very well written with excellent dialogue and great descriptive writing. I enjoyed getting in Sheriff's head. Typical small town with the sheriff who's been on the job since Moses. I enjoyed the levity you add to drama and I quote: "In the old days, people didn't even fart in public without him being notified." We learn he's turning a blind eye to Bouderaux and his drug business. In my book that makes him just as guilty as the man. He was tempted to pull the trigger when he put the gun in his mouth. I was intrigued by Jimmy's statement to Dax: "He must be doing something right, or he wouldn't keep getting elected." I look forward to reading chapter twelve. You did a marvelous job on this chapter. You offer the right amount of tension with humor.
Melissa.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2010
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Thanks Melissa - I very much appreciate your ongoing support to this story. Chapter 12 as soon as I earn a few more posting dollars. Regards, Bill