Redemption
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Explosion"One Man's Return From Hell
39 total reviews
Comment from lola29
Bill, this was a great chapter filled with lots of action, which is what I like. I'm wondering if Boudreauz is behind the drug activity or if Gus is really the leader. I'm hoping Dax is not really thinking of leaving town. I'm excited for the next installment.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Bill, this was a great chapter filled with lots of action, which is what I like. I'm wondering if Boudreauz is behind the drug activity or if Gus is really the leader. I'm hoping Dax is not really thinking of leaving town. I'm excited for the next installment.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks Lola - it's outlined out, now just got to earn a few bucks to post it! Regards, Bill
Comment from janeae
Your story seems logical and the conversation seems easy and real. I liked it. I didn't feel any pauses or any questions from me as I read your story. Good job. Please keep writing. jane
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Your story seems logical and the conversation seems easy and real. I liked it. I didn't feel any pauses or any questions from me as I read your story. Good job. Please keep writing. jane
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks Jane - I appreciate you reading and for your kind words. If you haven't been following this story, reading chapters 1 and 2 would allow you to jump right in. 1 is an intro, and 2 is one long backstory. Regards, Bill
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Thanks, Bill, I will check out 1 and 2. jane
Comment from markk
Interesting and compelling story of drug trafficing and "cops". Its well written and smooth to read as well as intriguing. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Interesting and compelling story of drug trafficing and "cops". Its well written and smooth to read as well as intriguing. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks Mark - I appreciate you reading and for the kind words. Regards, Bill
Comment from highlander104
I'm loving this story. Sharp, crisp writing without unnecessary detail. Descriptions had me at the scene,and your dialogue carried this chapter all the way through.
A couply teeny tiny nits:
Which would bring to me ask, - maybe "bring me to ask"
This was a meth lab and not [to] small. - too
Jean K.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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I'm loving this story. Sharp, crisp writing without unnecessary detail. Descriptions had me at the scene,and your dialogue carried this chapter all the way through.
A couply teeny tiny nits:
Which would bring to me ask, - maybe "bring me to ask"
This was a meth lab and not [to] small. - too
Jean K.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks Jean - I appreciate you following the story and for the help. I'll take a look.
Comment from Eddie Z
Very complex plot but great reading. Really like your narrative build up in the second half. The action ending was all very sudden but kept you wanting to see more.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Very complex plot but great reading. Really like your narrative build up in the second half. The action ending was all very sudden but kept you wanting to see more.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks Eddie - I appreciate you reading and for your kind and generous feedback.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Very good story full of action and intrique. Your characters remain very good with excellent dialogue. Your developing the story well and always leaving me wanting more. Good job.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Very good story full of action and intrique. Your characters remain very good with excellent dialogue. Your developing the story well and always leaving me wanting more. Good job.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thank you - I very much appreciate your support of this story. Regards, Bill
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi bhogg,
One thing I learned is that trip wires often go both ways - cutting one can also release the trigger... I think they're best avoided completely!
Good story so far, rather think there are a few more bodies to be found yet though.
Patrick
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Hi bhogg,
One thing I learned is that trip wires often go both ways - cutting one can also release the trigger... I think they're best avoided completely!
Good story so far, rather think there are a few more bodies to be found yet though.
Patrick
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Great point Patrick, and you are exactly right. Stay tuned, because this one is going to be low tech, old grenade in the coffee can!
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I think you'll enjoy my next bok to be published - On The Run. Harry and Ferghal get to make big bangs using crude stuff...
Patrick
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I look forward to it. I always enjoy your posts.
Comment from RebelRose
Another great chapter. I can't believe that Dax will actually leave town, though. Very interesting police work. I saw one 'nit'. You need to start eating salads for lunch [of] something ...[or] something.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Another great chapter. I can't believe that Dax will actually leave town, though. Very interesting police work. I saw one 'nit'. You need to start eating salads for lunch [of] something ...[or] something.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks Patty - I can't believe that you are the only one who noticed. Might be good though, means heads were down taking in the story! I'll correct. Regards, Bill
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I am a former medical transcriptionist who has trained many others and corrected their work. Errors just seem to jump out at me ...except my own, of course.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is another good chapter to your book. i enjoyed the conversation between the characters and the way the rookie had the older policeman's back. great job on this chapter
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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this is another good chapter to your book. i enjoyed the conversation between the characters and the way the rookie had the older policeman's back. great job on this chapter
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks Pam. I'm glad that you read and appreciate your kind and generous feedback. Regards, Bill
Comment from c_lucas
A very interesting chapter with good action. Very good job.
The other car (cars) pulled up in a perfectly executed arrival.
"Terry, I want you to stand to my left and cover my right side." (The whole block of words do not sound professional)
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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A very interesting chapter with good action. Very good job.
The other car (cars) pulled up in a perfectly executed arrival.
"Terry, I want you to stand to my left and cover my right side." (The whole block of words do not sound professional)
Comment Written 19-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2010
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Thanks Charlie - I'll take a look at the segment. Did you feel that the block of words were too long. I was a little confused. Bill
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You're welcome Bill. Charlie