An Invitation
inspired by a writing prompt68 total reviews
Comment from bkrighter
Very nice. I understand why it is a nominee for poem of the month. In your queeries of God, you tuch on a vst array of the blessings He bestows. Great job.
Steve
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Very nice. I understand why it is a nominee for poem of the month. In your queeries of God, you tuch on a vst array of the blessings He bestows. Great job.
Steve
Comment Written 19-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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bkrighter, thank you for stopping by to read and review my poetry. I am honored. jlsavell
Comment from boberto
Hi, jlsavell: I think you have visited me, but I have never returned the visit--I don't think. I am glad that I choose this posting to do so. I enjoyed reading it very much. Yes, the human race has all these things, but seldom appreciated, or even though about. I love flowers and all bushes, trees, etc that blooms--I love nature. Much of what we love is being, or has been lost---so sad.
I think you would like my verse, "Field of Wild Flowers."
Good luck with Poem of the Month.
boberto
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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Hi, jlsavell: I think you have visited me, but I have never returned the visit--I don't think. I am glad that I choose this posting to do so. I enjoyed reading it very much. Yes, the human race has all these things, but seldom appreciated, or even though about. I love flowers and all bushes, trees, etc that blooms--I love nature. Much of what we love is being, or has been lost---so sad.
I think you would like my verse, "Field of Wild Flowers."
Good luck with Poem of the Month.
boberto
Comment Written 18-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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boberto!!! what a pleasant surprise. Truly a pleasant surprise. Yes I have visited you often, for I love your poetry, it sings in the halls of fanstory. I do not think I have visited you as of late. I reviewed one poem of the month by an author that mentioned you were her inspiration for writing the poem and I thought oh goodness I must go see. That being said...I want to thank you from the deepest chambers of my heart. I am humbled and honored that a poet of your calibre would find my work exceptional. I am definitely on cloud nine. This encourages me to keep writing. again thank you so very very much..JLSAVELL
I will definitely check out your poem right now...
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You flatter me, jlsavell. It was indeed my pleasure to read your verse. I don't award too many sixes, but you sincerely deserved this one. Always write---even if you never post some of it--it is good for the soul and heart--my hope and objective for my writing that anyone can relate to it, and it in some way, evokes theor emotions. Take care, friend. Comments like yours are the only reason I remain on FS.
Thank you, boberto
Comment from BeccaInaDaffydill
Wow. I can see why folks have thought this exceptional!
It gives the reader such a wonderful sense of Heaven on Earth. I love how it's both serious and tongue-in-cheek.
What beautiful, vivid descriptions! I also enjoyed your sometimes repitions: roses, music.
Possible spag? "rapids of a river(')s rolling spree"
I'm also wondering if maybe, since you capitalized God and He, should you maybe capitalize you and your too?
Thank you for writing this, it gave me such pleasure to read it.
~Becca
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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Wow. I can see why folks have thought this exceptional!
It gives the reader such a wonderful sense of Heaven on Earth. I love how it's both serious and tongue-in-cheek.
What beautiful, vivid descriptions! I also enjoyed your sometimes repitions: roses, music.
Possible spag? "rapids of a river(')s rolling spree"
I'm also wondering if maybe, since you capitalized God and He, should you maybe capitalize you and your too?
Thank you for writing this, it gave me such pleasure to read it.
~Becca
Comment Written 18-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2010
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BeccalnaDaffydill, thank you so very much for stopping by to read and review my poem. I am honored. Your comments are received with graciousness. There are so many wonderful entries this month and I feel very privileged to be among some of the absolute best. I hope you get a chance to read all of them. again thank you so very much...jlsavell
Your suggestions are looked into..you may be right about the You..also edited the nit..thank you so very much..jlsavell
Comment from Twomoon
jlsavell..........I love this poem!! It is so full of vision and passion and love!! It dances down the page and I can feel its heartbeat!! It has been a while since a poem has given me such joy, and this one is just majestic, a poem befitting heavens door!! Love it, Love it, and the flow and the spirit it was written in, you see, I would ask the same!! good luck,, much love twomoon
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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jlsavell..........I love this poem!! It is so full of vision and passion and love!! It dances down the page and I can feel its heartbeat!! It has been a while since a poem has given me such joy, and this one is just majestic, a poem befitting heavens door!! Love it, Love it, and the flow and the spirit it was written in, you see, I would ask the same!! good luck,, much love twomoon
Comment Written 18-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2010
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Twomoon, when I logged on to find this review, I was astounded. Receiving an exceptional from such an accomplished poet as you left me speechless. I thank you very much.
Comment from Razz
You would really question God...wow!
And then might not accept His invitation....wow wow!
Fairly bold you are.
Lots of good questions...but not to be asked of God. Especially in relation to heaven....The creator of all!
And then in the end this is your answer to His invitation.
"Thank you, I'd like to stay here, that's my decision."
I hope this writing doesn't come back to haunt you.
Have a blessed dy.
Razz
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2010
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You would really question God...wow!
And then might not accept His invitation....wow wow!
Fairly bold you are.
Lots of good questions...but not to be asked of God. Especially in relation to heaven....The creator of all!
And then in the end this is your answer to His invitation.
"Thank you, I'd like to stay here, that's my decision."
I hope this writing doesn't come back to haunt you.
Have a blessed dy.
Razz
Comment Written 18-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2010
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Razz, thank you so very much for stopping by. I appreciate you. I apologize for just responding to your excellent review. I think you and I have a totally different view of God. I do believe He expects mankind to ask, to be inquisitive and He welcomes such musings with open arms, just as an Earthly father would welcome such inquiries from their child. A father certainly would not admonish a child for asking of things they would love clarification on and since Jehovah is the epitome of love, then He would be warm, welcoming and understanding, unconditionally. Hope my point of view makes sense to you. again thank you..jlsavell
Comment from daniela.albu
This is a great poem about the beauty of life. The reason for its length, which here is not bothersome, lies in the many blessings that exist in our earthly lives. The choice in the end is well argued for. Your poem managed to enlighten us that yes, we have Paradise here on earth, although we do not always appreciate it.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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This is a great poem about the beauty of life. The reason for its length, which here is not bothersome, lies in the many blessings that exist in our earthly lives. The choice in the end is well argued for. Your poem managed to enlighten us that yes, we have Paradise here on earth, although we do not always appreciate it.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2010
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daniela.albu, thank you for stopping by to read and review my poetic offering. I apologize for just getting back to you. jlsavell
Comment from evolove
was it your final decision, ahm our dear earth is still paradise indeed, its God gift to us because we are so special in His heart, everything about earth is special, waking up with your love ones, and more second of breath was an excellent gift, His inviattion would not be today, it ' destiny's game, isn't?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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was it your final decision, ahm our dear earth is still paradise indeed, its God gift to us because we are so special in His heart, everything about earth is special, waking up with your love ones, and more second of breath was an excellent gift, His inviattion would not be today, it ' destiny's game, isn't?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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evolove, forgive me for not quite understanding your review. At least the last part of it. I do appreciate your stopping by.Would you mind telling me how I could improve this poem? That would be most helpful in understanding your perspective..again thank you..jlsavell
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forgive me also,,, i was lost by the way.. ahmmm
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you were lost....meaning..the poem lost you?? thank you..now you go take on the day..
Comment from Kathryn Varuzza
This is a well written poem.
Interesting too.
Flows well.
Good sounds.
Great questions.
I like your rhymes.
Great rhythm
I liked it.
I like your 2nd and 3rd stanzas the best.
Good luck in the poem of the month contest.
kathryn
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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This is a well written poem.
Interesting too.
Flows well.
Good sounds.
Great questions.
I like your rhymes.
Great rhythm
I liked it.
I like your 2nd and 3rd stanzas the best.
Good luck in the poem of the month contest.
kathryn
Comment Written 17-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2010
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Kathryn Varuzza, once again I find myself thanking you for stopping by to read and review my work. I cannot tell you how much you are appreciated. jlsavell
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thank you for your kind words. And you're welcome.
kathryn
Comment from marcii
As I was reading, I thought you were being greedy wanting so much then realizing you just want what we all have , this earth and all that it has to offer, good and bad.
I like how you structured this poem making one word prominent along the way.
I enjoyed read it.
Marcii
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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As I was reading, I thought you were being greedy wanting so much then realizing you just want what we all have , this earth and all that it has to offer, good and bad.
I like how you structured this poem making one word prominent along the way.
I enjoyed read it.
Marcii
Comment Written 03-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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marcii, thank you so very much fro stopping by to read and review my poem. I appreciate yuo very much..jlsavell
Comment from fionageorge
Absolutely marvelous. Wonderful. I am laughing, I am feeling your joy of being on earth, not yet ready to enter that kingdom of heaven. I am so with you.
Loved every stanza, every word. Great rhythm, fantastic rhyme, great imagery.
Thank you for sharing.
Warmest regards, Marijke
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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Absolutely marvelous. Wonderful. I am laughing, I am feeling your joy of being on earth, not yet ready to enter that kingdom of heaven. I am so with you.
Loved every stanza, every word. Great rhythm, fantastic rhyme, great imagery.
Thank you for sharing.
Warmest regards, Marijke
Comment Written 02-Jun-2010
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2010
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fionageorge, thank you so very much. I am moved and humbled by your generous rating of my poem. again thank you so very very much..jlsavell
