Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Innocent Looks"A book of a mixture of stories
73 total reviews
Comment from jl & bandit
NICE Twist.... Of course you wolud win !!!
You never cease to amaze me with your writings !
Congrats on the win...
JL&B
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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NICE Twist.... Of course you wolud win !!!
You never cease to amaze me with your writings !
Congrats on the win...
JL&B
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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jl & bandit.
I never expect to win and when I do I'm thrilled like a kid in a candy shop. Thank you so much...Carol
Comment from angelbonetsky
I really enjoyed reading your submission. The level of detail you incorporated, really brings the charachter and the surroundings to life.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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I really enjoyed reading your submission. The level of detail you incorporated, really brings the charachter and the surroundings to life.
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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angel,
Awesome...Thank you so much for your kind words and comments, for the encouragement I draw from your support, and for the lovely stars. Smiles, Carol
Comment from adewpearl
Great twist ending - I honestly did not see it coming :-) You build suspense as well as one can with a 200 word limit, and you explain the situation well. A solid flash fiction horror story. Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Great twist ending - I honestly did not see it coming :-) You build suspense as well as one can with a 200 word limit, and you explain the situation well. A solid flash fiction horror story. Brooke :-)
Comment Written 11-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Brooke,
Glad you enjoyed the thriller. It is hard to build up the suspense with so few words. I keep practicing, hoping I'll get it right. Thanks again...Carol
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi Begin Again,
Congratulations on this winning story. You did a great job with descibing this scene in few words. I was captivated from beginning to end and the ending was quite a surprise. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Hi Begin Again,
Congratulations on this winning story. You did a great job with descibing this scene in few words. I was captivated from beginning to end and the ending was quite a surprise. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Becky,
Surprise endings are so much fun, but working them into such a short story is difficult. Glad you enjoyed. Smiles, Carol
Comment from BethShelby
Another excellent revival which it was fun to read again. Thanks for reposting it.
This is great flash fiction with a wonderful twist at the end. You built the suspense and then it seemed everything was fine and the story was going nowhere and then you zapped us with that chilling last line. I didn't see it coming. Good job.
Beth
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Another excellent revival which it was fun to read again. Thanks for reposting it.
This is great flash fiction with a wonderful twist at the end. You built the suspense and then it seemed everything was fine and the story was going nowhere and then you zapped us with that chilling last line. I didn't see it coming. Good job.
Beth
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Beth,
I am so pleased that you were surprised by the ending. Thankyou so much for the kind response. Carol
Comment from Sandollar
This was one of the scariest stories I've read so far. I love the twist at the end. You built up the terror bit by bit which made it more exciting. I think this should be one of the frontrunners in the contest. Best of luck.
I found no errors.
Sandollar
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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This was one of the scariest stories I've read so far. I love the twist at the end. You built up the terror bit by bit which made it more exciting. I think this should be one of the frontrunners in the contest. Best of luck.
I found no errors.
Sandollar
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Sandollar,
You are always so encouraging with your comments. Thank you...Carol
Comment from Ash Madox
Top entry; didn't second guess that one. Very creepy when you consider the "you never know your neighbour/relation/friend" factor in these situations. Excellent. Good luck in the contest, Carol. Cheers. Ash.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Top entry; didn't second guess that one. Very creepy when you consider the "you never know your neighbour/relation/friend" factor in these situations. Excellent. Good luck in the contest, Carol. Cheers. Ash.
Comment Written 10-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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ASh,
I'm ecstatic that I could actually pull off one of these micro fiction stories..I tend to get too wordy sometimes. Thank you so much. Carol
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Hats off to you. I've tried twice now and failed miserably. I give up :)
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I tend to confuse. We're even :)
Comment from sugardog
Okay, so that was way creepy!!! Scary!!! You really did a nice job on this horror piece. The twist at the end was really good and I had no idea that was coming. I am glad I do not have to ride the bus at night:) Good luck in the contest, Dana
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Okay, so that was way creepy!!! Scary!!! You really did a nice job on this horror piece. The twist at the end was really good and I had no idea that was coming. I am glad I do not have to ride the bus at night:) Good luck in the contest, Dana
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Dana,
Glad I sent a few chills up your spine and made you worry about what's in the dark...only for a minute though Ihope. Thanks for the kind remarks. Smiles, Carol
Comment from azwildrosa
Tommy would have been dead if the bus hadn't pulled up. i love how you ended it. great twist. i would hope to see a continence. great contest entry. best wishes.
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Tommy would have been dead if the bus hadn't pulled up. i love how you ended it. great twist. i would hope to see a continence. great contest entry. best wishes.
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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azwildrose,
Thank you for the kind review. Appreciate the comments. Carol
Comment from Vladilynn
Omg!!! I read this yesterday and I thought it's really a very scary and nice twisted story. Being the serial killer!!? Wow!! Her parents and relatives will be shocked if they'll know it.
Good luck and Thank you for sharing
Love much
Lynn:0)
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Omg!!! I read this yesterday and I thought it's really a very scary and nice twisted story. Being the serial killer!!? Wow!! Her parents and relatives will be shocked if they'll know it.
Good luck and Thank you for sharing
Love much
Lynn:0)
Comment Written 09-May-2010
reply by the author on 11-May-2010
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Lynn,
Two great minds going in two different directions but ending up on top..What more could we ask for, right? Job well done, my friend. Smiles, Carol