Ex-Wife's Outfits
Daughter plays Mom.34 total reviews
Comment from Judian James
Good one! Very believable dialogue and I loved the way the daughter took care of business. One little nit: "Just so you know, I had a long talk with her about the clothes she's been wearing lately. I told her she's been looking a little sluttish lately." I would drop the second "lately"
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Good one! Very believable dialogue and I loved the way the daughter took care of business. One little nit: "Just so you know, I had a long talk with her about the clothes she's been wearing lately. I told her she's been looking a little sluttish lately." I would drop the second "lately"
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Good catch, Jude. I eliminated it. Thanks, John
Comment from adewpearl
the outfit Mom has been wearing - capitalize Mom
You make your characters believable - the jealous wife, the tongue-tied husband, tired of being in the middle of his ex an his wife, and then the daughter who just tells it like it is and sides with her step-mom. A fun ending. While the rules call for a two person dialogue and you have three people involved by the end, it is still highly entertaining. Brooke
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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the outfit Mom has been wearing - capitalize Mom
You make your characters believable - the jealous wife, the tongue-tied husband, tired of being in the middle of his ex an his wife, and then the daughter who just tells it like it is and sides with her step-mom. A fun ending. While the rules call for a two person dialogue and you have three people involved by the end, it is still highly entertaining. Brooke
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Thanks for catching the "Mom" capitalization. I'm happy the characters came across as real. - John
Comment from Begin Again
John,
An absolutely marvelous story with and about the girls....I doon't know where you seem to find all these gorgeous pictures...are they from a private "girlfriend" collection? lol
GReat job as usual...
Carol
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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John,
An absolutely marvelous story with and about the girls....I doon't know where you seem to find all these gorgeous pictures...are they from a private "girlfriend" collection? lol
GReat job as usual...
Carol
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Well, I did travel extensively for twenty-five years, lol. As for the girls, the world would certainly be a dull place without them. Thanks for your wonderful comments, Carol.
Comment from MissMerri
Well written dialogue, well told story through the words of the characters. This was fascinating, and never a dull moment either! I admire your writing skills.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Well written dialogue, well told story through the words of the characters. This was fascinating, and never a dull moment either! I admire your writing skills.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Thank you, Miss Merri. I'm glad you enjoyed the story. - John
Comment from Belinda
Good for Becky. She saved Nancy of all the fuss of talking with her husband and hearing him defending the ex wife. Interestingly told for the dialogue contest.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Good for Becky. She saved Nancy of all the fuss of talking with her husband and hearing him defending the ex wife. Interestingly told for the dialogue contest.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Thanks for your comments, Belinda. They are most appreciated. - John
Comment from Donovan
Cleavage always wins. I have no idea if this is a good writing or dialogue...who cares...a picture is worth a...and when you are old and decrepit, addled and infirmed...who wants to read when they can have heavenly visions. Why I remember one time in Butte, Montana, circa 1932 when there was this little dime a dance dolly by the name of....
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Cleavage always wins. I have no idea if this is a good writing or dialogue...who cares...a picture is worth a...and when you are old and decrepit, addled and infirmed...who wants to read when they can have heavenly visions. Why I remember one time in Butte, Montana, circa 1932 when there was this little dime a dance dolly by the name of....
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Lol. Yes, cleavage always wins. Thanks for the fun comments. - John
Comment from fionageorge
Great entry into this contest, and the dialogue was certainly interesting and told the whole story.
Just one little pickup:
I had a long talk with her about the clothes she's been wearing lately. I told her she's been looking a little sluttish lately. (You have two 'lately's close together. I would remove the first one).
Good luck in the contest, and warmest regards,
Marijke
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Great entry into this contest, and the dialogue was certainly interesting and told the whole story.
Just one little pickup:
I had a long talk with her about the clothes she's been wearing lately. I told her she's been looking a little sluttish lately. (You have two 'lately's close together. I would remove the first one).
Good luck in the contest, and warmest regards,
Marijke
Comment Written 22-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2010
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Hi, Marijke. Thanks for catching the "lately's". I removed one. Thanks for reading. - John
Comment from sugardog
Nice job on your dialogue theme piece. I thought the dialogue was realistic and quite entertaining! Smart girl, Becky. I am glad she had the guts to let her mom know how she felt about the way she dressed. Good luck in the contest, John. Dana
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Nice job on your dialogue theme piece. I thought the dialogue was realistic and quite entertaining! Smart girl, Becky. I am glad she had the guts to let her mom know how she felt about the way she dressed. Good luck in the contest, John. Dana
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Dana. Well, we all know teenagers tell it like it is, so if her mom embarassed her, she's going to tell her. I appreciate your comments. - John
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You are right about that! You are welcome, Dana
Comment from c_lucas
For most men, a woman does have to dress to please them. They would just as soon view the bare facts. This is very well written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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For most men, a woman does have to dress to please them. They would just as soon view the bare facts. This is very well written with very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Hi, Charlie. Most men will take them any way they can get them. We're so easy, it's disgusting, lol. - John
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You're welcome, John. Just think of what would happen if God man women as horny as men. (LOL) Charlie
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One can only dream about that, lol.
Comment from Suzie B
Damn I wish I had hair like that...rotflmao.
Uh-hem, John...congrats, this is terrific, the dialogue is unfortunately totally believable from a males perspective you have done it very well indeed. Having raised my own stunner I can almost commiserate with the ex-wife.lol.
Good luck in the contest...the dialogue is great.
Suzie
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Damn I wish I had hair like that...rotflmao.
Uh-hem, John...congrats, this is terrific, the dialogue is unfortunately totally believable from a males perspective you have done it very well indeed. Having raised my own stunner I can almost commiserate with the ex-wife.lol.
Good luck in the contest...the dialogue is great.
Suzie
Comment Written 21-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2010
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Thanks, Suzie. I appreciate the fun review. - John
