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Flash Fiction

Viewing comments for Chapter 44 "Good-bye"
Collection of Flash, Micro, etc.

42 total reviews 
Comment from Sandollar
Excellent
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I really enjoyed this. It was a wonderful story with an economy of words and without the letter"s". Although it was very sad, I feel this has a good chance in the contest. Good luck.

I found no errors.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Sandollar,

    Thank you for reading and enjoying my little story. I think we all hope for the opportunity to say our last goodbye. smiles to you....
Comment from mshugh
Excellent
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Effective writing - full imapct - and excellent use of vocabulary - you spin quite an image with this piece.

Well done

Michael

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Michael,

    I am thrilled that you enjoyed this little story. It was harder to writer without the s than I thought. Smiles to you...
Comment from words
Excellent
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Well done.

Especially liked:

A tear trickled down her cheek when death entered the room.

God granted one final good-bye.

Sometimes this is enough. And, therein, is the miracle.



 Comment Written 16-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Words

    Thrilled as usual that you enjoyed this little story of mine. Thank you...Smiles to you
Comment from ms. cardshark
Excellent
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I thought about trying this one, but it sounded too difficult. You've taken a tough assignment and turned it into a touching short story. Good luck in the contest.
MM

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    MM

    I was surprised that it was difficult to write a story without an s...makes one draw on their vocabulary and thoughts for sure...Thank you....Smiles to you
Comment from skye
Excellent
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What a sweet tribute to the power of love. His love for the dying woman, her love for her daughter, and the daughter's love for both her mother and for her God.
Very very well done.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    skye,

    Thank you for connecting to this little story..I appreciate your comments. Smiles to you.
Comment from samandlancelot
Excellent
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So beautiful! I love the way your miracle was not what was expected, but that God still provided a miracle: one final good-bye. What a blessed story.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Yes, he doesn't always give us what we think we want or need, but he is always listening. smiles to you...
Comment from Shirley B
Excellent
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This writing is simply beautiful. The imagery is beautiful. I could 'see' everything happening. You did all that without using the letter's'. That is not easy to do. Good luck to you in the contest. Great job, Shirley

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Shirley,

    Thank you my dear friend. I am glad that you enjoyed the story. Smiles to you...
Comment from Curt Mongold
Excellent
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Wow, that's pretty damn good for no "s" in it. Very emotional and touches the heart of the reader without being forced. It is quite sad yet there is the last goodbye to comfort her.
Best wishes,
Curt

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Curt

    Glad that you enjoyed the story...Sad, but unfortunately part of life...but she did receive that precious gift of love. Smiles to you...
Comment from DearlB
Excellent
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This is a beautiful story told in in what I hope is considered fifty words. and will be if good-bye is counted as one word. It is the best I have read in the contest.
Best of luck,
Dearl

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Dearl,

    Thank you so much for the wonderful and thoughtful review. I am glad that you enjoyed the story. Smiles to you...
Comment from Helen Tan
Excellent
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This portrayed a clear picture of someone's last moment. Tenderness is present and you allow us to see two sides of death,of the mother's and the daughter's.

Well done within the tight word count and the "s" restraint. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 15-Feb-2010

reply by the author on 16-Feb-2010
    Helen,

    I am pleased that you enjoyed this little story. The gift of knowing her last words were I love you couldn't be a greater gift...Smiles to you...