POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "If Tomorrow Never Comes"When I dabble at things.....
50 total reviews
Comment from nancyjam
The thoughts in your poem are what touch
the reader and this is very thought provoking.
The lines flow smoothly one after the other
which makes this an enjoyable acrostic to read.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
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The thoughts in your poem are what touch
the reader and this is very thought provoking.
The lines flow smoothly one after the other
which makes this an enjoyable acrostic to read.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
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Nancy
Truly appreciate you kind comments. I am always terrified when I submit poetry..I prefer to write prose, but this one was determined to by heard. Thanks again. CArol
Comment from S.Yocom
You rhymed this acrostic in an unusual way, Carol, but I like it. It's different in that you made each word of the acrostic its own rhyming stanza. I don't recall seeing that done before, but you made it work. You presented a good message too: we should take joy in our todays and enjoy what we have now, since we may not have a tomorrow. Nicely done.
Sally
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
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You rhymed this acrostic in an unusual way, Carol, but I like it. It's different in that you made each word of the acrostic its own rhyming stanza. I don't recall seeing that done before, but you made it work. You presented a good message too: we should take joy in our todays and enjoy what we have now, since we may not have a tomorrow. Nicely done.
Sally
Comment Written 02-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2009
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Sally
I am pleased that you thought this worked because I didn't have the slightest idea what I was doing...Just writing from the heart. Thanks for the great review. CArol
Comment from nfield
Wow, in my eyes you are a true poet. As I read your work I got chills up and down my spine and nearly had tears in my eyes. That really pulled on my heart strings, well done for the fabulous way you expressed yourself. The inner searching must be done by all. Sorry to hear about your mum, keep positive. Keep on writing, its great.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Wow, in my eyes you are a true poet. As I read your work I got chills up and down my spine and nearly had tears in my eyes. That really pulled on my heart strings, well done for the fabulous way you expressed yourself. The inner searching must be done by all. Sorry to hear about your mum, keep positive. Keep on writing, its great.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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nfield
Thank you for the marvelous review. I am extremely pleased that you felt the emotions and were touched by my words. I appreciate the review. Carol
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Carol. This is a very powerful acrostic filled with hope and heart. I like the balance and doing an acrostic is not easy without being "cornball" to find uses for the first letter as you know...You have done a fine job, as I said. One suggestion..take or leave...LOL
"Cancer came a calling, demanding its place to stay" "came a calling" reduces the message to a sort of "southern twang fill in" if you know what I mean? Perhaps there is a way around using the words "a calling."
Good poem and good luck to you...Sorry about the Cancer, Carol...Bob
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Hi, Carol. This is a very powerful acrostic filled with hope and heart. I like the balance and doing an acrostic is not easy without being "cornball" to find uses for the first letter as you know...You have done a fine job, as I said. One suggestion..take or leave...LOL
"Cancer came a calling, demanding its place to stay" "came a calling" reduces the message to a sort of "southern twang fill in" if you know what I mean? Perhaps there is a way around using the words "a calling."
Good poem and good luck to you...Sorry about the Cancer, Carol...Bob
Comment Written 01-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Bob
I certainly agree but couldn't come up with another choice of words...Maybe tomorrow my brain will work better and it will come to me. Thanks for the review and the suggestions.
Carol
Comment from WRITER1
I liked your poem and I am sorry to hear about your mother. We have all had this monster creep into our lives at one time or another.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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I liked your poem and I am sorry to hear about your mother. We have all had this monster creep into our lives at one time or another.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Joy
Thank you so much for your kind comments and the review. I appreciate it very much. CArol
Comment from Belinda
I'm sorry for your mother, Carol. I hope she will recover. I admit that I stop for a moment when I come to the letter C in your acrostic, and scroll down for an explanation (and find out it does happen to your mother...)
About your poem, to me it is good. The lines flow unforced, create a vivid picture and offer sound ideas of how to better enjoy life at the present. Let others comment on poetic elements, not me :)
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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I'm sorry for your mother, Carol. I hope she will recover. I admit that I stop for a moment when I come to the letter C in your acrostic, and scroll down for an explanation (and find out it does happen to your mother...)
About your poem, to me it is good. The lines flow unforced, create a vivid picture and offer sound ideas of how to better enjoy life at the present. Let others comment on poetic elements, not me :)
Comment Written 01-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Belinda
Thank you so much. She was doing okay until yesterday, I took her out for a while and suddenly shw collapse, fainted. The paramedics could find nothing to cause it. It's the second time it has happened. She refused to go to the hospital but I have an appointment for her on Saturday. She's 89 and this scares me to death. Thanks for reading my poem. Carol
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I can understand your fear. Ah, how come it takes so long for an appointment. I wish you the best of luck, Carol...
Comment from BJean
We truly can't grow without tribulation, can we? unfortunately the saying, no pain, no gain speaks volumns.
We have only to look at Jesus to know how true!!!Very
loverly acrostic poem with nice rhyme. I believe God's kingdom is growing at this site!!! Jean
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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We truly can't grow without tribulation, can we? unfortunately the saying, no pain, no gain speaks volumns.
We have only to look at Jesus to know how true!!!Very
loverly acrostic poem with nice rhyme. I believe God's kingdom is growing at this site!!! Jean
Comment Written 01-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Jean
I am so pleased that you enjoyed my acrostic. I appreciate your kind comments. Carol
Comment from --Turtle.
I read this poem. Found it helpful today as sorrow brought his overnight sleeping bag and camped out on my back step, though I don't think I've got enough things to be sad over.
Its good to see you with one of those beat sadness away pieces, that wasn't too sweet, or overpowering, just two feet on the ground good.
I liked this... I don't know much about poems, this one seemed effective to me.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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I read this poem. Found it helpful today as sorrow brought his overnight sleeping bag and camped out on my back step, though I don't think I've got enough things to be sad over.
Its good to see you with one of those beat sadness away pieces, that wasn't too sweet, or overpowering, just two feet on the ground good.
I liked this... I don't know much about poems, this one seemed effective to me.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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turtlestage
If this poem helped you, it was worth every stressful moment I tried to put it together. A poet I am not, and writing a acrostic was an experience to say the least. I hope you kick the unwanted guest out soon.
I have a favor to ask so I am going to PM you. Take care...Carol
Comment from Nanette Mary
Hullo Carol ....
You have expressed your thoughts clearing in what you have written, fitting your lines smoothly beside the letters of your chosen words - If Tomorrow Never Comes This I Pray."
As a poem, there is room for improvement with your metre but, as free-thought writing, it reads well.
Thank you for sharing this with us. As it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Hullo Carol ....
You have expressed your thoughts clearing in what you have written, fitting your lines smoothly beside the letters of your chosen words - If Tomorrow Never Comes This I Pray."
As a poem, there is room for improvement with your metre but, as free-thought writing, it reads well.
Thank you for sharing this with us. As it is a Contest entry, I wish you well.
With love from .... Nanette Mary.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Nanette
I am the first one to say I know absolutely nothing about metre...I only wrote the thoughts from my heart. Thanks for the review. Carol
Comment from L.lora
Carol there is nothing
about this poem that
needs to be changed or
improved upon. You've done
and excellent job in constructing
this unique acrostic while it
is easy to tell that this heartfelt
write was well thought out and executed.
Your points and feelings have
been easily conveyed through this.
Bless you and your Mom, a prayer is
on the wind for you both.. Again,
an excellent offering.. Lora
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
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Carol there is nothing
about this poem that
needs to be changed or
improved upon. You've done
and excellent job in constructing
this unique acrostic while it
is easy to tell that this heartfelt
write was well thought out and executed.
Your points and feelings have
been easily conveyed through this.
Bless you and your Mom, a prayer is
on the wind for you both.. Again,
an excellent offering.. Lora
Comment Written 01-Oct-2009
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2009
-
Lora
Thank you so much for your most generous review and the kind thoughts and prayers for my mom. I appreciate it very much. Thanks again...Carol