POEMS, SONGS AND NOTES
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Our Tomorrows Will Never Come"When I dabble at things.....
44 total reviews
Comment from Shirley B
This is a lovely poem. I could feel your lonliness and heatbreak in those short ,simple words. You did an excellent job. Your words painted a very sad picture. Great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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This is a lovely poem. I could feel your lonliness and heatbreak in those short ,simple words. You did an excellent job. Your words painted a very sad picture. Great job. Shirley
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Shirley...
Thank you so much for your thoughtful remarks. It was one of those "gotcha' moments this morning that I wasn't prepared for. I'm better now thanks to wonderful friends on this site. Thank you again. Your friend, Carol
Comment from WRITER1
No mother should ever have to bury their children, life can be so unfair. The poem way very good and made the plight quite clear.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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No mother should ever have to bury their children, life can be so unfair. The poem way very good and made the plight quite clear.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Writer1....
It is the most difficult thing in the entire world. And then last Labor Day, I lost my 17 yr old grandson. Life isn't always fair....but we learn to live with it.
Thank you for your kind thoughts. your friend, Carol
Comment from cheyennewy
This is such a sad poem.. am so sorry you lost your son. No matter how many years go by you will always miss him profoundly. Since this poem has the personal element it could be classified as a senryu. Well done....blessings....chey
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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This is such a sad poem.. am so sorry you lost your son. No matter how many years go by you will always miss him profoundly. Since this poem has the personal element it could be classified as a senryu. Well done....blessings....chey
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Chey...
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and for reading my poem. I had an overwhelming morning and the poem was just there. Thanks to wonderful people on this site I am much better this evening.
Thank you so much. Your friend, Carol
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I'm so glad for you. I am no stranger to grief but I know there will be brighter days ahead for both of us..chey
Comment from c_lucas
Your brief poem tells a powerful story. Death is no respector of person. It claims the aging as well as the young. This is well written.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Your brief poem tells a powerful story. Death is no respector of person. It claims the aging as well as the young. This is well written.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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C Lucas
You are so right. Four and 17 are far to young to die, but no one asked if it was okay. Life happens and we learn to live.
Thanks so much for your comments and thoughts. Carol
Comment from blondiedots
Such a powerful poignant poem! A Beautiful example of Haiku! So much said in the few syllables allowed- a lifetime! Excellent artwork choice as well..
Blessings!
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Such a powerful poignant poem! A Beautiful example of Haiku! So much said in the few syllables allowed- a lifetime! Excellent artwork choice as well..
Blessings!
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Blondiedots..
Thank you for your kind thoughts and best wishes. They are greatly appreciated.
Your friend, Carol
Comment from pixiemillie
This haiku tugs at the heart. Putting those little things away from I assume is a son you lost- -the one you mention in your profile- -I am so sorry- -the loss of a child can be so devastating and there are always those reminders with 'things', sights, sounds, smells that will always recall that loved one. The sad and lonely satori as you put away his toy trucks and little shoes and admit to yourself that those dreams you and he had are gone as well.
thank you and I am sorry.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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This haiku tugs at the heart. Putting those little things away from I assume is a son you lost- -the one you mention in your profile- -I am so sorry- -the loss of a child can be so devastating and there are always those reminders with 'things', sights, sounds, smells that will always recall that loved one. The sad and lonely satori as you put away his toy trucks and little shoes and admit to yourself that those dreams you and he had are gone as well.
thank you and I am sorry.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Pixiemillie...
Thank you for your kind words. Michael died many years ago but his birthday always catches me off guard. Today was a "gotcha" day. Thank you for caring and for the lovely words. Your friend, Carol
Comment from words
Simple and poignant.
You expressed the grief and heartbreak simply and profoundly.
The detail is captivating:
toy trucks, tiny shoes
all our dreams now tucked away
I am so sorry for your loss.
I do not know a greater grief.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Simple and poignant.
You expressed the grief and heartbreak simply and profoundly.
The detail is captivating:
toy trucks, tiny shoes
all our dreams now tucked away
I am so sorry for your loss.
I do not know a greater grief.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Words...Thank you so much. It was a long time ago but occasionally I find myself in one of those "gotcha" moments. This morning was one of those. But thanks to wonderful people on fanstory I am smiling again.
Thank you for you kind and generous remarks. They are greatly appreciated. Your friend, Carol
Comment from Mrs Jones
Well written haiku. Self explanatory. The sorrow in these simple words pulled at my heartstrings. I then read your bio and you are one brave lady.
Good work
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Well written haiku. Self explanatory. The sorrow in these simple words pulled at my heartstrings. I then read your bio and you are one brave lady.
Good work
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Rose...Thank you for your kind and generous words. It is easier when you have friends that care. I have had many many kind words today. It was only one of those gottcha moments and now I will smile again.
Thank you so much. Your friend, Carol
Comment from jlsavell
Begin Again, first of all I must tell you if I have not before, I love your pen name. Now on to the work. This is packed with emotion and love as memories of a childhood past come flooding back. The teardrops are easily understood by any mother who has watched her child grow and leave the nest, or has had her child taken from her breast and life in death. very well done..jlsavell
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Begin Again, first of all I must tell you if I have not before, I love your pen name. Now on to the work. This is packed with emotion and love as memories of a childhood past come flooding back. The teardrops are easily understood by any mother who has watched her child grow and leave the nest, or has had her child taken from her breast and life in death. very well done..jlsavell
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Jlsavell...
Thank you so much for your kind and generous words. So many people have taken different slants on these simple words, it amazes me.
This morning was just one of those days, but I'm better now thanks to people like you. Thank you again - Carol
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Begin Again, I have just read your profile. The poem had great impact on me, but now it hit me hard. I hope in some small way we at Fanstory can lift your spirits. I am so very sorry for your loss.
Keep writing my friend,, you are very gifted.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Very good. You do a great job evoking emotion with such a few words. Here there's only thirteen words. Holy Cow!!!! They are perfect words put together to describe you son.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Very good. You do a great job evoking emotion with such a few words. Here there's only thirteen words. Holy Cow!!!! They are perfect words put together to describe you son.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2009
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2009
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Barbara....I had one those moments this morning when I was caught off guard, but thanks to friends I've made on this site I'm smiling again.
I had to make it good because the "writing police" would get me! lol
Thanks for your kind and generous words, my friend.
Carol
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Not a problem.
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Not a problem.