CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 78 "I'm 5 and a half"A collection of poetry
38 total reviews
Comment from MJMuraco
What a sweet poem through your childhood eyes! I can relate to the barbie dolls, Childcraft books, hopscotch and tag. It was well written and flowed nicely. I can't help but wonder if the kids today know the simple wonders that we had as kids. So much today is technology and some kids don't even know what it is to play outside with neighborhood kids. It is kinda sad.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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What a sweet poem through your childhood eyes! I can relate to the barbie dolls, Childcraft books, hopscotch and tag. It was well written and flowed nicely. I can't help but wonder if the kids today know the simple wonders that we had as kids. So much today is technology and some kids don't even know what it is to play outside with neighborhood kids. It is kinda sad.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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It's very unfortunate how kids don't get outside anymore. For one thing, it is the games and such. But another, is that parents keep such a watchful eye these days. So much more to worry about than in my day as a child. Remember when we'd eat breakfast and be gone for hours only to come home for lunch. Then, off we'd go again. Our parents didn't worry. My daughter, who is 23 now didn't get the freedoms I had. She did get to play with the neighborhood kids, but didn't have the wings that I did. But, she sure has them now! So glad you enjoyed this poem. Made me re-live some very happy times. And thank you for your lovely review. With regards, Sue
Comment from adewpearl
You most certainly have gotten in touch with your inner child - the word choices sound appropriate to one who is almost six and the rhymes are straightforward, not too clever for a child. The examples in each verse of things this little girl loves to do are varied and delightful, and I love her commentary on the snotty brother and hateful neighbor. This is simply precious!!!! Brooke
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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You most certainly have gotten in touch with your inner child - the word choices sound appropriate to one who is almost six and the rhymes are straightforward, not too clever for a child. The examples in each verse of things this little girl loves to do are varied and delightful, and I love her commentary on the snotty brother and hateful neighbor. This is simply precious!!!! Brooke
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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Brooke, I do love my inner child very much. Oh, she loved to wake up every morning to a brand new day. Outdoors as much as possible. And I can remember so much of my very young years. Thanks so much for this lovely review. Yours, Sue
Comment from Roisin
Ooooh!! I love it. Sorry, have no sixes left - you'll have to be happy with a five and a half, hahaha! Wonderful poem with great rhymes and rhythm. This is just the cutest age. It's funny you picked this particular age - my youngest son, who is the clown of the family, informed me today that he would be five and a half in sixteen days time!! Probably took him a month to work that one out! Anyway, well done on a great poem and good luck in the contest.
Warm regards.
Roisin
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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Ooooh!! I love it. Sorry, have no sixes left - you'll have to be happy with a five and a half, hahaha! Wonderful poem with great rhymes and rhythm. This is just the cutest age. It's funny you picked this particular age - my youngest son, who is the clown of the family, informed me today that he would be five and a half in sixteen days time!! Probably took him a month to work that one out! Anyway, well done on a great poem and good luck in the contest.
Warm regards.
Roisin
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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HA! I'll take that 5-1/2 !!! I just had to title it like that, cuz a kid is always looking to be older! As you well know. So glad you enjoyed this. Was a great time to remember. It seems I can remember my very early childhood so well. Thank you for the great review - and the "almost 6"! HA! My warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
You have written this so well sharing so many memory's of this child and I am sure for your many readers I enjoyed well presented regards Fuller
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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You have written this so well sharing so many memory's of this child and I am sure for your many readers I enjoyed well presented regards Fuller
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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Fuller, I thank you very much for this very kind review and your compliments. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from jack silver
this one was written really well. it diffidently was written the way a child would think and be and interact with the world around them. i enjoyed the read and look forward to seeing more of your work. oh i didn't see anything that needed a tweak either.
from
jack
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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this one was written really well. it diffidently was written the way a child would think and be and interact with the world around them. i enjoyed the read and look forward to seeing more of your work. oh i didn't see anything that needed a tweak either.
from
jack
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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Jack, so glad you enjoyed this little piece by that little girl! Ha! Thank you so much for your very kind compliments and review. Always appreciated, Sue
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no probs. by the way just if you wanted i have redrafted a couple of things that i was wondering if you wanted to take a look at. the first is... the first two parts of The Mask Of Shadows prologue. the second is the prologue and first chapter for the book... Darkness.
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I've just put it on my "to do" list. Hope I can get to it by the weekend! By Jack!
Comment from Minglement
this is a wonderful entry for the contest. You chose a geat rythm and rhyme scheme and it flows smoothly while giving us a child's persepective. Great job. Good luck.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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this is a wonderful entry for the contest. You chose a geat rythm and rhyme scheme and it flows smoothly while giving us a child's persepective. Great job. Good luck.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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Marcia, thank you for your very kind review and compliments. This was a very fun contest. Brought back a lot of memories. With regards, Sue
Comment from rmdelta
Ah! at last a poem even I can understand. Great piece of writing, my friend. Terrific stanzas with a nice beat as you read. Well done, Sue.
Reggie
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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Ah! at last a poem even I can understand. Great piece of writing, my friend. Terrific stanzas with a nice beat as you read. Well done, Sue.
Reggie
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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I just KNEW this one wouldn't go over your head, Reggie. I kept you in mind while writing. HA!! Thanks for the great review. Always appreciate your droppin' by. :-)) Sue
Comment from Judian James
Basically, I loved this. very sweet and endearing and you captured the child's voice well. "Ethop" rather than Aesop was very cute and clever. There are two verses that are off however: "Right now I'm playin' with my dolls
My Barbie, she's the best
Now she has her own new house
With pretty clothes, she is best dressed!" the meter's off here Sue. and again: "The best thing in the world to do Is go and see a movie
So many I don't understand
But that sure won't stop me" tweak these two, and it's golden!
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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Basically, I loved this. very sweet and endearing and you captured the child's voice well. "Ethop" rather than Aesop was very cute and clever. There are two verses that are off however: "Right now I'm playin' with my dolls
My Barbie, she's the best
Now she has her own new house
With pretty clothes, she is best dressed!" the meter's off here Sue. and again: "The best thing in the world to do Is go and see a movie
So many I don't understand
But that sure won't stop me" tweak these two, and it's golden!
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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Going back right now to have a check. Thanks so much, Jude :-))
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I can't believe I had 8 syllables in that one line where there have been 6. But, yeah, the rhythm was off anyway. I believe it is fully in iambic meter now. Thanks so much for taking the time to let me know!! And for your great review. (Yeah, had to throw Ethop in there...ha!) I just added "bestest" also. It helped me with that line! Again, thanks. If you still find it "off", let me know. :-)) Sue
Comment from dportwood
I really like the way this poem floats along with the arrangement of a ballad. Nice rhymes and nice memories. Good job and good luck in the contest.
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I really like the way this poem floats along with the arrangement of a ballad. Nice rhymes and nice memories. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
Comment from fictionwriter
I really liked the poem. I only have one question, isn't it Easops fables? Whatever it is I really loved the childhood picture that you painted. Great job.
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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I really liked the poem. I only have one question, isn't it Easops fables? Whatever it is I really loved the childhood picture that you painted. Great job.
Comment Written 27-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2009
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I wrote it ETHOPS, to sound like a little girl. And the real spelling is AESOP's Fables. But thanks for asking. One never knows if they have a spelling error! Thanks so much for your great review and very kind compliments. Regards, Sue