CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 88 "Pit Stop"A collection of poetry
38 total reviews
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
Sixteezkid, I have to admit I knew very little about car
racing (I prefer the horses) until my daughter began
dating her husband. They are both into Nascar so I've
had to learn some of the language if I want to talk to
them on most weekends. :>) I enjoyed this piece a great
deal. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Sixteezkid, I have to admit I knew very little about car
racing (I prefer the horses) until my daughter began
dating her husband. They are both into Nascar so I've
had to learn some of the language if I want to talk to
them on most weekends. :>) I enjoyed this piece a great
deal. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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LOL!!! HA!! You had to learn in order to to talk with them! That is hilarious! Good for you, though. We all learn something new every day. I don't care for the horses (only because I don't know much about it - seems very tricky to me). Thanks very much for reading and for your great review! Sue
Comment from bard owl
This is an excellent, upbeat, fun read. You put me right in the driver's seat with your heady description of racing. My granddaughter wants to be a race car driver. She may change her mind. She is only 4 but loves the feel of wind in her face. What an exhilerating read. Well, except for the ending. Wonder how many times those are the last words a racecar driver utters? Blessings to you and thank you for the ride, Linda
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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This is an excellent, upbeat, fun read. You put me right in the driver's seat with your heady description of racing. My granddaughter wants to be a race car driver. She may change her mind. She is only 4 but loves the feel of wind in her face. What an exhilerating read. Well, except for the ending. Wonder how many times those are the last words a racecar driver utters? Blessings to you and thank you for the ride, Linda
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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That word is used by more than not! HA! I've been in the pits a many a time and I can tell you, it's pure frustration. So glad you felt the exhilaration of the race! HA! Thanks for your compliments and great review! With regards, Sue
Comment from adewpearl
Selection of topic seems key with this style, and you have chosen a perfect topic for its fast-paced, jazzy style - car racing - your words are exuberant and their pace goes at the pace of a race - perfect combo of style and substance - this is highly entertaining and the rhymes are so much fun
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Selection of topic seems key with this style, and you have chosen a perfect topic for its fast-paced, jazzy style - car racing - your words are exuberant and their pace goes at the pace of a race - perfect combo of style and substance - this is highly entertaining and the rhymes are so much fun
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Yeah, I wanted to pick a fast-paced subject for this fast format. Love all your comments! Thanks for your review, Brooke. Always appreciated, Sue
Comment from Dreamdancer
Big smile,
A wonderful write and I bet one that was difficult to do. I like the style and format which brings the piece to life. Good luck with the contest my friend.... Dreamdancer
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Big smile,
A wonderful write and I bet one that was difficult to do. I like the style and format which brings the piece to life. Good luck with the contest my friend.... Dreamdancer
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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I'm starting to get used to this style and enjoy it! Thought of a 'fast' subject for the fast pace format. Thank you for your compliments and great review! :-)) Sue
Comment from jack silver
this one was written really well. i really like a good car race as well. i also like some sorts of racing games on my xbox 360. i liked and look forward to reading more.
from
jack
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this one was written really well. i really like a good car race as well. i also like some sorts of racing games on my xbox 360. i liked and look forward to reading more.
from
jack
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from Curt Mongold
Hey Cuz!
This is a great Vers Beaucoup Sue! The format is perfect, the word usage and flow is wonderful and the message is tightly delivered. I like it a lot.
Best wishes cuz!
Curt
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Hey Cuz!
This is a great Vers Beaucoup Sue! The format is perfect, the word usage and flow is wonderful and the message is tightly delivered. I like it a lot.
Best wishes cuz!
Curt
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Yo! Cuz! I was hoping I'd make you proud! A fast race for a fast pace! Ha! Big *smiles* for your review and compliments! :-)) Suz
Comment from Hitcher
A woman with a love of the racing track another layer revealed Sue. Did you know that Taupo built a brand spanking new track two years ago to host the A1 GP which by coincidence is this weekend. I went to the first one, my first ever, it was cool but I wouldn't say I'm a big fan, I do watch formula one on occasion. I think you did a great job of breathing life into Curt's vers Beaucoup, he will be very happy with your effort for sure. I was just telling him it was time for another contest, nice to see he has obliged, I have reserved a spot but don't expect to see a poem for awhile. I'm still swamped with my story in poem, I'm onto my third draft and still not happy. Great contest poem Sue, one to contend with for sure.
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A woman with a love of the racing track another layer revealed Sue. Did you know that Taupo built a brand spanking new track two years ago to host the A1 GP which by coincidence is this weekend. I went to the first one, my first ever, it was cool but I wouldn't say I'm a big fan, I do watch formula one on occasion. I think you did a great job of breathing life into Curt's vers Beaucoup, he will be very happy with your effort for sure. I was just telling him it was time for another contest, nice to see he has obliged, I have reserved a spot but don't expect to see a poem for awhile. I'm still swamped with my story in poem, I'm onto my third draft and still not happy. Great contest poem Sue, one to contend with for sure.
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
Comment from grassroots08
Flag's my goal. Engine's start, feel my heart
Flag's my goal. (Engines) start, feel my heart (Plural word only, not possessive)
But it is too small a nit to nit you on it. Just make the change and this one's good to go. Thrilling race, I was on the edge of my seat and puling for you. Did you live? LOL Thanks for the fun run here. Cheers, Don
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Flag's my goal. Engine's start, feel my heart
Flag's my goal. (Engines) start, feel my heart (Plural word only, not possessive)
But it is too small a nit to nit you on it. Just make the change and this one's good to go. Thrilling race, I was on the edge of my seat and puling for you. Did you live? LOL Thanks for the fun run here. Cheers, Don
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Oh, man...I sputtered hopelessly into the pits with smoke pouring out of that hood! HA! And I sputtered on my apostrophe! Thanks for giving me a the "green light" on that one. Consider it changed. Thanks for the great review. :-)) Sue
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Such a nice job - you made the race come right into my living room.. I don't mind, except my wife is gonna kill me, for the grease on the rug. LOL Cheers always. Don (grassroots08)
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And she'll get a monkey-wrench and tire iron after ya! HA
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How did you know those were the tools of her trade, as business director of a child care center. LOL Don
Comment from Judian James
Did you enjoy this? Interesting form isn't it? I do have few suggestions: "I'm first rate! On first turn" I think to avoid "first" twice, perhaps "on the turn" might work.
Then,:"On the straight I don't abate. No debate;
I'm doing great" "abate" and "debate" are so close in sound, perhaps:"must be fate" snuck in anywhere in place of "I don't abate" Just a few thoughts. Oh, the last line has two "need"s. One could be changed out easily!
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Did you enjoy this? Interesting form isn't it? I do have few suggestions: "I'm first rate! On first turn" I think to avoid "first" twice, perhaps "on the turn" might work.
Then,:"On the straight I don't abate. No debate;
I'm doing great" "abate" and "debate" are so close in sound, perhaps:"must be fate" snuck in anywhere in place of "I don't abate" Just a few thoughts. Oh, the last line has two "need"s. One could be changed out easily!
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2009
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Hi Jude...yeah, I just noticed the two "needs" and changed those. I see what you're saying about those extremely close rhymes. Will have another look - a little tweaking needed for diversity. I do love vers beaucoup. Picked a fast subject for a fast-paced rhythm and rhyme scheme. Thanks very much for your review and excellent suggestions! :-)) Sue
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"must be fate" sounds best and even works better in the story. Thanks very much for that! Sue
Comment from joan marie
Didn't need author's notes for this one. New Years Eve at the track with friend watching her son race. Unfortunately the different car he was trying out caught on fire. He climbed out the window safely and she began to breath again. Great write. joan marie
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Didn't need author's notes for this one. New Years Eve at the track with friend watching her son race. Unfortunately the different car he was trying out caught on fire. He climbed out the window safely and she began to breath again. Great write. joan marie
Comment Written 20-Jan-2009