A Lasting Peace Without the Tears
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Martyr!"Simply my feelings towards a lasting one.
93 total reviews
Comment from wirenut
Mike K2
a viable and w orkable poem dealing with this point from the point of view of the actual bomber rather than the victims. a bit disturbing but well written...
thanks fopr sharing
rick
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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Mike K2
a viable and w orkable poem dealing with this point from the point of view of the actual bomber rather than the victims. a bit disturbing but well written...
thanks fopr sharing
rick
Comment Written 19-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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I derived the attitude from when I was a thirteen year old boy, at least that phase has been good for something. I meant it to be disturbing and convoluted to illustrate my points. Thank you very much for your compliments and this review.
Comment from skye
Very powerful poem about a contemporary issue.
You have captured those insider feelings very well, and portrayed the martyr in terms more understandable to us, the victims.
Very strong, very well written.
My enjoyment keeping me alive.
is of murder and mayhem,
-- I would somehow like to see murder and mayhem on the same line.... they are both so powerful, that they should have the high impact from being on one line. Just a small suggestion. I know this does not fit the meter or rhyme.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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Very powerful poem about a contemporary issue.
You have captured those insider feelings very well, and portrayed the martyr in terms more understandable to us, the victims.
Very strong, very well written.
My enjoyment keeping me alive.
is of murder and mayhem,
-- I would somehow like to see murder and mayhem on the same line.... they are both so powerful, that they should have the high impact from being on one line. Just a small suggestion. I know this does not fit the meter or rhyme.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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This was easy, I was a thirteen year old boy and know the process. Luckily the adults were very punitive about this and had good right hooks. lol I quickly grew out of this line of thinking. I was also on the flip side with an out of control step-daughter and knows what it takes for peace.
I will look into your sugestion. Thank you very much for your compliments and review.
Comment from milushka
This is a strong one, my knight, it's going on and on. Martyrs, no, I think they are all blinded by hate. How can they have no doubts, how can they not question, what'r right, what's wrong? Some deficiency in the weak brain. Can't think for themselves. That's what I think, Bad upbringing.
Love,
Mila
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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This is a strong one, my knight, it's going on and on. Martyrs, no, I think they are all blinded by hate. How can they have no doubts, how can they not question, what'r right, what's wrong? Some deficiency in the weak brain. Can't think for themselves. That's what I think, Bad upbringing.
Love,
Mila
Comment Written 19-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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I had to put it out there, regardless of any consequence, I felt that strongly. Not being able to let it go, maybe I can as a American Citizen start a diplomatic to convince the countries that are ravished by this activity to point out and name the true martyrs. The innoncent victims, and take some of the stomach away from people that want to tolerate this happening.
Thank you very much for this lovely review, I am a bit overwhelmed by everything.
Comment from T.S.J.
I must say, This was so very well written.I felt as though I was right there with you, having this conversation that I would have given my eye teath not to have. This is a reality that I wish I could close my eyes and it would simply go away. Because of our sins and the sins of others we are all suffering with one thing in common. ( FEAR ) We are all in this boat together WHEN THE BOMBS START FLYING .it is my biggest fear They will not stop. What have we done !!!!!! You my dear friend deserve all six for bringing this forward. T.S.J.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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I must say, This was so very well written.I felt as though I was right there with you, having this conversation that I would have given my eye teath not to have. This is a reality that I wish I could close my eyes and it would simply go away. Because of our sins and the sins of others we are all suffering with one thing in common. ( FEAR ) We are all in this boat together WHEN THE BOMBS START FLYING .it is my biggest fear They will not stop. What have we done !!!!!! You my dear friend deserve all six for bringing this forward. T.S.J.
Comment Written 19-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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Thank you very much for your generous rating, thoughttful comments and this review.
I enjoyed the comment, "This is a reality that I wish I could close my eyes and it would simply go away." I wish for the same and many people actually do that, "As long as things don't affect me," and then we are made to feel guilty of our efforts to stem the tide by allowing terrorists no quarter. Unfortunately, the terrorists are depending on this attitude.
Comment from naji
Your defnitions of a martyr are too vague..and misleading.Death is not a prerequisite for Martyrdom in truth it is the disregard for death that falsely enshrines acts of utter stupidity that deserve our utmost loathing
I would like someone to explain how young teenage muslims were encouraged to strap explosives to their body. get on a bus with jewish mothers and children and detonate themseves. , the footpaths were awash with the blood of babies Am I to believe they are Martyrs
I am not impressed with your sentiments but I have to admit you have written an outstanding poem
naji
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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Your defnitions of a martyr are too vague..and misleading.Death is not a prerequisite for Martyrdom in truth it is the disregard for death that falsely enshrines acts of utter stupidity that deserve our utmost loathing
I would like someone to explain how young teenage muslims were encouraged to strap explosives to their body. get on a bus with jewish mothers and children and detonate themseves. , the footpaths were awash with the blood of babies Am I to believe they are Martyrs
I am not impressed with your sentiments but I have to admit you have written an outstanding poem
naji
Comment Written 19-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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I defined martyr in my notes with both the actual definition and what is my actual view on a true martyr. The last paragraph talks about news that recently occured, where a Catholic prriest was assassinated outside of his church in Iraq, still in his vestments.
I presented this poem with the zeal of a terrorist, then demonstrate their convoluted thinking and hopefull making my point to who the real martyrs are. I dedicated both the poem and the notes to the innocent souls of belief that were truely martyred. I despise the media, presenting those suicide bombers and their leaders who are taken out as they feel they are, martyrs. My sentiments were in the notes and I believe the same as yours. Thank you very much for yout compliments and review.
Comment from Lady & Louis
Hi Mike,
I wish I still had an article I read in the paper a couple of months ago; I think it would interest you. The writer mentioned being at a sort of camp - NOT a terrorist camp, more like the equivalent of a church group - for young Muslim men. He was rather keen on rushing out and fighting the infidel, but a very eminent and respected imam there told him a story about a "martyr" (read suicide bomber) reaching Heaven and being told by Allah "You did not do this for me; you never thought of me at all. You did it for your own fame and glory among your followers. You thought nothing of me; I think nothing of you. Go to Hell."
Interesting, no?
You wrote the poem well; the only thing I'd look at editorially is to cut down on the use of exclamation marks. For the most part, the wording carries the emphasis, it doesn't need 'em.
Cheers,
Louise :)
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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Hi Mike,
I wish I still had an article I read in the paper a couple of months ago; I think it would interest you. The writer mentioned being at a sort of camp - NOT a terrorist camp, more like the equivalent of a church group - for young Muslim men. He was rather keen on rushing out and fighting the infidel, but a very eminent and respected imam there told him a story about a "martyr" (read suicide bomber) reaching Heaven and being told by Allah "You did not do this for me; you never thought of me at all. You did it for your own fame and glory among your followers. You thought nothing of me; I think nothing of you. Go to Hell."
Interesting, no?
You wrote the poem well; the only thing I'd look at editorially is to cut down on the use of exclamation marks. For the most part, the wording carries the emphasis, it doesn't need 'em.
Cheers,
Louise :)
Comment Written 19-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2008
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My dear, yes that is interesting and i believe the mainstream of beliefs in every God fearing religion. A Palestinian that I talked too mentioned this and I suggested that I am sure that God would appreciate this sacrificing of one's life for thier belief, but it would be better to do it in a field alone where no innocent people get their first, lest they get to heaven before him. I view him as a nice person, but so enraged with hatred, I have my way of speaking to him. He makes sure that we don't meet too often. lol
Thank you very much for this review and your compliments.
Comment from Oatmeal
Mike K2,
Nice poem. The theme was well chosen. Your descriptions were well written. The flow was good.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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Mike K2,
Nice poem. The theme was well chosen. Your descriptions were well written. The flow was good.
There was no SPAG. No typos. No homophones. No problems at all.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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I got a couple of bucks, usually I have to post with only a certicicate. To me this poem was important. Thank you very much for your compliments and review.
Comment from smiles_with_sunshine
>>>M>i>k>e>>K>2>>>
This is what came to mind when I read your poem:
Ephesians 6:12......For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Wars and rumors of war
...killing...martyrdom...victims...refugees...and all the other words assigned to it...There is nothing new under the sun. Until people's heart's let go of hatred and violence, which stems from a self-consumed ego, things will never change. It will always be about "them" and what "they" want. Religion, unfortuantely, feeds this mindset...religion, is twisted and perverted by those in power to keep people subjected to them...using fear and intimidation to accomplish their agendas.
ANYWAY...excellent writing, Mike K2. BTW, I Live 30 miles northwest of Baltimore. In the little over four years I've been a member of fanstory, I've only come across one other member who was from Maryland. So, HELLO, fellow Marylander!
Take care and "be" blessed.
:)s* smiles
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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>>>M>i>k>e>>K>2>>>
This is what came to mind when I read your poem:
Ephesians 6:12......For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Wars and rumors of war
...killing...martyrdom...victims...refugees...and all the other words assigned to it...There is nothing new under the sun. Until people's heart's let go of hatred and violence, which stems from a self-consumed ego, things will never change. It will always be about "them" and what "they" want. Religion, unfortuantely, feeds this mindset...religion, is twisted and perverted by those in power to keep people subjected to them...using fear and intimidation to accomplish their agendas.
ANYWAY...excellent writing, Mike K2. BTW, I Live 30 miles northwest of Baltimore. In the little over four years I've been a member of fanstory, I've only come across one other member who was from Maryland. So, HELLO, fellow Marylander!
Take care and "be" blessed.
:)s* smiles
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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Well hello! It has been a while. I'm in Parkville. Thank you very much for this review and your compliments. You pick a very good passage, I appreciated it and feel that it is true.
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Parkville is in Baltimore County, right? I'm in Finksburg...in Carroll County...Thanks for your reply.
:)s* smiles
Comment from AlvinTEthington
This is a good poem, distinguishing true Islam to the descendants of the violent Wahhabi movement of the 19th century in Arabia. The punctuation is a little odd (e. g. this paragraph:
To people of my religion, that
might have a better view.
In sending out my message.
Sorry, I also have to sacrifice you!
might be better punctuated as
To people of my religion that
might have a better view:
In sending out my message--
Sorry, I also have to sacrifice you!
Of course, the point of view here is odd, as well, as the militant speaking would not think mainstream Islam would have a better view.
You do point out well how these people are glorified by others and that is what keeps them going. The anger at four centuries of colonialism is underlying throughout the Muslim world and that is what the terrorists play upon.
Also the author's notes are quite long. They might better posted as a separate essay. Certainly the poem can stand on its own. The author's notes could stand on its own as a separate essay as well.
But my criticism are minor. The poem flows well, the subtle rhyme scheme works well, and you make your point well.
Good job.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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This is a good poem, distinguishing true Islam to the descendants of the violent Wahhabi movement of the 19th century in Arabia. The punctuation is a little odd (e. g. this paragraph:
To people of my religion, that
might have a better view.
In sending out my message.
Sorry, I also have to sacrifice you!
might be better punctuated as
To people of my religion that
might have a better view:
In sending out my message--
Sorry, I also have to sacrifice you!
Of course, the point of view here is odd, as well, as the militant speaking would not think mainstream Islam would have a better view.
You do point out well how these people are glorified by others and that is what keeps them going. The anger at four centuries of colonialism is underlying throughout the Muslim world and that is what the terrorists play upon.
Also the author's notes are quite long. They might better posted as a separate essay. Certainly the poem can stand on its own. The author's notes could stand on its own as a separate essay as well.
But my criticism are minor. The poem flows well, the subtle rhyme scheme works well, and you make your point well.
Good job.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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Have you ever talked to a Palestinian, the person I did is a nice person that teaches that Islam is the perfect religion, no sin and no vice. Then his anger takes hold and he rails that the terrorists are freedom fighter and you can't blame them for how they are because that is all that they have. I handled it lightly and let him know that I ranged his house and he wouldn't appreciate rockets raining down on him. He didn't like it, but saw my point. My house was under threat because of my step-daughter for a while, our police are like the UN. Things didn't get solved until I made the decision and took the risk to meet it head on, it all stopped.
Thank you for the sugestion on better punctuation, I will follow it. Also you compliments and this review.
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I taught Islam on the lower college level (freshman and sophomore) for years. I had more than a few Muslims in my class. The relationship between the terrorists and mainstream Islam is akin to the relationship between abortion clinic bombers and mainline Christianity. Neither religion condones violence. Islam comes from the same Arabic triconsonantal root (SLM) as does the word "salaam (Arabic for "peace.")"
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I thank you for filling me in on this. My knowledge of Islam is more of a patchwork nature, in understanding this I have respect for all religions and cultures and in fact my life has gained from that. Most of my interchange with them was over Halal cooking as I wanted a good Mutton birayni recipe. The didn't know who the rules applied to an outsider and wouldn't try my food that I had faithfully prepare.
They had many misconceptions of Christianity, based on part the example many Christians set. I opened the door because I was talking about God to the American behind the counter and an Iranian girl was getting huffy. I sort of lost it and stated, "Excuse me did I insult Islam or Allah? No, I did not, but if your enjoy being insulted I recomend that you become Christian, they not only draw a picture of Allah, they pee on it and call it art!" She didn't know what to do, but it opened the door on conversation and I was asked about being christian, I mentioned that I am of the more traditional cave dwelling variety but most Muslims don't realize that Christianity start off with the Apostil or Nicene Creed, "I believe in one God, the Father..." This actually opened the door to them stating how they believed. Have a good evening, I enjoyed this.
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Islam is the only other religion to honor Jesus (though some make the case for Hinduism, but that's not germane to the subject here.) Islam teaches that Isa (Arabic for Jesus) was a nabi (Arabic for prophet) and a razul (Arabic for messenger of God.) It also teaches that Moses was given the Torah, David the Psalms, Jesus the Injil (Arabic for "Gospel", which can refer to the whole New Testament), and Muhammad the Qur'an. The first three are incomplete revelations--the Qur'an is the true and perfect revelation.
The crucifix in urine is a reference to a case that took place years ago in Cincinnati over funding from the National Endowment of the Arts of a supposed "piece of art" that depicted just that. The jury decided that it could be considered art (Cincinnati had actually been chosen as a test case because of its conservative nature) although it could be reprehensible. Certainly most Christians were appalled by it. I was. But the jury opted for "freedom of expression" over censorship.
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If you want to know the rules for halal (the Muslim equivalent of kosher), they are in the fifth sura (chapter) of the Qur'an entitled "The Table." However, if you read the Qur'an in translation, most Muslims do not think you are reading the Qur'an but rather an interpretation of the Qur'an. They are right in one sense--that all translation is interpretation. The best action to follow is to go to a halal butcher and ask him to prepare halal meat and ask him for a recipe. Hope that helps.
Comment from wizard_of_oz
Horrible but you painted someone of strong belief and portrayed the inner feelings of this so called Martyr. As far as they are concerned everything they do is right. I like the strong words that emphasized the emotions of this poem. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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Horrible but you painted someone of strong belief and portrayed the inner feelings of this so called Martyr. As far as they are concerned everything they do is right. I like the strong words that emphasized the emotions of this poem. Well done.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2008
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2008
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Thank you very much for the compliments and this review. Sometimes you can craft the words to bend around to mask your intent, but careful observation and a sense of right and wrong can remove that mask.
