How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Sweet Exegesis"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
81 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
Oh, no - your last post on critting!
I have to say it's been helpful, interesting
and thought-provoking, Jay.
A worthwhile read
Margaret
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Oh, no - your last post on critting!
I have to say it's been helpful, interesting
and thought-provoking, Jay.
A worthwhile read
Margaret
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Many thanks, Margaret. Any others will be more random in nature.
Comment from Sis Cat
An excellent and informative essay that analyzed pov characters. You use an Alice Munro story to question, "Have you isolated the point of view character (s)? Have you tested other characters to see how the story would be altered with a different pov character? Whose story is it? The same as the pov character? Are you certain?"
Dissecting a writer's story and puzzling the choices she made is not only a good task for the critter, but also a good task for the writer. I learn much from reading your critter essays. I can apply this knowledge to my writing and to my reviews. Thank you again for sharing and informing.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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An excellent and informative essay that analyzed pov characters. You use an Alice Munro story to question, "Have you isolated the point of view character (s)? Have you tested other characters to see how the story would be altered with a different pov character? Whose story is it? The same as the pov character? Are you certain?"
Dissecting a writer's story and puzzling the choices she made is not only a good task for the critter, but also a good task for the writer. I learn much from reading your critter essays. I can apply this knowledge to my writing and to my reviews. Thank you again for sharing and informing.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Bless you, Andre. I'm happy, more than you can imagine, having you around for the entire series.
Comment from krprice
Ben, the father,. . . After a lackluster sales day, . . .Veiled commentary (delete that)
Why did Alice Munro. . . Rather than. . . conclusion (delete that)
On the way home. . . my father does. . .licorice (delete that)
The whiskey (not whisky). . .
Good essay and excellent series.
Karlene
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Ben, the father,. . . After a lackluster sales day, . . .Veiled commentary (delete that)
Why did Alice Munro. . . Rather than. . . conclusion (delete that)
On the way home. . . my father does. . .licorice (delete that)
The whiskey (not whisky). . .
Good essay and excellent series.
Karlene
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Whisky or Whiskey? Both spellings are correct, despite Mr. Spell-check. Mostly it depends on where one hails from.
Now, as far as the "delete thats" go ... why? You could develop a good case for "veiled commentary" since it pretty much restates "innuendo", but I'm just guessing at your rationale. Don't you think you should state your reasons for your opinions? It would really be helpful.
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Good suggestion about stating my reasons. I never thought of that.
Sometimes the choice of deleting 'that' is tricky because it sounds all right either way. Guess in that case a writer should leave it in.
Karlene
Comment from Eigle Rull
There is nothing I can do but give you a well earned six star for this wonderful learning experience. You have shown the reader house to check out a short story in a couple of passes. I truly enjoyed this learning session. It was fantastic. You are a wonderful, interesting writer, my friend. Thank you for sharing this. It was perfect.
Always with respect,
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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There is nothing I can do but give you a well earned six star for this wonderful learning experience. You have shown the reader house to check out a short story in a couple of passes. I truly enjoyed this learning session. It was fantastic. You are a wonderful, interesting writer, my friend. Thank you for sharing this. It was perfect.
Always with respect,
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Elgie. I'm glad you stayed with me the entire series and seemed to enjoy it.
Comment from Antoine Charlemaine
...and we, your faithful readers, breathe a huge sigh of relief! It's over!
I think I may have said this before, but I'll say it again. Is this not more a lengthy essay on the art of writing than reviewing? As such, it is superb. As a "Guide to Reviewing" I am doubtful. I think you may have set out to achieve one thing and inadvertently achieved quite another. Do all these things really pass through your mind as you read a piece on FS? Really? REALLY? After this, most of us mere mortals will be mortally afraid of subjecting our precious works to the scrutiny of Jay Squires!!! :)
Ant (good name for a 'critter', eh?)
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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...and we, your faithful readers, breathe a huge sigh of relief! It's over!
I think I may have said this before, but I'll say it again. Is this not more a lengthy essay on the art of writing than reviewing? As such, it is superb. As a "Guide to Reviewing" I am doubtful. I think you may have set out to achieve one thing and inadvertently achieved quite another. Do all these things really pass through your mind as you read a piece on FS? Really? REALLY? After this, most of us mere mortals will be mortally afraid of subjecting our precious works to the scrutiny of Jay Squires!!! :)
Ant (good name for a 'critter', eh?)
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Well, Lord, no, Ant! How could I possibly spend as much time critting a Fan Story piece than I spent with this. I think you already knew that and were just playing with me. Right?
Hmmm, most of the crits I got didn't suggest they were breathing a sigh of relief it's over. But it's good to know at least one did and was candid enough to say it.
Yes, they were rather lengthy essays. And yes, at some point it transitioned more to writing than reviewing. I even mentioned that in one of the essays.
Honestly, what I do find rather hurtful is your veiled sarcasm in your use of the words "mere mortals" to the writers whose "precious works" might be subjected "to the scrutiny of Jay Squires!!! I'm sorry Ant, but a happy face doesn't dilute the intention of three exclamation points.
I am disappointed.
Comment from jpduck
A detailed and meticulous analysis of story structure and design, I thought.
'While we would like to think each decision was mapped out in advance, the truth is many are happy (and some not-so-happy) accidents.' (Yes, yes, yes. Detailed planning, while sounding very sensible, can be a vicious killer of promising concepts. I find one of the wonders of writing are those awesome and intermittent occasions where one of the characters takes over the writing).
I thought your analysis of POV issues was particularly useful. But I was surprised that (apart from a cursory mention to a 'third person') you did not include the omniscient narrator's POV. Possibly (though I don't think so) you regard her as a deadly and old-fashioned millstone. There are risks attached, of course, but its that omniscience that can weave magic.
Maybe you intend this as part of your future additions; I do hope so. And while you're at it, it might be worth mentioning the powerful possibilities of multiple POVs.
Adrian
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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A detailed and meticulous analysis of story structure and design, I thought.
'While we would like to think each decision was mapped out in advance, the truth is many are happy (and some not-so-happy) accidents.' (Yes, yes, yes. Detailed planning, while sounding very sensible, can be a vicious killer of promising concepts. I find one of the wonders of writing are those awesome and intermittent occasions where one of the characters takes over the writing).
I thought your analysis of POV issues was particularly useful. But I was surprised that (apart from a cursory mention to a 'third person') you did not include the omniscient narrator's POV. Possibly (though I don't think so) you regard her as a deadly and old-fashioned millstone. There are risks attached, of course, but its that omniscience that can weave magic.
Maybe you intend this as part of your future additions; I do hope so. And while you're at it, it might be worth mentioning the powerful possibilities of multiple POVs.
Adrian
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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I am a strong believer in omniscient points of view. I also know it is one of the most complex "voices" to bring off. I don't know too many here who are consistently efficient in its use. I don't want to fail to thank you, Adrian, for your loyalty to this series.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
A bit more wordy than it needed to be, but you made some good points. A short story would likely have just one pov, but novels that are not first person have several in different scenes. I plan to start writing short stories after this book, so I'll keep pov in mind and may even try first person, which I hate for novels, btw.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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A bit more wordy than it needed to be, but you made some good points. A short story would likely have just one pov, but novels that are not first person have several in different scenes. I plan to start writing short stories after this book, so I'll keep pov in mind and may even try first person, which I hate for novels, btw.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Phyllis, for your candor. I'll look forward to reading your short stories. I'll bet you're good at them.
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I've only written a few, but one was Story of the Month here recently. My problem is getting ideas. Seems like everything has already been done.
Comment from Annette Gulliver
I'm sorry to see that this will be your last post on critting, Jay. I have learned so much from you crits, and from now on will go to your portfolio to make sure I am keeping up to speed. Hey, mate, you should set yourself up in business as a tutor for writing classes, as you go into much more depth and details than most of them do.
Annette
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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I'm sorry to see that this will be your last post on critting, Jay. I have learned so much from you crits, and from now on will go to your portfolio to make sure I am keeping up to speed. Hey, mate, you should set yourself up in business as a tutor for writing classes, as you go into much more depth and details than most of them do.
Annette
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Annette. I appreciate your compliment. Also, I appreciate the fact that you've been with me so long.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is yet another interesting insight into critiquing by the author here. This is an in-depth look at this story and gives several viewpoints about the perspective that the story is told from. I would have went for the father, but the little girl is interesting. Well done yet again.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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This is yet another interesting insight into critiquing by the author here. This is an in-depth look at this story and gives several viewpoints about the perspective that the story is told from. I would have went for the father, but the little girl is interesting. Well done yet again.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thanks, Tomes. I appreciate your comments as always.
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Not a problem
Comment from Curly Girly
Well, that was a detailed analysis of that story and of its point of view character and potential characters. Personally, I am not familiar with that story, but the way you explained it and brought it all to life, I feel as if I am already familiar with it. Well done and all so well said, Jay. This chapter is reminiscent of one of my high school English class lessons.
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Well, that was a detailed analysis of that story and of its point of view character and potential characters. Personally, I am not familiar with that story, but the way you explained it and brought it all to life, I feel as if I am already familiar with it. Well done and all so well said, Jay. This chapter is reminiscent of one of my high school English class lessons.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 07-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Nicole. I'm glad you found it worthwhile.