How This Critter Crits
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Three More Illusion Crashers"GROWTH? ADULATION? HURRY -- CHOOSE!
95 total reviews
Comment from krprice
Excellent essay. I did not find any punctuation issues.
I have certainly enjoyed this series. I reminds me of what I should and shouldn't do.
However, I'd like to know when you're going to post more on Doctorex.
Karlene
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Excellent essay. I did not find any punctuation issues.
I have certainly enjoyed this series. I reminds me of what I should and shouldn't do.
However, I'd like to know when you're going to post more on Doctorex.
Karlene
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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You see right through me Karlene. I have a massive block where I've put Doctrex. It sounds like it's coming from the mouth of a 5th grader. I promised myself I would get back to it when the Critter series is over. Thanks, Karlene. It's so good to hear from you again.
Comment from Annette Gulliver
Hi Jay. Loads of good advice once again from your great critting mind. I have read, and hopefully absorbed, the advice, and will dive back into my present chapter to look out for author intrusions before you spot them. However, when you find any I am sure you will let me know. I do try to pay attention,
Annette
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Hi Jay. Loads of good advice once again from your great critting mind. I have read, and hopefully absorbed, the advice, and will dive back into my present chapter to look out for author intrusions before you spot them. However, when you find any I am sure you will let me know. I do try to pay attention,
Annette
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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I know your are one of the more mature readers I crit. I know I don't have to pull my punches as much with you. The ones who need help the least are almost always the ones who beg for more. I think it's the mark of a serious writer.
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Thanks for having confidence in me, Jay.
Annette
Comment from padumachitta
Hi Joy...more excellent advice and infromation
author intrusion: I hate this most, I am not stupid and hate being spoon fed my 'written word'...geeez.
I like a little 'back story', but so few writers can handle that well.
I am keeping notes...read a story of mine the other day and cringed...it is under edit...so, you see, I am working on things...with your guidance
padumachitta
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Hi Joy...more excellent advice and infromation
author intrusion: I hate this most, I am not stupid and hate being spoon fed my 'written word'...geeez.
I like a little 'back story', but so few writers can handle that well.
I am keeping notes...read a story of mine the other day and cringed...it is under edit...so, you see, I am working on things...with your guidance
padumachitta
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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What I remember most about your writing, Padumachitta, is your "turning off the internal critic" as you do the creative part of your writing. I wish I could do more of that. It has made you so much more an honest writer. The stuff I'm offering here is to use for the editing process, though I hope it does positively effect the unrestrained "critic-less" writer automatically as we write.
Comment from Spitfire
I couldn't believe those horrid examples of intrusion. (I might also mention here that the name Buford really spoiled the mood as did Taco Bell--which is another point you might bring up. Avoid names with humorous connotations )
The all dialogue bit made me think of bad script writers. I enjoyed the points made about getting information to the reader--what not to do. I have to keep that in mind when writing my current bio. You're right. It's hard work. I spend at least ten hours off and on if not more with each chapter. I appreciate all the suggestions I get and do try to implement them. I'll read this again before posting my next one.
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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I couldn't believe those horrid examples of intrusion. (I might also mention here that the name Buford really spoiled the mood as did Taco Bell--which is another point you might bring up. Avoid names with humorous connotations )
The all dialogue bit made me think of bad script writers. I enjoyed the points made about getting information to the reader--what not to do. I have to keep that in mind when writing my current bio. You're right. It's hard work. I spend at least ten hours off and on if not more with each chapter. I appreciate all the suggestions I get and do try to implement them. I'll read this again before posting my next one.
Comment Written 28-May-2015
reply by the author on 28-May-2015
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Coming from someone I admire to no end, Shari, I am humbled to think you would reference this for your writing, which I consider a benchmark for excellence. Thank you, my dear.
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With that flattery, I'll sign off for the night and hope to skip the nightmares of getting lost in the jungle (That was toward morning!)
Comment from Spiritual Echo
As you do, Mr. Squires. I've been on this site for six years, and above anyone else--I mean it--you are the single measure I use to determine my literary health. Yes, your spag alerts are meaningful and appreciate when I tell my 'staory.' Yes, I got the message. More importantly, KNOWING YOU ARE ON MY SIDE AND EXPECT CERTAIN STANDARDS, SOMEHOW KEEPS ME OUT OF THE DITCH, SUCCUMBING TO CHEAP TRICKS. Did I need to capitalize that for emphasis?
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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As you do, Mr. Squires. I've been on this site for six years, and above anyone else--I mean it--you are the single measure I use to determine my literary health. Yes, your spag alerts are meaningful and appreciate when I tell my 'staory.' Yes, I got the message. More importantly, KNOWING YOU ARE ON MY SIDE AND EXPECT CERTAIN STANDARDS, SOMEHOW KEEPS ME OUT OF THE DITCH, SUCCUMBING TO CHEAP TRICKS. Did I need to capitalize that for emphasis?
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Aw, Ingrid, I can't teach the Candadian Mavin anything new. I just know if I look hard and deeply enough I might catch you with your censor down. Not often and not major. You are very kind, anyway, for saying so. Then you backed it up with a sixer! Thanks you, my dear.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for loading us beginners up on points to assist in honing our craft and, hope that some day, we can deliver endearing qualities that will make our stories a pleasure to read. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thanks for loading us beginners up on points to assist in honing our craft and, hope that some day, we can deliver endearing qualities that will make our stories a pleasure to read. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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THanks for reading, Ric. I'm glad you found this helpful.
Comment from chasennov
Three Romps with Mark and Mary Down Dialogue Drive How This Critter Crits Three More Illusion Crashers.' I have again had the pleasure to read one of your Crits, Jay. I particularly enjoyed the end; 'And that,' as dear Robert Frost would--and did--conclude: 'that makes all the difference.' Well done.
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Three Romps with Mark and Mary Down Dialogue Drive How This Critter Crits Three More Illusion Crashers.' I have again had the pleasure to read one of your Crits, Jay. I particularly enjoyed the end; 'And that,' as dear Robert Frost would--and did--conclude: 'that makes all the difference.' Well done.
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Thanks, Chas. I'm glad you enjoyed this one as well.
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You are most welcome.
Comment from boxergirl
Excellent post, Jay. Transitions are such a vital part of good writing and your descriptive three examples show us how not to crush the illusions of the reader. Very helpful instruction. 8-)
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Excellent post, Jay. Transitions are such a vital part of good writing and your descriptive three examples show us how not to crush the illusions of the reader. Very helpful instruction. 8-)
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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I'm happy it resonated with you, Karen. It seems such an under recognized area in critting.
Comment from Adri7enne
I can see your expertise when it comes to writing. You recognize it mentally, like a science. I get into a good book, but I don't often stop to analyse what makes it work. You suggest breaking it down in an intellectual way. I can see how well that works for you.
I read mostly for the joy of it - how the writer plays on my emotions with his characters and his settings. You've really broken down the process. I envy you your analytical mind. I particularly enjoyed the last section where you clearly set out the process - what the problem is with the writer who wants to get to the point as quickly as possible. He robs the reader of the illusion he is "cavorting" with the characters. The reader doesn't want to meet the author among them.
Well done, Jay. You're one hell of a teacher!
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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I can see your expertise when it comes to writing. You recognize it mentally, like a science. I get into a good book, but I don't often stop to analyse what makes it work. You suggest breaking it down in an intellectual way. I can see how well that works for you.
I read mostly for the joy of it - how the writer plays on my emotions with his characters and his settings. You've really broken down the process. I envy you your analytical mind. I particularly enjoyed the last section where you clearly set out the process - what the problem is with the writer who wants to get to the point as quickly as possible. He robs the reader of the illusion he is "cavorting" with the characters. The reader doesn't want to meet the author among them.
Well done, Jay. You're one hell of a teacher!
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Adrienne, you've made my day, my week--geez, my month! Thank you, my dear, and of course, for the brilliant six!
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was an excellent summary of the axiom that 'if the reader needs to know something, then show it to him'. You could easily, and legitimately, have written this as a learned essay. But you chose to use the more complex, and infinitely better 'route', and insisted you took your beloved friend, Metaphor, with you, rather than let him have the day off. Great stuff.
Adrian
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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I thought this was an excellent summary of the axiom that 'if the reader needs to know something, then show it to him'. You could easily, and legitimately, have written this as a learned essay. But you chose to use the more complex, and infinitely better 'route', and insisted you took your beloved friend, Metaphor, with you, rather than let him have the day off. Great stuff.
Adrian
Comment Written 27-May-2015
reply by the author on 27-May-2015
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Adrian, thanks so much for your kindness. I've enjoyed overdoing the personal injection of self into these posts. Most like it. Some say it should be summarized down to a few paragraphs.
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Kindly ignore the miserable summarisers
Adrian