Awkward
Dialogue only27 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Seems he's not the brightest tool in the shed if he didn't expect her to be upset. I guess if he invited her to the restaurant to ask for a divorce then he should pay the bill. Hope they ate first before he brought up the subject of divorce!!!
Wendy
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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Seems he's not the brightest tool in the shed if he didn't expect her to be upset. I guess if he invited her to the restaurant to ask for a divorce then he should pay the bill. Hope they ate first before he brought up the subject of divorce!!!
Wendy
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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Your review is so very kind and generous.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I think she is gutless and rude to bring him to a restaurant to ask him for a divorce. If I were him I wouldn't have paid the bill but would have walked out of the restaurant and made a scene by doing so. This is excellently written and as a dialogue-only entry, it more than makes a point. It makes it clear who is the boss in the family.
Jesse
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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I think she is gutless and rude to bring him to a restaurant to ask him for a divorce. If I were him I wouldn't have paid the bill but would have walked out of the restaurant and made a scene by doing so. This is excellently written and as a dialogue-only entry, it more than makes a point. It makes it clear who is the boss in the family.
Jesse
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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Thank you so much Jesse.
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You asked my honest opinion so I gave it.
I had hoped to hear what you thought about my reaction.
Jesse
Comment from lyenochka
Well, he's not man enough to remain true to his wedding vows. I guess he didn't really mean "for better or worse." I guess the ending means the wife will collect a lot of alimony...
Best wishes in the contest!
"Is that what your worried about, (you're)
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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Well, he's not man enough to remain true to his wedding vows. I guess he didn't really mean "for better or worse." I guess the ending means the wife will collect a lot of alimony...
Best wishes in the contest!
"Is that what your worried about, (you're)
Comment Written 09-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2024
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Thank you for the help.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hey Don.
The dialogue starts out by setting up the tension in the story which is certainly a requirement for short stories. It's interesting he takes her to a quiet place and is surprised when the volumes of the conversation rise up. This is a good story about conflict and doing things the wrong way. You tell the story well.
I spotted a typo you may want to correct. "Is that what "your" worried about... Should be "you're."
I wish you the best luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2024
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Hey Don.
The dialogue starts out by setting up the tension in the story which is certainly a requirement for short stories. It's interesting he takes her to a quiet place and is surprised when the volumes of the conversation rise up. This is a good story about conflict and doing things the wrong way. You tell the story well.
I spotted a typo you may want to correct. "Is that what "your" worried about... Should be "you're."
I wish you the best luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2024
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Thank you, Robert, for catching my error.
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You're welcome.
Comment from pome lover
well, er um, Don,
I think he's a jerk. And as for paying for dinner, I am from the south, born and raised in GA, though now live in TX, anyway when guys asked a female
out for a meal, he always paid. I guess, now people take turns, or something. Or business people did, maybe, or just paid for their own, but in this case, he was a double jerk, and I'd say good riddance! You wrote the guy. What do you think???
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2024
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well, er um, Don,
I think he's a jerk. And as for paying for dinner, I am from the south, born and raised in GA, though now live in TX, anyway when guys asked a female
out for a meal, he always paid. I guess, now people take turns, or something. Or business people did, maybe, or just paid for their own, but in this case, he was a double jerk, and I'd say good riddance! You wrote the guy. What do you think???
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2024
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I love women, I always have, since early grade school I have thought that females were a gift from God. Vicki assures me that I am right. I do not understand divorce under any circumstances. But...I am a luck guy.
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you are, indeed! and so is she!
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Thank you poem lover.
Comment from lancellot
I think considering FanStory is mostly an older Female dominated site. This will go over very well. It paints the man in the negative without harming the female's character. Smart. I can see this getting lots of reviews, because of three main reasons, and it will likely make it to the winner's circle. Good idea.
"Thats right, you jerk, you get your wallet out."
-"That's right, you jerk, you get your wallet out."
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2024
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I think considering FanStory is mostly an older Female dominated site. This will go over very well. It paints the man in the negative without harming the female's character. Smart. I can see this getting lots of reviews, because of three main reasons, and it will likely make it to the winner's circle. Good idea.
"Thats right, you jerk, you get your wallet out."
-"That's right, you jerk, you get your wallet out."
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2024
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Thank you for catching my error, I appreciate your help.
Comment from kahpot
Well, I think at least he did not text you of his intentions, and I hope you at least had your meal before he was made to pay, and that you went home alone-first, and locked all the doors, and I do hope you created and real big scene, I love the way your words take us on this journey of ruined expectations, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
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reply by the author on 08-Dec-2024
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Well, I think at least he did not text you of his intentions, and I hope you at least had your meal before he was made to pay, and that you went home alone-first, and locked all the doors, and I do hope you created and real big scene, I love the way your words take us on this journey of ruined expectations, very well written, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2024
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Not a true story, at least not in Vicki and my story. Thank you for the kind review.
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Sorry, I did realize it was not a story about yourselves, I just immersed myself in the characters, I should have explained that in my comments
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No worries, I was just trying to be light in my response.