Shrouded
Three-six-nine35 total reviews
Comment from Jacob1395
I think you describe the feeling of loneliness really well in this piece, particularly with the feeling of being removed from space and time I thought that was particularly haunting and well written. I really enjoyed reading your piece. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
  |
I think you describe the feeling of loneliness really well in this piece, particularly with the feeling of being removed from space and time I thought that was particularly haunting and well written. I really enjoyed reading your piece. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
-
Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from Tim Margetts
When my legs worked properly, I loved walking the wooded hills just outside my town. We are perched right on the coast, so the sea air can bring in just the sort of fog you describe, lacing the hills with mystery and solitude.
Your poem resonated within me. Thank you,
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
|
When my legs worked properly, I loved walking the wooded hills just outside my town. We are perched right on the coast, so the sea air can bring in just the sort of fog you describe, lacing the hills with mystery and solitude.
Your poem resonated within me. Thank you,
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
-
Thank you so much Tim.
Comment from Begin Again
The sweet, carefree days of childhood have passed, and now, as adults, we often find ourselves lost and troubled in a sea of fog, not knowing how we will find the light again. We pray for the "light" and the hand to bring us out of the darkness. We are never alone because He is always there.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
|
The sweet, carefree days of childhood have passed, and now, as adults, we often find ourselves lost and troubled in a sea of fog, not knowing how we will find the light again. We pray for the "light" and the hand to bring us out of the darkness. We are never alone because He is always there.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
-
You are very kind Carol.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Your words perfectly describe the image you have included. I can remember times, going for runs in the dense fog, when I have felt invisible, hidden within the vapor.
I get the "loneliness" and "solitude" in this situation. And you end well with the longing for "illumination" - perhaps the sun to cut through the fog.
The only thing I got hung up on was "compassion less". It is one word, not two, and I kept wanting to read it as "less deep longing" because it was separated from compassion.
Just a thought.
Good luck in the contest - this is a super presentation.
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
|
Your words perfectly describe the image you have included. I can remember times, going for runs in the dense fog, when I have felt invisible, hidden within the vapor.
I get the "loneliness" and "solitude" in this situation. And you end well with the longing for "illumination" - perhaps the sun to cut through the fog.
The only thing I got hung up on was "compassion less". It is one word, not two, and I kept wanting to read it as "less deep longing" because it was separated from compassion.
Just a thought.
Good luck in the contest - this is a super presentation.
xo
Pam
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
-
Thank you, Pam, I will check out your suggestion.
Comment from Senyai
Hi DonandVicki,
This is wonderful. You followed the 3-6-9 format to a tee and nothing felt contrived or mechanical. You are an artisan with words. Also the misty photo to accompany presents your lovely poem as well, an altogether beautiful combo.
Good luck to you :-)
Senyai
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
|
Hi DonandVicki,
This is wonderful. You followed the 3-6-9 format to a tee and nothing felt contrived or mechanical. You are an artisan with words. Also the misty photo to accompany presents your lovely poem as well, an altogether beautiful combo.
Good luck to you :-)
Senyai
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
-
Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
It would be easy to feel that you were the only one, in such dense fog, but me, I would be hoping I was, as I find fog creepy. You brought in the feeling of loneliness and solitude well in this foggy presentation. Nicely done, and good luck in the contest.
cheers
valda
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
|
It would be easy to feel that you were the only one, in such dense fog, but me, I would be hoping I was, as I find fog creepy. You brought in the feeling of loneliness and solitude well in this foggy presentation. Nicely done, and good luck in the contest.
cheers
valda
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
-
Thank you so much for your kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Some people enjoy the fog, I do not. I much prefer sunshiny days and crystal clear nights. It is not that I fear the dark. It is true that I do not trust things I cannot see enough to be comfortable in a fog.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
|
Some people enjoy the fog, I do not. I much prefer sunshiny days and crystal clear nights. It is not that I fear the dark. It is true that I do not trust things I cannot see enough to be comfortable in a fog.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
-
Thank you Nomi.
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
This is a good entry for the 3-6-9 Poetry contest. Your storytelling goes very well with the graphic you have chosen. The third line of your second stanza does a really good job with alliteration. Your poem is well written, and I wish you the best luck in the contest.
Robert.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
|
This is a good entry for the 3-6-9 Poetry contest. Your storytelling goes very well with the graphic you have chosen. The third line of your second stanza does a really good job with alliteration. Your poem is well written, and I wish you the best luck in the contest.
Robert.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
-
You are very kind, Robert.
-
Thank you, and good luck.
Comment from lyenochka
Your three lines pack a powerful punch with that final line as the fog can give us "feelings of invisibility". The only change I would suggest is two more stanzas to meet the contest requirements.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
|
Your three lines pack a powerful punch with that final line as the fog can give us "feelings of invisibility". The only change I would suggest is two more stanzas to meet the contest requirements.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
-
Thank you, I will do that
Comment from Nicki.B
This is an excellent short poem in form 3-6-9. I love the the mood and of the poem, the imagery chosen to compliment the words and I like that it has a sense of mystery about it. Well done and good luck with the contest.
Best wishes
Nicki
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
|
This is an excellent short poem in form 3-6-9. I love the the mood and of the poem, the imagery chosen to compliment the words and I like that it has a sense of mystery about it. Well done and good luck with the contest.
Best wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 29-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2024
-
Thank you so very much.
