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Detour

Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Stranger Danger"
Two very real women in not so real situation.

30 total reviews 
Comment from Lori Mulligan
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a really engaging read and you so captured Jane's creepiness! How scary! I'm glad Rebekah is starting to breakout of her shell. It's going to be fun to watch her transformation. Good forward to more!

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    Thank you, Lori; I always look forward to your review and feedback. Yes, Rebekah is starting to embrace the modern world! xoxo
Comment from Jim Wile
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I think this may have been your funniest chapter yet, Rachelle. So many good scenes and clever lines here like, Gretchen spraying her drink from her nostrils, your definition of PG, missing Amish life while in the presence of this maniac, Gretchen's preference to take Rebekah clothes shopping instead of the alternative, the realization of the name similarity to Baby Jane, and the suggestion she meet Lance at the convention with her approach to poetry.

What a fun car trip to Long Island for the readers, if not for the characters!

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    Oh, Jim! I absolutely love you for seeing all the parts that were my favorite, too. This is such a great review; I couldn't appreciate it more. Thank you. xoxox
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a great change up in the story.
"Did you graduate with together? - oops
geysering - I love making unconventional verbs out of nouns.
Your last sentence is 100% publishable. Best ever! "...cough in the wake of my fuselage". Magnificooooooooooooooo!

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    Oh, you sweetie-reviewer, you!! Thank you for this encouragement and the extra star. Very very much appreciated. Thanks for the eagle-eye edit, too. xoxo
reply by Wayne Fowler on 22-Sep-2024
    smiley face here
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your humor was outstanding...like listening to a well-known comedian spout his favorite jokes. It was a wonderful way to start my morning and the visions that popped into my head with your descriptions were hilarious. Thank you so much for sharing.
Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    Thanks for this very kind and encouraging review. xoxox
Comment from CD Richards
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

OK, I have no choice but to award maximum stars for your references to my better half's favourite movie. Coincidentally, her name is also Jane, but with a Y, as in Mansfield.

Aside from that, this story has a couple of other things going for it, such as great pace and tone and a generous dash of humour. Which leads me to how I love your introductions to Jane's totally inappropriate offerings. Do you by any chance have a sideline when you're not teaching aspiring musicians?

Totally enjoyable, well done :)



 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    Hahaha. This is my favorite review. Thank you for your humor and generosity! It has started my day off with such fun. xoxox
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

"Did you graduate with together?" - Do you want "with" in there?

Tic Toc is spelled Tik Tok

90 minutes to clothes shop? Rachelle, is that even possible in your world?

I'm hoping that you ditch Jane soon, as well. Just reading the way she speaks makes me want to puke. Which is probably exactly what you were going for:-)

After Rebekah is dropped off, I really hope we get at least one more chapter that let's us know how she's adjusting. PLEASSSSSSE!

You and Gretchen are doing a great job (I'm talking real-life characters now) of keeping up with this story. Good on you:-)

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    Thanks for the eagle-eye catches. You know that I always appreciate your having my back like that. And yes, not to worry, after dropping Rebekah off, we have to go to the convention, so that will not be the end of the story. And of COURSE we all have to know how Rebekah is doing!! I'd lose my Jewish Mommie card-carrying privileges if I didn't do that!! xoxox
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I loved the humour in your post Rachelle, you amused me throughout. Your lighthearted approach to someone who seems more like a thorn in your side, confirms to me that you are tolerant and kind. Or perhaps you are just pragmatic just now and you'll be glad when you reach your final destination. Either way, I loved the way you handled this situation, a joy to read, love Dolly x x x

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    I can be tolerant and kind for just so long, Dolly, and Jane is stretching me to my limit!! Thank you for this really nice review and, of course, for the exceptional rating, as well. xoxox
Comment from Wendy G
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Of course it's six stars. You deserve it for putting up with Jane Babies/Baby Jane - and I love the reference to Lancellot! Now if and when you all survive the trip without any bloodshed, please do NOT tell her to review my writing, and NO I will not become her fan! Oh wait. I hope she doesn't offer to do illustrations (for a price) as well as post her poems!!!
Wendy

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!! You slay me, Wendy!! Thanks for the best laugh this morning. xoxoxo
Comment from LJbutterfly
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This chapter is hilarious, from Gretchen's Pepto Bismal face to my memory of Bette Davis's face in the movie, when she had lipstick smeared around her mouth.

I realize Jane is a fictitious character, but you have done such a fantastic job creating her, that I am annoyed every time she speaks. When she wanted the same hat and shoes as you, I had to calm myself down. Your reference to Single White Female was perfect.

There was a lot happening in this chapter, and I enjoyed reading it all.

"Did you graduate with together? (remove 'with')
"What does 'PG' stand for in your word? (world)

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 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    This is the ultimate compliment; thank you very much.

    And thanks for the eagle-eye edit catch, too. I appreciate your having my back. xoxox
Comment from pome lover
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

well, I feel like you're way too nice to her, and since I'm not there, (heh) why can't you just tell her she's so far out of line, she needs to ferme la bouche, Sweeetie, PRONTO!! I truly do hope you think up a good plan for her exit.
This is a neat, though agonizing chapter. Good character portrayal of a "do you know how stupid you are?" person.
Katharine

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 Comment Written 22-Sep-2024


reply by the author on 22-Sep-2024
    Hahaha. I did have extra fun with this one this week, I have to admit. We all know annoying people, and this one takes the cake. Poor Tova with this creature in her everyday life!!

    Thanks for the delightful review. xoxo