Obsessed with the Moon
A man is obsessed with the moon28 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Pam,
I hope you get well soon.
This is such a lovely poem; the images and personification of the moon give a new "light" to Earth's only satellite.
(There will be a partial lunar eclipse on September 17, I hope you get to see it ,weather permitting).
Get well soon, Pam.
Best wishes and
Blessings,
Cindy
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Pam,
I hope you get well soon.
This is such a lovely poem; the images and personification of the moon give a new "light" to Earth's only satellite.
(There will be a partial lunar eclipse on September 17, I hope you get to see it ,weather permitting).
Get well soon, Pam.
Best wishes and
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 09-Sep-2024
Comment from SimianSavant
Nice work Pam. This entry shows a lot of imagination. My favorite part was:
When dusk's gray fingers start to spread,
they'll tuck the sunset into bed.
I didn't spot any real issues for correction. If I were to nitpick: "and, shades of dusk are standing by." <= I would ditch the comma, as it might suggest a pause disruptive to your otherwise perfectly functional meter.
Regards and best wishes for you speedy recovery,
🦍:
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Nice work Pam. This entry shows a lot of imagination. My favorite part was:
When dusk's gray fingers start to spread,
they'll tuck the sunset into bed.
I didn't spot any real issues for correction. If I were to nitpick: "and, shades of dusk are standing by." <= I would ditch the comma, as it might suggest a pause disruptive to your otherwise perfectly functional meter.
Regards and best wishes for you speedy recovery,
🦍:
Comment Written 09-Sep-2024
Comment from Begin Again
No surgery leaves us feeling terrific when it's first completed, but back surgery seems like one of the worst. I hope your pain subsides soon and you are back to yourself again. Thank you for sharing your awesome poem. I enjoyed it very much.
Smiles, Carol
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No surgery leaves us feeling terrific when it's first completed, but back surgery seems like one of the worst. I hope your pain subsides soon and you are back to yourself again. Thank you for sharing your awesome poem. I enjoyed it very much.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 09-Sep-2024
Comment from Sugarray77
I hope your rehab goes smoothly and effortlessly, Pam. So sorry for your pain! I loved reading this well written verse that flows and ebbs with the rhythm and rhyme. Well done.
Melissa
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I hope your rehab goes smoothly and effortlessly, Pam. So sorry for your pain! I loved reading this well written verse that flows and ebbs with the rhythm and rhyme. Well done.
Melissa
Comment Written 09-Sep-2024
Comment from royowen
I'm sorry to hear you are in pain and suffering the pain you are dealing with this day, this is a terrific post my friend, and hopefully we'll see more of this shortly, yore a high class writer dear girl, well done, blessings Roy
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I'm sorry to hear you are in pain and suffering the pain you are dealing with this day, this is a terrific post my friend, and hopefully we'll see more of this shortly, yore a high class writer dear girl, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 09-Sep-2024
Comment from jenintorre
I really enjoyed reading this beautiful poem. I love the imagery that you portray. One of my favorite lines is 'The sun will melt the morning dew'.
Wishing you a speedy recovery. Love Jen.
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I really enjoyed reading this beautiful poem. I love the imagery that you portray. One of my favorite lines is 'The sun will melt the morning dew'.
Wishing you a speedy recovery. Love Jen.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Sorry to hear you are in rehab Pam and I hope you recover soon, our thoughts are with you. You have penned a beautiful poem with perfect metre and rhyme here and you told a sentimental story within, much enjoyed, a skilful post, love Dolly x x x
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Sorry to hear you are in rehab Pam and I hope you recover soon, our thoughts are with you. You have penned a beautiful poem with perfect metre and rhyme here and you told a sentimental story within, much enjoyed, a skilful post, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 09-Sep-2024
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Sure hope your back is healing completely.
I liked reading this poem. It has a calm tone or mood.
Favorite lines:
When dusk's gray fingers start to spread,
they'll tuck the sunset into bed.
Little fixes:
and, shades of dusk are standing by.
I would take the comma out after and.
The city night's electric flow,
suppresses stars that want to glow.
You can take the comma out after flow.
and, wonders if she's worth the cost.
You can take the comma out after and.
Perhaps someday he'll figure out,
You can take the comma away from after the word 'out.' That is because you just have one independent clause there.
Same goes for this line:
She says that he should not forget,
You can take the comma out after the word forget.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Sure hope your back is healing completely.
I liked reading this poem. It has a calm tone or mood.
Favorite lines:
When dusk's gray fingers start to spread,
they'll tuck the sunset into bed.
Little fixes:
and, shades of dusk are standing by.
I would take the comma out after and.
The city night's electric flow,
suppresses stars that want to glow.
You can take the comma out after flow.
and, wonders if she's worth the cost.
You can take the comma out after and.
Perhaps someday he'll figure out,
You can take the comma away from after the word 'out.' That is because you just have one independent clause there.
Same goes for this line:
She says that he should not forget,
You can take the comma out after the word forget.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2024
