Robins Come Out in Spring
The changing of winter to spring40 total reviews
Comment from Samantha Wymer
What a beautiful poem describing spring coming and old man winter's fading away. I love how you describe Robin's. They are such a remarkable bird. I keep a bird feeder out in the front of my house and I love when the robins come. Excellent.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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What a beautiful poem describing spring coming and old man winter's fading away. I love how you describe Robin's. They are such a remarkable bird. I keep a bird feeder out in the front of my house and I love when the robins come. Excellent.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Just curious do you have worms in your birdfeeders because robind don't eat seeds
Thank you for your wonderful comments
Comment from Shanbreen
This poem reminds me that our summer is ending soon, although, I have no problems with that because we humans, have made it too hot. Nobody's fault but ours.
There are aspects of your poem that makes me long for autumn
With colors of yellow, rust and deep red,
the forests become a colorful bed.
You are so prolific. Thanks for sharing, Pam.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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This poem reminds me that our summer is ending soon, although, I have no problems with that because we humans, have made it too hot. Nobody's fault but ours.
There are aspects of your poem that makes me long for autumn
With colors of yellow, rust and deep red,
the forests become a colorful bed.
You are so prolific. Thanks for sharing, Pam.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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This is one thing I can do is to respond to reviews because I can use my microphone. So thank you for the wonderful thoughtful comments, my friend.
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Hey, I am so happy you can use a microphone. I hope you are doing well. I am rooting for you to get back on the horse. =)
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Thank you. I've been posting something soon maybe immediately. But I can't afford to do that often and it's still hard for me to review other work
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Hey, I am glad you are back. I, as usual will response to your postings, although I will be off for a week or so (I am involved as volunteer in in a world wide research study on Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis).
BTW, how was your surgery? I am sure it went well. Are you in a wheelchair? Take care of yourself, and continue with your writing. I have a feeling it will help in your recovery. =)
Comment from SimianSavant
The meter is a bit loose in this one, and this entry could achieve its potential by tightening that up a bit and perhaps focusing on one seasonal transition instead of multiple. Cold/molt have the same vowel but don't quite rhyme. I would consider changing up this stanza. For example:
Stripping trees naked comes wintery cold,
Dulling their plumage that used to be bold
Typos:
Among the bare trees is.wintery cold <= accidental period
the forests become <= extra space => a colorful bed.
while veges and fruits are starting to grow. <= veges = veggies??
But, soon we decide to venture outside,
to see for ourselves that autumn has died.
Appearing in Spring are blossoms and fruits
that sprang from inside their underground roots. <= this seems a bit of a jump, from autumn straight to spring, when you were just talking about winter. It might be worth re-ordering some of the rhyming couplets.
Font is crisp and easy to read.
I don't like to dock points on an entry like this, so please message me back after fixing the typos so I can add back a star.
Thank you for sharing,
🦍
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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The meter is a bit loose in this one, and this entry could achieve its potential by tightening that up a bit and perhaps focusing on one seasonal transition instead of multiple. Cold/molt have the same vowel but don't quite rhyme. I would consider changing up this stanza. For example:
Stripping trees naked comes wintery cold,
Dulling their plumage that used to be bold
Typos:
Among the bare trees is.wintery cold <= accidental period
the forests become <= extra space => a colorful bed.
while veges and fruits are starting to grow. <= veges = veggies??
But, soon we decide to venture outside,
to see for ourselves that autumn has died.
Appearing in Spring are blossoms and fruits
that sprang from inside their underground roots. <= this seems a bit of a jump, from autumn straight to spring, when you were just talking about winter. It might be worth re-ordering some of the rhyming couplets.
Font is crisp and easy to read.
I don't like to dock points on an entry like this, so please message me back after fixing the typos so I can add back a star.
Thank you for sharing,
🦍
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your consistently stellar review and for your suggestions
Comment from CrystieCookie999
I liked reading this poem. The line that sounded a little quirky was:
The worms will make robins stick out their tongues. I had to go look that up! Whaddya know, an article said they really do use their tongues.
The only suggestion I had was here:
while veges and fruits are starting to grow.
I think you mean: veggies and fruits
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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I liked reading this poem. The line that sounded a little quirky was:
The worms will make robins stick out their tongues. I had to go look that up! Whaddya know, an article said they really do use their tongues.
The only suggestion I had was here:
while veges and fruits are starting to grow.
I think you mean: veggies and fruits
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and for the spelling of veggies
Comment from Snowball30
l liked the photo of the robin with the worm but l think the poem needs some work on it to improve the rhythm. The last word in the first stanza would rhyme better with cold if it was mould and not molt.
l am not sure the winter's footsteps fill us with dread. lt can be a magical time, beautifully transforming the landscape, while children will enjoy sleighing and making snowmen and playing with snowballs `However, the poem is about robins, the flight in winter and their return back in spring. l have never seen a robin, which is one of my favourite birds, stick out a tongue,while in my neck of the woods, robins can be seen all year round. They are very territorial and will guard their space from any intruders. Good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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l liked the photo of the robin with the worm but l think the poem needs some work on it to improve the rhythm. The last word in the first stanza would rhyme better with cold if it was mould and not molt.
l am not sure the winter's footsteps fill us with dread. lt can be a magical time, beautifully transforming the landscape, while children will enjoy sleighing and making snowmen and playing with snowballs `However, the poem is about robins, the flight in winter and their return back in spring. l have never seen a robin, which is one of my favourite birds, stick out a tongue,while in my neck of the woods, robins can be seen all year round. They are very territorial and will guard their space from any intruders. Good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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oh, this is not for a contest and while your rhymes are allowed in poems, I did change it to would. Thank you for your wonderful comments
Comment from Katiemae1977
This is really charming Pam. You weave some really good lines in this poem.
My favorite line...
Appearing in Spring are blossoms and fruits
That sprang from inside their underground roots.
I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Katherine
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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This is really charming Pam. You weave some really good lines in this poem.
My favorite line...
Appearing in Spring are blossoms and fruits
That sprang from inside their underground roots.
I thoroughly enjoyed this.
Katherine
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and excellent rating
Comment from Aussie
What a gift you have. I loved your quatrains. Australia doesn't have Robins, but it is a splendid photo. Our native birds fly north for the winter. Soon they'll be back having their normal noisy meetings in my garden tree.
Super poem, most enjoyable. K xx
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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What a gift you have. I loved your quatrains. Australia doesn't have Robins, but it is a splendid photo. Our native birds fly north for the winter. Soon they'll be back having their normal noisy meetings in my garden tree.
Super poem, most enjoyable. K xx
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and encouragement
Comment from zanya
A poem reflecting on the transition from Winter to Spring with the robin being the star of the show in that transition - the poet enables the reader to engage with the transition in a meaningful way
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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A poem reflecting on the transition from Winter to Spring with the robin being the star of the show in that transition - the poet enables the reader to engage with the transition in a meaningful way
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your wonderful comments and excellent rating
Comment from Sarah Sandison
Lovely poem that gave me images in my mind of the seasons and the part nature and robins make. I particularly liked the thought of the robin sticking out it's tongue. There is a lovely flow to this poem too, I could almost hear myself saying to a beat. Well done :)
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Lovely poem that gave me images in my mind of the seasons and the part nature and robins make. I particularly liked the thought of the robin sticking out it's tongue. There is a lovely flow to this poem too, I could almost hear myself saying to a beat. Well done :)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Thank you for your lovely comments and your excellent rating
Comment from Jacob1395
Robins are definitely my favourite bird, I love how tame they are as well and don't appear to be afraid of humans. I always associate the robin with Christmas. I really enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Robins are definitely my favourite bird, I love how tame they are as well and don't appear to be afraid of humans. I always associate the robin with Christmas. I really enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2024
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2024
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Robins do migrate so I'm not sure if they would be around at Christmas if maybe you're thinking of Cardinals. or may be in the southern hemisphere at Christmas time Thank you for your wonderful comments
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We always get them in the winter in the UK.