What Brando and I Had in Common
We both got it25 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
It's good to see your name pop up again after a relatively long gap. Hope you've been ok. The story line here was excellent, just the grammar (tenses) kept slipping a bit. Keep working at it, kay
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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It's good to see your name pop up again after a relatively long gap. Hope you've been ok. The story line here was excellent, just the grammar (tenses) kept slipping a bit. Keep working at it, kay
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you, Kay. Long way to go.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Welcome back, Bruce! Great to read your original and thoroughly entertaining work again! This really is a dark one, almost french in its subject matter, exposing the sinister motivation/ depravity of this individual for the sake of his art. I like the contrast in the middle in the store where we see a side that when things don't go exactly to plan he's left feeling perplexed and off-balance. The twist at the end is a good and unexpected one, reinforcing the theme (perhaps) that life can't always be manipulated and 'has a habit of getting in the way when we're busy making plans.' Some small edits:
Para starting 'That was majestic...- (heaven-sent) rather than 'heavenly'? 'I should have just (done) it'; para starting: 'I made my way..' Round and plum(p); I couldn't breath(e); Don't be rush(ed); I had thousand(s) of thoughts.
Excellent post! Thanks for sharing. Debbie
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Welcome back, Bruce! Great to read your original and thoroughly entertaining work again! This really is a dark one, almost french in its subject matter, exposing the sinister motivation/ depravity of this individual for the sake of his art. I like the contrast in the middle in the store where we see a side that when things don't go exactly to plan he's left feeling perplexed and off-balance. The twist at the end is a good and unexpected one, reinforcing the theme (perhaps) that life can't always be manipulated and 'has a habit of getting in the way when we're busy making plans.' Some small edits:
Para starting 'That was majestic...- (heaven-sent) rather than 'heavenly'? 'I should have just (done) it'; para starting: 'I made my way..' Round and plum(p); I couldn't breath(e); Don't be rush(ed); I had thousand(s) of thoughts.
Excellent post! Thanks for sharing. Debbie
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you very much for such a comprehensive review, Debbie. Duly noted.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this with us. I guess the switching back of the gun didn't work. I enjoyed reading.
The next day we made two more rehearsals. (The following day)
"I know!" He screamed and pulled me towards him. (he screamed)
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you for sharing this with us. I guess the switching back of the gun didn't work. I enjoyed reading.
The next day we made two more rehearsals. (The following day)
"I know!" He screamed and pulled me towards him. (he screamed)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you dearly, Barbara.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I thought this was very enjoyable. I love the character development that you have here. The interactions with others, particularly the cashier at the store and their colleagues in the theater, provide insight into his manipulative nature. The twist at the end adds a layer of irony to the story that was surprising but so enjoyable. Your writing is gripping and thought-provoking! I loved it.
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reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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I thought this was very enjoyable. I love the character development that you have here. The interactions with others, particularly the cashier at the store and their colleagues in the theater, provide insight into his manipulative nature. The twist at the end adds a layer of irony to the story that was surprising but so enjoyable. Your writing is gripping and thought-provoking! I loved it.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thank you, MIchael. Insightful review.
Comment from Mark Jackson
This piece is a chilling exploration of the dark side of artistic ambition, featuring a complex protagonist whose descent into madness is both fascinating and deeply disturbing. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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This piece is a chilling exploration of the dark side of artistic ambition, featuring a complex protagonist whose descent into madness is both fascinating and deeply disturbing. Thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 05-May-2024
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Thanks for reading, Mark.
