Reviews from

Willing Hearts

Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Willing Hearts Chapter 7 B"
Solve a crime and fall in love at the same time?

31 total reviews 
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another well-crafted chapter. The pace seems at ease, and it seems like you are allowing your characters to get to know each other and the readers to get a full understanding of them.
 
"Sami, my only intent is to keep you safe."

-Doesn't this sound very familiar?

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 02-Apr-2024
    Don't most guys want to keep females safe. I think that's pretty universal. My grown boys still want to keep their mom safe, as well as their wives, and daughters. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is another excellent chapter. You are moving the story along nicely. There is a famous movie line my husband likes to communicate. "What we have here is a failure to communicate." Sounds like Noah and Sami. I do not see any need for improvements. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review. My husband likes that line too. LOL
Comment from Ric Myworld
Excellent
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I'm just glad to know what even talented teachers make mistakes too. It gives me hope that I'm not just one huge mistake that keeps happening all the time. LOL. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    LOL You're too kind. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

To my mind this flowed better than recent chapters, and the dialogue was extremely realistic and pushed the action along well. It was well-deserving of a six star rating. kay

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the encouagement.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Another great character building chapter. Noah can be a bit abrasive, can't he.

I would take a look a this sentence.:

Anyway, to force it to lead elsewhere?"

(Didn't seem right. I'm no grammar expert but would this be an 'any way' situation? Also, maybe No comma. Not sure)

Good book!
D

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    I changed that sentence. I'll see if I made it better or worse. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Teri7
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Barbara, This is another really great chapter. You used great descriptive words and very good dialogue. I hope they do find the missing girl and she is alive. Thank you for sharing! I hope you had a very happy and blessed Easter too! love and blessings, Teri

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This excellent chapter covers the logistic of grocery shopping and the security factor generally. The frisson between Sami and Noah grows as your story progresses and, not surprisingly, she finds herself hanging on to him because things do get quite spooky out there. Well done for creating that chilling external sense of danger, skilful contrast and a reminder that Noah's cautionary behaviour is completely justified. Just one small edit noted: Any way to force it to lead outside (separate 'any' from 'way') Well done, Barbara, and Happy Easter to you too. Debbie

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    I just changed that sentence. I hope I made it better and not worse. LOl Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Begin Again
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Another great chapter, Barbara. Sami is making steps with the team except Noah...they seem to go back and forth...but little by little I think they will make it. A good read. Hope you enjoyed your weekend.
Smiles, Carol

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 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    I pray you had a wonderful and restful weekend. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
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This story is enjoyable as it causes me to think about just how difficult a situation like this could be. Sammi's unfamiliarity with this type of situation is causing some problems, but I believe that she is slowly coming around. Very good.

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    She is slowly coming around. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Barbara, this is another great chapter and I'm glad that Sami and Noah are starting to see eye to eye.
I know what you mean not seeing the errors when you edit. I saw none here. I hope you and you family had a lovely Easter. Ulla xcx

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2024


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2024
    Thank you for the kind review.